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Brown's Budget Speech 2007

21.03.07, 10:48
Budget 2007 - Final Draft

"Mr Deputy Speaker, my parting gift as Chancellor, after a decade of cooking
the books and fiddling the numbers, is a Budget for Truth.

Let's start with growth. It has been phenomenal. I'm referring, of course, to
the growth in taxes. More than 100 new ways to extract pounds from your
pocket. Yes, your money makes my world go round.

Every year, taxpayers cough up about £500bn. Income tax, council tax, value-
added tax, corporation tax, capital gains tax, excise duties, stamp duties,
business rates and national insurance (a form of tax) pour into my coffers.

Even so, it's not enough, because I can knock it out far more quickly than
you can earn it. Last year, for instance, I had to borrow £35bn to cover my
vast over-spending. Dowdy old Prudence and I split up years ago.

The best way to burn resources on such a scale is to squander enormous sums
on unreformed public services. This we have done magnificently. Fortunes
wiped out in pursuit of a state-funded utopia to rival that of North Korea.

Nearly £100bn a year spent on health - about £1,600 for every man, woman and
child - yet we're still sacking nurses and closing hospitals. A triumph.

About £75bn a year on education but, in order to get many non-public school
kids into decent universities, we need to lower the bar to floor level.

So I'm particularly grateful to the bright spark who came up with the idea of
asking students to tell us if both their parents went to university. By
discriminating against these, we can pretend that state schools are working.

In business, it's also up, up, up. Taxes up. Red-tape up. Corporate collapses
up. Our unprecedented barrage of rules and regulations has destroyed morale
amongst entrepreneurs. They've simply lost the will to live.

And comrades, the victory parade doesn't stop there.

My booming economy has been underpinned by levels of personal debt undreamt
of even by the most avaricious pawnbroker. While the tills keep ringing, more
than 100,000 over-borrowed punters went bust last year. As the mortgage rate
creeps ever higher, so does unemployment and the number of house

A few more years of this and Labour's dream of equality will be a reality.
All of us will be the same - penniless dossers.

Nor do we discriminate between young and old. It's not just the youth who are
staring into the abyss. Old people, too, are terrified about the future. Why?
Because my tax grab has completely wrecked Britain's private pensions.

I call it the Swiss Cheese System: the funds are full of holes. Brilliant. We
can't have pensioners enjoying financial independence. That will never do. So
I've introduced widespread means testing, ie, they must crawl to me for help.

And finally, there's the £150bn a year I spend on "social protection",
including incapacity benefits to 2.7m claimants, even though we recognise
that about 1m of them are fit for work and should be looking for jobs. This,
Mr Deputy Speaker, is my plan to turn the country into a welfare-dependent,
socially engineered, enterprise-free zone of illiterate bankrupts, and I
commend it to the House."

Edytor zaawansowany
  • marcus_anglikiem 21.03.07, 13:23
    very astute my ol' fellow, i like it! ... give Brits £9.3bn and they'll blow it
    all, and no doubt more, to get everyone running around in brightly-coloured
    nylon vests, extending the nation's revenue/expenditure gap to almost £70bn!
    give the Swiss £9.3bn and they'll build the World's Longest Tunnel, And have
    £1.8bn change for future structural maintenance And maintain a
    revenue/expenditure surplus of £1.9bn ...
  • varsovian 21.03.07, 13:30
    And didn't you just love PwC forgetting to tell the Govt they hadn't added VAT
    to the London Olymiopics budget.
    Ooops, totally out of character.
  • varsovian 21.03.07, 15:54
    I get your point, but it depends on how they're funding it.
    I mean, it's not as if all the money is coming directly from the public purse.
    Rather like with NHS - public funding by indirect and inefficient routes so it
    can be dressed up as non-public debt.
    You'd know more about this than me, obviously.
    I bow to you, oh great white bean-counter! Impart thy pennyworth.
  • varsovian 21.03.07, 16:01
    Brown has cut income and corporation tax.
    Very nice man.
    Now, will he make Barclays pay their fair share of tax and will the Inland
    Revenue stop using tax evasion techniques with regard to their own premises?
  • marcus_anglikiem 22.03.07, 09:19
    i doubt it, the Inland Revenue are dirty thieves.
  • usenetposts 24.03.07, 18:10
    marcus_anglikiem napisał:

    > i doubt it, the Inland Revenue are dirty thieves.

    Amen. Like all tax offices, and all governments, everywhere.
    The POlish one is one of the worst of the lot, and they think they are doing
    you a big favour by letting YOU give away 1% of the money of yours that they
    give away on your behalf.

    And they wonder why people don't take them up on it and be grateful!

    - Moje wideo na YouTube -
    :: Foreigners Living in Poland Forum
  • runewyrm 23.03.07, 16:23
    Brown has cut only the middle band income tax, to kiss ass of the middle income
    electorate. Getting rid of the 10% tax band means that those with an income
    below 18000GBP, around 2 million people, are over a barrel and getting a right
    royal screwing. Charities are in the same situation. And this guy is from Labour!
  • marcus_anglikiem 24.03.07, 22:47
    i think a certain spokesman from KPMG summed it up best when he said, so
    basically, the standard tax rate is now 31% (with "national insurance at 11%")
    ... if it goes on like this we shall have to start thinking of emigrating to
    Scandinavia wink

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