tekst do sprawdzenia, moje zaliczenie semestru!

hej! jestem studentka pierwszego roku i na zaliczenie musimy wyslac wykladowcy e-mail z wybranym przez nas tematem. min. 150slow. Bardzo prosze o sprawdzenie. Poprawe bledow konkretnie i ew. prosze o przeslanie jakis dodatkowych zdan :) moze macie jakies fajne cytaty? To bardzo wazny e-mail, wiec prosze o poprawke wszyyyyystkiego co sie da :)

Hello! It’s Roxana( SSL MSG)
So, it’s the high time to write an e-mail to you, I guess.
Subject I choose is: „A recent US survey showed children preferred parents to go out and earn the money rather than spend more time with them. What does it show, in your opinion?” 

Nowadays the world is changing so fast that it’s really very difficult to find a second to get a relief. Children have also changed. As far as I remember, when I was a kid, I was spending all my free time outside. It was the biggest fun for me, my friends and my parents! We were riding a bikes, playing some silly games but together. We were strengthening our relations. Those days children care only about new computer games, new mobile phones. It’s sick. Parents shouldn’t buy anything what the child wants. It will not only ruin their budget, but also family relations. When children are small it’s so important to show them how we need relations, how we need hugs and just love. If kids will only care about computers, I don’t really know how it will end. If a kid see mommy only working, daddy still working, he may think: „hey... so, that is the point of life- WORK” and in the future he or she also will become a „workaholic”, just to satisfy his child.
So my point is: no matter what the children says in surveys, parents should spend more time with them.