Kazde miejsce na ziemi ma swoj smak i kolor. Dla mnie takim lokalnym
specyfikiem jest londynskie metro. Unikam jak moge, ale i tak
dostarcza mi ono niezapomnianych przezyc w postaci ugrzezniecia
miedzy stacjami na 20 min. W miedzyczasie mozna uslyszec wiele
personalnych ogloszen. I slowo daje, czasami dochodze do wniosku, ze
kierowcy pociagu pomylili sie z powolaniem. Oni w radiu powinni
pracowac. Posmialam sie i ja, to i wy sie posmiejcie
A list of actual announcements that Tube train drivers have made to
their passengers...
1) "Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologise for the delay to your
service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you
happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to
cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction."
2) "Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller
suffering from E & B syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his
backside. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm
given any."
3) "Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news
is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a
great time. The bad news is that there is a points failure somewhere
between Stratford and East Ham, which means we probably won't reach
our destination."
4) "Ladies and gentlemen, we apologise for the delay, but there is a
security alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here
for the foreseeable future, so let's take our minds off it and pass
some time together. All together now.... 'Ten green bottles, hanging
on a wall.....'."
5) "We are now travelling through Baker Street ... As you can see,
Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually
told me, so I could tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about
things like that".
6) "Beggars are operating on this train. Please do NOT encourage
these professional beggars. If you have any spare change, please
give it to a registered charity. Failing that, give it to me."
7) During an extremely hot rush hour on the Central Line, the driver
announced in a West Indian drawl: "Step right this way for the
sauna, ladies and gentleman... unfortunately, towels are not
provided."
8) "Let the passengers off the train FIRST!" (Pause.) "Oh go on
then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care - I'm going
home...."
9) "Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this
with 'Please hold the doors open.' The two are distinct and separate
instructions."
10) "Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means
that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself
or your bags into the doors."
11) "We can't move off because some idiot has their hand stuck in
the door."
12) "To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on
the second carriage - what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't
you understand?"
13) "Please move all baggage away from the doors." (Pause..) "Please
move ALL belongings away from the doors." (Pause...) "This is a
personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the
rear of the train: Put the pie down, Four-eyes, and move your bl**dy
golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove
them up your a**e sideways!!"
--
If you have a story on that subject, why don't you keep it for
yourself! - Mock the Week
