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IP: * 26.10.05, 21:23

czy inne psy nie myślą,że pudle należą do jakiegoś zwariowanego
kultu religijnego ?
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      • tiresias kwestia pudla to powazna sprawa... 27.10.05, 16:39

        cytuję i zalecam lekturę:

        The Poodle Lecture
        ------Frank Zappa


        In the beginning God made 'the light.' Shortly thereafter God made three big
        mistakes. The first mistake was called MAN, the second mistake was called
        WO-MAN, and the third mistake was the invention of THE POODLE. Now the reason
        the poodle was such a big mistake is because God originally wanted to build a
        Schnauzer, but he fucked up. Now a long time ago, the poodle used to be a very
        attractive dog. The poodle had hair evenly distributed all over its small
        piquant canine type BODY. That's the way it used to be, the poodle used to be a
        regular looking dog. You know it's true, I guess you do too. (Oh, I have to
        kiss you? Oh okay.)

        Anyway listen, check this out. The poodle used to look good, you know the
        regular dogs that used to hang out in the neighbourhood looked at the poodle,
        didn't think anything of it. You know, they didn't use to make fun of it in the
        olden days. But the WO-MAN, as you know, has always been much smarter than the

        Guy In The Audience:

        You're the best!


        That stuff is very bad for you, throw it away, okay. Now you're interrupting my
        story, now listen . . . What is that? Is that the Tower of Power or what? Oh no
        no, it's one of those dope fiend devices, take it away. Now listen:

        The WO-MAN has always been much smarter than the MAN, you know this is true.
        And so it was since the beginning of time. The MAN would do anything to get
        some pussy. And that's why the WO-MAN always had control over him.

        In the beginning the WO-MAN looked the MAN directly into the eye and said: "I
        tell you what, why don't you go get a job because I could use a few nice things
        around the house. Mainly what I need is a clipper, a scissors, and a pair of
        zircon encrusted tweezers." (Thank you very much.)

        And of course the MAN did his duty as they say in the trade. He went out and he
        got a goddamn job. Went out and pushed that broom around for about a
        dollar-2.98 an hour, brought his money back to the garden of Eden and gave that
        money to the WO-MAN.

        The WO-MAN ran out the back door of the garden of Eden, went directly to the
        hardware store, got the clippers, the scissors and the zircon encrusted
        tweezers and came back and, while the MAN was very tired from having his job,
        while he was sleeping, the WO-MAN got a hold of the POODLE. Because the WO-MAN
        had noticed earlier that the length and proportion of the poodle oral
        appendage, the tongue of the dog in other words, ladies and gentlemen, was very
        much to her liking, except that this dog had too goddamn much hair on it. It
        didn't have the disco look that's so popular nowadays.

        And so the WO-MAN sat out to modify the aforementioned dog. Let me get a little
        uh, visual aid . . .

        Now she took the dog and she cleaned it up a little bit. You see, she took a
        little bit of the back-part here, around the neck, the thorax, the tootsies.
        Got all of the unwanted extranious material off this area which we shall call
        Burbank. Then she set the little sucker up like this, really nice, got his
        mouth set up like that. And squatted right ON HIM. Looking down into the dog's
        eyes. She looked down into the dog's eyes, do you know what she said to the
        dog? She said:
          • tiresias pudel wersja demo: 28.10.05, 09:19

            In the beginning GOD made 'the light.' Shortly thereafter GOD made the poodle-
            as you can see by this model that we have in front of us. When GOD made the
            poodle initially it was a very handsome sort of a dog-it had HAIR, HAIR, HAIR,
            evenly distributed all over its charming canine poodle-shape body.

            Shortly after the construction of the poodle itself, GOD made TWO big mistakes.
            The first one was called MAN, and the second one was called WO-MAN. WO-MAN
            looketh upon the poodle and saith unto herself, "This poodle, with hair evenly
            distributed all over its body, is of no use to me for it is not SLICK, it is
            not STREAMLINE, it is not FASHIONABLE, and in many instances it is REPULSIVE
            because of the brown things attached to the hair on the rear part of the dog,
            and I must have this dog modified," so he turneth onto MAN, and saith unto
            MAN, "SUCKER, GO GET A JOB!" And MAN, being the chump that he was, wenteth out
            and wenteth forth and lefteth the cave, and went into the world itself and
            gotteth a job.

            Whereupon he returneth to the cave with his MONEY, and the WO-MAN looketh upon
            the money and said, "SUCKER! Take this money and go buy me a pair of scissors,
            whereby I may clippeth upon this poodle and modify it to my own personal taste
            and secret moist innermost DESIRES." And the MAN, being the chump that he was,
            went out and bought her the poodle clipping shears and broughth 'em back to the
            WO-MAN and handeth the shears to the WO-MAN, whereupon she GRABBETH the poodle
            thusly . . . and with a DEFT, SWIFT, DENSE ECUMENICAL PATINA (Talk about it!)
            of STROKE (Talk about it!), she clippeth upon the poodle, near the FETLOCK, all
            across the THORAX, in the MEDULA, and . . . right near the cappuciano o'er
            here, and streamlined that sucker until it looked just like this, with little
            feet sticking out and a little ball on the end, making the dags very easy to
            remove, and she putteth the poodle in a quasi erotic sort of a position, near
            where she was sprawled out on the cave . . . stucketh her leggeths up unto the
            air, "Buf," like this, exposing to the poodle the central core of her desire,
            and looked deep into the poodle's eyes and said these piquant little words that
            we shall not soon forget:

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