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Funny mistakes

IP: *.riv-res.charterpipeline.net 04.08.02, 23:12
While playing golf president Bush said "Now, watch this drive". Wiadomosci
translated it to "Teraz ide sobie pojezdzic". That reminded me of an article
I read some time ago "Jak poezje amerykanska zerznac tepym nozem" by
Stansilaw Baranczak. It had a whole bunch of funny mistakes made by polish
translators...

Anyway, if you know of any funny mistakes, let us know.
Edytor zaawansowany
  • Gość: Bert IP: *.214.87.249.Dial1.Boston1.Level3.net 05.08.02, 01:06
    From the bottomless pit of Bushlexia:

    "But even though I am mad, I still think peace is
    possible." -- George W. Bush

    "I wanna appreciate the members of both parties for
    coming this morning."
    NYT, July 26, 2002.

    Recently Bush announced "that a dangerous terrorist had
    been detained and 'is now off the streets, where he
    should be.'

    "And so, in my State of the ? my State of the Union ? or
    state ? my speech to the nation, whatever you want to
    call it, speech to the nation ? I asked Americans to give
    4,000 years ? 4,000 hours over the next ? the rest of
    your life ? of service to America." --Bush at Connecticut
    Fundraiser, April 9

    "Look, my job isn't to try to nuance, my job is to tell
    people what I think!" --April 2002 Texas Meeting With
    Tony Blair.

    "It would be a mistake for the United States Senate to
    allow any kind of human cloning to come out of that
    chamber."?Washington, D.C., April 10, 2002

    "I understand that the unrest in the Middle East creates
    unrest throughout the region."?-George W. Bush,
    Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002

    Still nettled by the criticism [about his failure to
    immediately return to the White House from Florida on
    Sept. 11, Bush recently] insisted: 'I wanted to go back
    to Washington. There is strong advice that I did not,
    primarily from the VicePresident.'" --TIMES, 11/26/01

    REPORTER: "You talk about the general threat toward
    Americans....And people ask us, what is it they're
    supposed to be on the lookout for?...What are Americans
    supposed to look for and report to the police or to the
    FBI?" BUSH: "You know, if you find a person that you've
    never seen before getting in a crop-duster that doesn't
    belong to you, report it...."Press Conference, 10/11/01

    from the Washington Post, Oct 3: "I am here to make an
    announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and
    airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport."
    --Washington Post, Oct. 3, 2001

    "They misunderestimated the fact that we love a neighbor
    in need. They misunderestimated the compassion of our
    country. I think they misunderestimated the will and
    determination of the Commander-in-Chief, too" --Bush, 9/26/01

    "Sometimes we agree. Sometimes we don't. But I tell you
    we'll always answer his phone." --Speaking to a Labor Day
    crowd in Kaukauna, Wis., about Carpenters' Union
    President Doug McCarron, 9/3/01. AP

    "Well, sometimes we see the will on the other side, and
    sometimes that cycle overcomes the will. There's a lot of
    people in the Middle East who are desirous to get into
    the Mitchell process, but first things first. These
    terrorist acts and the responses have got to end in order
    for us to get the framework -- the groundwork, not
    framework -- the groundwork to discuss a framework, to
    lay the -- all right." --Bush Rmks To Travel Pool, 8/13/01

    My administration has been calling upon all the leaders
    in the -- in the Middle East to do everything they can to
    stop the violence, to tell the different parties involved
    that peace will never happen. And so long as terrorist
    activities continue, it will be impossible to get into
    Mitchell or any other discussion about peace under the
    threat of terrorism." --to reporters, 8/13/01

    "I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate
    what I believe and what I believe -- I believe what I
    believe is right," he said, to the confusion of some of
    the listening journalists during an informal meeting near
    the steps of Rome in Italy where orators used to speak.
    --Reuters, 7/23/01

    "Well, it's an unimaginable honor to be the president
    during the Fourth of July of this country. It means what
    these words say, for starters. The great inalienable
    rights of our country. We're blessed with such values in
    America. And I--it's--I'm a proud man to be the nation
    based upon such wonderful values."--Visiting the
    Jefferson Memorial, Washington, D.C., July 2, 2001

    "I'm sure you can imagine it's an unimaginable honor to
    live here." --June 18, 2001 in a White House address to
    agriculture leaders.

    "Russia is no longer our enemy, and therefore we
    shouldn't be locked into a Cold War mentality that says
    we keep the peace by blowing each other up. In my
    attitude, that's old, that's tired, that's stale."--Des
    Moines, Iowa, June 8, 2001

    "But I also made it clear to [Vladimir Putin] that it's
    important to think beyond the old days of when we had the
    concept that if we blew each other up, the world would be
    safe."--Washington, D.C., May 1, 2001

    It's very important for folks to understand that when
    there's more trade, there's more commerce."--Quebec City,
    Canada, April 21, 2001

    "This administration is doing everything we can to end
    the stalemate in an efficient way. We're making the right
    decisions to bring the solution to an end."--Washington,
    D.C., April 10, 2001
  • Gość: Bert IP: *.214.112.52.Dial1.Boston1.Level3.net 07.08.02, 09:34
    "The California crunch really is the result of not enough
    power-generating plants and then not enough power to
    power the power of generating plants."

    "I'm hopeful. I know there is a lot of ambition in
    Washington, obviously. But I hope the ambitious realize
    that they are more likely to succeed with success as
    opposed to failure."

    "Redefining the role of the United States from enablers
    to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from
    peacekeepers is going to be an assignment."

    "We're concerned about AIDS inside our White House ? make
    no mistake about it."

    "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to
    pass a literacy test.''

    "My pan plays down an unprecedented amount of our
    national debt."

    "The legislature's job is to write law. It's the
    executive branch's job to interpret law."

    "If affirmative action means what I just described, what
    I'm for, then I'm for it."

    "Well, I think if you say you're going to do something
    and don't do it, that's trustworthiness."

    "I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to
    handle the job is underestimating"

    "The senator has got to understand if he's going to have
    ? he can't have it both ways. He can't take the high
    horse and then claim the low road." Bush, on Sen. John McCain

    "When I was coming up, it was a dangerous world, and you
    knew exactly who they were. It was us versus them, and it
    was clear who them was. Today we are not so sure who the
    they are, but we know they're there."

    "If the terriers and bariffs are torn down, this economy
    will grow."

    "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?"

    "Actually, I ? this may sound a little West Texas to you,
    but I like it. When I'm talking about ? when I'm talking
    about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of
    us are talking about me."

    "For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three
    non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in
    America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do
    something about it."

    "First, we would not accept a treaty that would not have
    been ratified, nor a treaty that I thought made sense for
    the country."?On the Kyoto accord

    "There are some monuments where the land is so
    widespread, they just encompass as much as possible. And
    the integral part of the?the precious part, so to speak?I
    guess all land is precious, but the part that the people
    uniformly would not want to spoil, will not be despoiled.
    But there are parts of the monument lands where we can
    explore without affecting the overall environment"

    "Ann and I will carry out this equivocal message to the
    world: Markets must be open"

    "If I'm the president, we're going to have emergency-room
    care, we're going to have gag orders."

    "I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot
    easier to answer questions. I can't answer your
    question."?In response to a question about whether he
    wished he could take back any of his answers in the first
    debate.

    "I will have a foreign-handed foreign policy."

    "He has certainly earned a reputation as a fantastic
    mayor, because the results speak for themselves. I mean,
    New York's a safer place for him to be."?On Rudy
    Giuliani, the mayor.

    "Laura and I really don't realize how bright our children
    is sometimes until we get an objective analysis."

    "I don't have to accept their tenants. I was trying to
    convince those college students to accept my tenants. And
    I reject any labeling me because I happened to go to the
    university."

    "This is Preservation Month. I appreciate preservation.
    It's what you do when you run for president. You gotta
    preserve."?Speaking during "Perseverance Month"

    "What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas,
    quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever.
    However they delineate, quotas, I think vulcanize
    society. So I don't know how that fits into what
    everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but
    that's my position.''

    'I see Senator Lieberman, who is really working hard in
    the Senate to cobble together a homeland security bill
    that will work.'

    The problem with the French is that they don't have a
    word for 'entrepreneur.'
    -- Statement apparently made to British PM Tony Blair.
    This quote has not yet been verified, but is becoming a
    runaway hit nevertheless.

    "Whether you're here by birth, or whether you're in
    America by choice, you contribute to the vitality of our
    life. And for that, we are grateful."

    'I'm here to talk about welfare reform, but I'm also here
    to make sure that the good people of Ohio send this good
    man back to the Governor's Mansion. There was a lot of
    reasons to send him back, but none greater than the fact
    that he married well.'

    'And we did something else that's important -- it's
    important for all small business owners -- and that is we
    eliminated the death tax. I say we eliminated the death
    tax. By a quirk of the Senate rules, the death tax,
    however, isn't eliminated after 10 years. That's a hard
    one to explain. We eliminated it, but didn't eliminate it.'

    'And one of the things we've got to make sure that we do
    is anything'

    'The country is -- has gotten to know Laura, like I have
    gotten to know her'
  • Gość: Wiktoria IP: 217.153.47.* 09.08.02, 14:59
    Well, funny mistakes happen to me and my friends. Once, during a dinner I
    asked my friend: "Do you want me give you a portion?" ( I think you know what
    it exactly means - I did know though).
    My friend - British, who is an English teacher, told me a story with his
    student. The polish idiom "Nie dam ci za to głowy" was translated into Eglish
    by the student who said "I won't give you a head for this" (can you imagin
    reaction the British teacher?).
    Once I found a fax message written by one of my colleague - the sentcece
    started as follows:"I please you to..." :-)))
  • Gość: erwas IP: 12.96.204.* 09.08.02, 15:34
    I always enjoyed a giant billboard standing facing the main international train
    line outside one of (then) East Berlin's stations: "Workers of the German
    Democratic Republic, thank you for your magnificent erections!
    erwas
  • kerryblue 09.08.02, 16:25
    rotfl
  • Gość: Yorick IP: *.olsztyn.cvx.ppp.tpnet.pl 10.08.02, 01:40
    I can't come up with anything more than 'give an abortion' or 'a potion' - but
    sure i must be mistaken... - tell me?
    as to the 2nd example I can imagine the reaction of the teacher to the refusal
    of giving head.... was that a female student? and a male teacher?

    as to Bush's speeches... i didn't have the nerve and time to read through them
    but some pieces were exceedigly funny, e.g. unrest in the whole region... or
    commander in chief's pity...
    regards
  • Gość: Wiktoria IP: 217.153.47.* 21.08.02, 11:12
    Gość portalu: Yorick napisał(a):

    > I can't come up with anything more than 'give an abortion' or 'a potion' -
    but
    > sure i must be mistaken... - tell me?
    > as to the 2nd example I can imagine the reaction of the teacher to the
    refusal
    > of giving head.... was that a female student? and a male teacher?
    >
    > as to Bush's speeches... i didn't have the nerve and time to read through
    them
    > but some pieces were exceedigly funny, e.g. unrest in the whole region... or
    > commander in chief's pity...
    > regards


    Yes, it was a male teacher and a female student...
  • Gość: aggie IP: *.olsztyn.cvx.ppp.tpnet.pl 08.09.02, 19:55
    'z góry dziekuję'- 'thank you from the mountains'
  • Gość: lumis IP: *.ae.krakow.pl 13.08.02, 13:51
    I got a really good one :)
    Here is what I found 10 years ago in the menu of a well-known pizzeria in
    Krakow.
    1. ..........
    2. ...........
    .
    .
    10. Pizza z mięsem (Pizza with meet)
    :))))))))))
    I just couldn't figure it out. Who the hell was I supposed to MEET??????
    :)))
  • Gość: Bartek IP: 213.77.2.* 13.08.02, 14:50
    Hoddog - mazury 2001
  • Gość: blb IP: 2.4.STABLE* / *.teleton.pl 08.09.02, 16:15
    on the menu, in a well-known,
  • Gość: Bert IP: *.214.100.247.Dial1.Boston1.Level3.net 13.08.02, 23:44

    These are actual statements taken from cards, letters and
    forms received by public assistance agencies.

    I am writing the Welfare Dept. to say that my baby was
    born 2 years old. When do I get my money?
    I cannot get sick pay. I have had 6 children. Can you
    tell me why?

    This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it?

    Please find for certain if my husband is dead, as the man
    I am living with can't do a thing until he knows.

    I am very much annoyed to find you have branded my boy as
    illiterate. This is a dirty lie. I was married to his
    father a week before he was born.

    In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a boy
    weighing 10 pounds. I hope this is satisfactory.

    I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3
    children, one of which was a mistake as you can see.

    My husband got laid off from his job 2 weeks ago, and I
    haven't had any relief since.

    I have no children yet as my husband is a bus driver and
    works night and day.

    In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth
    to twins in the enclosed envelope.

    I want my money as quick as I can get it. I have been in
    bed with a doctor for 2 weeks and he hasn't done me any
    good. If things don't improve I will have to send for
    another doctor.

    (In response to the question, "Why have you applied for
    public assistance?") My husband left me last month and I
    am in need of ass.
  • brite 15.08.02, 22:07
    aww
    the tears
    my eyes are full of them
    *bursts with laughter*
  • Gość: maya-22 IP: *.walbrzych.dialog.net.pl 25.08.02, 22:24
    my jaws are aching!it was just great!!!!
  • Gość: Aaron IP: *.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com 14.08.02, 03:03
    Mysle ze nie bardzo rozumiesz angielski jesli te kilka slow przetlumaczyles
    wlasnie w taki sposob.(drive in that situation means "..to frighten or prod
    (as game or cattle) into moving in a desired direction .. "
    Keep a hard work...
  • Gość: Bert IP: *.214.85.2.Dial1.Boston1.Level3.net 14.08.02, 04:04
    "Thank You. Now Watch This Drive."

    "Before starting his game yesterday, Mr. Bush, his driver
    in his left gloved hand, took time to condemn an
    overnight suicide bombing of a bus in Israel that killed
    at least nine. "I call upon all nations to do everything
    they can to stop these terrorist killers," Mr. Bush said
    on the first green of Cape Arundel, at 6:15 a.m. "Thank
    you. Now watch this drive." Without the slightest pause,
    Mr. Bush turned to his game -- and hit his first ball
    into the rough."
    The New York Times, August 5, 2002
  • Gość: Wkurzona IP: *.met.pl / 10.0.0.* 14.08.02, 12:36
    Sam jesteś pacan, albo nie zrozumiałeś dowcipu. A drive w tym momencie oznacza
    zamachnięcie się i wybicie piłki kijem golfowym. Podana wersja była dla
    śmiechu... Oj poucz się języków.
  • Gość: RAJMUND IP: *.vic.bigpond.net.au 14.08.02, 14:42

    In order to Meet the conditions for joining the single European
    currency,
    all citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland

    must be made aware that the phrase "Spending a penny" is not to be used
    after 31st. December 2002.
    >From that date the correct terminology will be "euronating".
  • Gość: RAJMUND IP: *.vic.bigpond.net.au 14.08.02, 14:45
    Diet? -------------------

    (A) The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer
    fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
    (B) On the other hand, the French eat a lot of
    fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
    (C) The Japanese drink very little red wine and
    suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
    (D) The Italians drink excessive amounts of red
    wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans
    (E) Conclusion: Eat & drink what you like. It's
    speaking English that kills you.
  • Gość: kubu IP: *.dhcp.adsl.tpnet.pl 14.08.02, 15:54
    jeszcze do niedawna w knajpie POD KOGUTKIEM na ul. Freta w Warszawie serwowano
    PEE SALAD :-///
  • Gość: Bert IP: *.214.103.180.Dial1.Boston1.Level3.net 14.08.02, 17:38
    Oodles of oops...
    Real signs from everywhere. Give the writers an "E" for
    effort.

    In a Tokyo Hotel:
    Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not
    a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

    In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
    The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that
    time we regret that you will be unbearable.

    In a Leipzig elevator:
    Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

    In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
    To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the
    cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a
    number of wishing floor. Driving is then going
    alphabetically by national order.

    In a Paris hotel elevator:
    Please leave your values at the front desk.

    In a hotel in Athens:
    Visitors are expected to complain at the office between
    the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

    In a Yugoslavian hotel:
    The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of
    the chambermaid.

    In a Japanese hotel:
    You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

    In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian
    Orthodox monastery:
    You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous
    Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are
    buried daily except Thursday.

    In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
    Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose
    in the boots of ascension.

    On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
    Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

    On the menu of a Polish hotel:
    Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy
    dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let
    loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's
    fashion.

    Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
    Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

    In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
    Drop your trousers here for best results.

    In a Rhodes tailor shop:
    Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will
    execute customers in strict rotation.

    A sign posted in Germany's Black forest:
    It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site
    that people of different sex, for instance, men and
    women, live together in one tent unless they are married
    with each other for that purpose.

    In a Zurich hotel:
    Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the
    opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the
    lobby be used for this purpose.

    In a Rome laundry:
    Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon
    having a good time.

    In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
    Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no
    miscarriages.

    In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
    We take your bags and send them in all directions.

    In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
    Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

    In a Budapest zoo:
    Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable
    food, give it to the guard on duty.

    In the office of a Roman doctor:
    Specialist in women and other diseases.

    In an Acapulco hotel:
    The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

    From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel
    air conditioner:
    Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in
    your room, please control yourself.

    From a brochure of a rental car firm in Tokyo:
    When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.
    Trumpet him melodiosly at first, but if he still
    obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.


  • Gość: Bert IP: *.214.74.35.Dial1.Boston1.Level3.net 14.08.02, 18:46
    I bet those will give a Pio Mio a fit.
  • Gość: Insomnia IP: *.acn.pl / 10.130.129.* 14.08.02, 22:04
    I love one translation. I don't remember the title of the film but the
    translation was great. One woman (still pregnant) was talking to her husband
    about organizing a baby shower. She asked: 'Where are we going to have a baby
    shower?' and the translation was: 'Gdzie wykąpiemy dzidziusia?'
  • Gość: agulha IP: *.acn.pl / 10.131.128.* 15.08.02, 11:01
    It's only after watching "Alf" that I got known that a "shower" is a kind of a
    party when people bring presents for the newborn.
    I heard about another funny translation...in a L.M. Montgomery's book about
    Emily it was written "Emily was going down the road. Her neighbour was driving
    the road and he proposed her a lift" and the Polish version was "i zaproponował
    jej windę"...
  • magdalin 15.08.02, 23:04
    It reminded me of one more lovely translation with the word: "baby". I heard it
    a long tome ago on the radio, somebody translated the title of a song: "So
    long, baby" as "takie długie dziecko". I thought I would die laughing.
    Another real life story: my brother-in-law, then a fresh law school graduate,
    at a party at the Jagiellonian University asked a guest from the Frankfurt law
    department ( an elderly gentleman), trying to make a polite conversation in his
    bad English: What kind of love do you practise? Poor guy did not pronounce the
    word: law properly, and - jugding by the dismayed look of his interlocutor - he
    was grossly misunderstood...
  • Gość: dan IP: *.idg.com.pl / 172.16.4.* 21.08.02, 14:29
    the best I've ever heard was in "Wayne's world" on Polsat. garth entered the director's house and said: "wow, cool house". It was translated as "chłodniutko tu"
  • Gość: Insomnia IP: *.acn.pl / 10.130.129.* 22.08.02, 22:16
    I love it :)))
  • Gość: Betty IP: *.visp.energis.pl 18.06.03, 19:05
    magdalin napisała:

    > It reminded me of one more lovely translation with the word: "baby". I heard
    it
    >
    > a long tome ago on the radio, somebody translated the title of a song: "So
    > long, baby" as "takie długie dziecko". I thought I would die laughing.
    > Another real life story: my brother-in-law, then a fresh law school graduate,
    > at a party at the Jagiellonian University asked a guest from the Frankfurt
    law
    > department ( an elderly gentleman), trying to make a polite conversation in
    his

    What about that funny translation of the title: "My little one" -moja mała
    jedynka
    >
    > bad English: What kind of love do you practise? Poor guy did not pronounce
    the
    > word: law properly, and - jugding by the dismayed look of his interlocutor -
    he
    >
    > was grossly misunderstood...
  • maggie7 15.08.02, 01:01
    Let me add someting. Seen on the menu in a restaurant in Poland:

    paluszki rybne - FISH'S FINGERS :o)))))
  • ozpol 15.08.02, 06:06
    maggie7 napisała:

    > Let me add someting. Seen on the menu in a restaurant in Poland:
    >
    > paluszki rybne - FISH'S FINGERS :o)))))


    Sorry you are wrong - we have fish fingers in our menu and we even have crab
    fingers.
    Sounds stupid but...
    --
    Ozpol
    Miedzy rajem a codziennoscia
  • Gość: Xiv IP: 62.189.123.* 15.08.02, 11:38

    I believe there are 'fish fingers' not 'fish's fingers' :)

    Xiv
  • maggie7 15.08.02, 14:05
    you didn't read it right, I wrote FISH'S FINGERS... and that's not correct fo
    sure :o) take care...
  • Gość: Bert IP: *.214.66.59.Dial1.Boston1.Level3.net 15.08.02, 07:56


    Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to
    follow.

    For those of you who have children and didn't know it, we
    have a nursery downstairs.

    The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the
    birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs.
    Julius Belzer.

    This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and
    North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at
    both ends.

    Tuesday at 4:00 pm there will be an ice cream social. All
    ladies giving milk will please come early.

    Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will
    sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.

    Thursday at 5:00 pm there will be a meeting of the Little
    Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers"
    will meet with the pastor in his study.

    This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come
    forward and lay an egg on the alter.

    The service will close with "Little Drops of Water". One
    of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the
    congregation will join in.

    Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray
    the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do
    something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.

    The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every
    kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

    A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the
    church hall. Music will follow.

    At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be
    "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.


  • Gość: Bert IP: *.214.94.245.Dial1.Boston1.Level3.net 20.08.02, 22:20
    The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which
    the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

    Today - Christian Youth Fellowship House Sexuality
    Course, 1 p.m.-8 p.m. Please park in the rear parking lot
    for this activity.

    22 members were present at the church meeting held at the
    home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening.
    Mrs.Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord
    Knows Why.

    Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I will not pass this way
    again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

    The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The
    sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

    Anna remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for
    more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping
    and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

    The ladies Bible Study will be held on Wednesday morning
    at 10 a.m. All ladies are invited to lunch in the church
    hall after the B.S. is done.

    The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without
    musical accomplishment.

    Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church
    and community.

    Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October
    24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in
    their school days.

    Don't let worry kill you--let the church help

    Next Sunday Mrs. Solosky will be soloist for the morning
    service. The Pastor will then speak on "It's a terrible
    experience"

    Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the
    addition of several new members and to the deterioration
    of some older ones.

    The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's
    Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The
    Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
  • Gość: Michelicus IP: *.wroclaw.dialog.net.pl 15.08.02, 10:36
    This can be well known by some of you. I don't remember a magazine which these
    examples were in:
    1. "To stop dripping - turn the cock right." - in the shower in hotel room in
    Japan
    2. "Dresses for streetwalking" - banner on one of the shops in large city in
    France

  • Gość: goska IP: *.warszawa.sdi.tpnet.pl 15.08.02, 20:34
    I worked for the American Embassy, at the visa unit. The common mistake that
    made us laugh was:
    "Kto bedzie opiekac dzieci, jak pani wyjedzie" -who's gonna bake your kids
    while you're gone.
    There was one man, who was not understood by us - Poles, but by American also.
    And his Polish was REALLY creative.
    Once he asked:
    "czi ma pani kont dewizowy" (do you have bank account in dollars, but he said
    smth like "a flat/quiet spot)
    the answer was:
    "nie. lokatorski" (no, community owned)
    I must think. There was a lot, almost everyday)




    Gość portalu: Michelicus napisał(a):

    > This can be well known by some of you. I don't remember a magazine which
    these
    > examples were in:
    > 1. "To stop dripping - turn the cock right." - in the shower in hotel room
    in
    > Japan
    > 2. "Dresses for streetwalking" - banner on one of the shops in large city in
    > France
    >
  • brite 15.08.02, 22:23
    great! give us more!
    =)
  • michelicus 15.08.02, 23:50
    I have a lot of contacts with people from Sweden who use English which we
    usually call SwEnglish. Example:
    Thet say "I'm not interesting" instead of "I'm not interested"
    They say "That's my view point."
    ... and many more.
  • Gość: paweljm@gazeta.pl IP: *.bakernet.com.pl 22.08.02, 12:43
    it so happens that the expression'that's my view point' is perfectly correct,
    Cheerio!
  • Gość: dajaj IP: *.acn.pl 21.06.03, 21:39
    Gość portalu: paweljm@gazeta.pl napisał(a):

    > it so happens that the expression'that's my view point' is perfectly correct,
    > Cheerio!
    it so happens that its not . 'Thats my point of view 'is correct. Thats my View
    point means smth like to moj taras widokowy ;)
  • Gość: Bert IP: *.214.69.99.Dial1.Boston1.Level3.net 18.08.02, 04:45
    Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
    WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

    Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan
    STOP: DRIVE SIDEWAYS

    In a Swiss mountain inn:
    SPECIAL TODAY---NO ICE CREAM

    A Finnish hotel?s instructions in case of fire:
    IF YOU ARE UNABLE TO LEAVE YOUR ROOM, EXPOSE YOURSELF IN
    THE WINDOW

    Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
    ENGLISH WELL TALKING
    HERE SPEECHING AMERICAN

    A sign on the lion cage at a zoo in the Czech Republic:
    NO SMOOTHEN THE LION

    Sign in a butcher?s window:
    PLEASED TO MEAT YOU

    In another Japanese hotel room:
    PLEASE TO BATHE INSIDE THE TUB

    On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania:
    DON'T SLEEP WITH A DRIP

    In a Bangkok temple:
    IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF
    DRESSED AS A MAN

    In a Tokyo bar:
    SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

    In a Japanese public bath:
    FOREIGNER GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT PULL COCK IN TUB

  • Gość: MaciekS IP: *.mad.east.verizon.net 19.08.02, 01:13
    Gość portalu: Bert napisał(a):

    > Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
    > WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
    >
    > Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan
    > STOP: DRIVE SIDEWAYS
    >
    > In a Swiss mountain inn:
    > SPECIAL TODAY---NO ICE CREAM
    >
    > A Finnish hotel?s instructions in case of fire:
    > IF YOU ARE UNABLE TO LEAVE YOUR ROOM, EXPOSE YOURSELF IN
    > THE WINDOW
    >
    > Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
    > ENGLISH WELL TALKING
    > HERE SPEECHING AMERICAN
    >
    > A sign on the lion cage at a zoo in the Czech Republic:
    > NO SMOOTHEN THE LION
    >
    > Sign in a butcher?s window:
    > PLEASED TO MEAT YOU
    >
    > In another Japanese hotel room:
    > PLEASE TO BATHE INSIDE THE TUB
    >
    > On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE
    Pennsylvania:
    > DON'T SLEEP WITH A DRIP
    >
    > In a Bangkok temple:
    > IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF
    > DRESSED AS A MAN
    >
    > In a Tokyo bar:
    > SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
    >
    > In a Japanese public bath:
    > FOREIGNER GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT PULL COCK IN TUB
    >



    Stop that!!! You are killing me. I almost fell off my
    chair :-)))

    I am going to the tub... I will leave the cock alone :-)
  • Gość: fonfette IP: *.elartnet.pl / *.elartnet.pl 21.08.02, 00:55
    :)

    From the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 150,000
    Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two
    years.

    In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest
    Methodists.

    On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR,
    you are welcome to it.

    In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are
    best in the long run.

    In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.

    A translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A lot of water has been passed
    under the bridge since this variation has been played.

    On the faucet in a Finnish washroom: To stop the drip, turn cock to right.

    In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coates made for ladies from their own
    skin.

    On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranted to work throughout
    its useful life.

    In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courteous,
    efficient self-service.

    In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since
    the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
  • Gość: Bert IP: *.214.126.109.Dial1.Boston1.Level3.net 16.08.02, 13:11
    Brits make signs too

    Sign in a London department store:
    BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

    In an office:
    WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY
    PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

    Outside a farm:
    HORSE MANURE 50p PER PRE-PACKED BAG 20p DO-IT-YOURSELF

    In an office:
    AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND
    UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

    On a church door:
    THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR.
    (THIS DOOR IS KEPT LOCKED BECAUSE OF THE DRAFT. PLEASE
    USE SIDE DOOR.)

    Outside a secondhand shop:
    WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING -- BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES ETC.
    WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

    Sign outside a new town hall, which was to be opened by
    the Prince of Wales:
    THE TOWN HALL IS CLOSED UNTIL OPENING. IT WILL REMAIN
    CLOSED AFTER BEING OPENED. OPEN TOMORROW.

    Outside a photographer's studio:
    OUT TO LUNCH, IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO

    Notice sent to residents of a Wiltshire parish:
    DUE TO INCREASING PROBLEMS WITH LETTER LOUTS AND VANDALS
    WE MUST ASK ANYONE WITH RELATIVES BURIED IN THE GRAVEYARD
    TO DO THEIR BEST TO KEEP THEM IN ORDER

    Sign on motorway garage:
    PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS. YOUR LIFE MAY
    NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS

    Notice in health food shop window:
    CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

    Notice in a field:
    THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE BUT
    THE BULL CHARGES

    Message on a leaflet:
    IF YOU CANNOT READ THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET
    LESSONS

    Sign on a repair shop door:
    WE REPAIR ANYTHING (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON DOOR -- BELL
    DOESN'T WORK)

    Spotted in a toilet in a London office block:
    TOILET OUT OF ORDER PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

    Somewhere in England in an open field otherwise untouched
    by human presence:
    DO NOT THROW STONES AT THIS SIGN


  • Gość: MaciekS IP: *.mad.east.verizon.net 16.08.02, 19:10
    Gość portalu: Bert napisał(a):

    > Outside a farm:
    > HORSE MANURE 50p PER PRE-PACKED BAG 20p DO-IT-YOURSELF

    > Spotted in a toilet in a London office block:
    > TOILET OUT OF ORDER PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW



    These are my two favorite texts :-))) The others are also
    "cool".
  • Gość: mika IP: 63.72.6.* 19.08.02, 03:22
    I think there is a lot of mistakes made by Polish translators. Unfortunately,
    not all are funny. Once I had my college degree translated into English, and it
    was just one big mistake. I wrote it myslef and made them sign. They
    apoligized, but I lost a lot of time. My son, who is bilingual, makes funny
    mistakes like: "zrob troche pokoju", when he wants his brother to move, and
    make room for him to sit. He makes much more, but I cannot recall them. Take
    care Mika
  • ozpol 19.08.02, 05:52
    This is from support call - in France
    "User is working FMS and apps hangs and have to shit down the apps. Stops
    responding."
    No English born people always make mistakes and we are not only one.

    --
    Ozpol
    Miedzy rajem a codziennoscia
  • Gość: STHL IP: *.balt.east.verizon.net 20.08.02, 02:04
    in a small toy store around the corner:

    four four by fours for fourteen dollars. fourty in stock.

    i have a picture of that somwhere, but I would have to look.
  • Gość: erwas IP: 12.96.204.* 20.08.02, 05:21
    Gość portalu: STHL napisał(a):

    > in a small toy store around the corner:
    >
    > four four by fours for fourteen dollars. fourty in stock.
    >
    > i have a picture of that somwhere, but I would have to look.


    I don't get it.
    fourty? is that the funny bit?
  • Gość: bubus IP: *.nyc.rr.com 21.08.02, 01:48
    Gosc Yorick napisal(a):
    "as to Bush's speeches... i didn't have the nerve and time to read through them
    but some pieces were exceedigly funny, e.g. unrest in the whole region... or
    commander in chief's pity..."

    Am I missing something? Where is the beef?
    Bubus


  • Gość: KK IP: 216.133.174.* 21.08.02, 12:58
    You ment: ...That reminded me of an article
    I RED some time ago...
    KK
  • Gość: Luki IP: 141.63.88.* 22.08.02, 14:20
    Gość portalu: KK napisał(a):

    > You ment: ...That reminded me of an article
    > I RED some time ago...
    > KK

    He MENT!?
    I bet he MEANT, if we are really going to be malicious.
    And read, not red, of course.
  • Gość: Jazzek IP: *.it.volvo.se / 172.20.6.* 21.08.02, 14:29
    "Noah's arc" translated as 'Łuk Noaha' by Marek Gaszyński on the radio
  • pawel78 21.08.02, 18:00
    You know "The Wonder Years", don't you? It's being broadcast again on TV Puls.
    The Polish translation is done by Piotr A. Majewski - I believe he did quite a
    good job except for a few really ridiculous mistakes. One of them:
    Denise, probably the most attractive girl in school, unexpectedly kisses Kevin
    on the lips when they're both sitting in her car. While she does, she passes
    her chewing gum from her mouth into his (of course we can't see it, but later,
    when she has left, he takes it out). The next day at school Kevin brags to his
    friends and they don't really believe him, so he says: "I had her gum in my
    mouth!" Polish translation?... yeah, you guessed: "Miałem w ustach jej dziąsła!"
  • Gość: Bert IP: *.214.85.249.Dial1.Boston1.Level3.net 22.08.02, 12:31

    Wanted: Widower with school age children requires person
    to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of
    contributing to growth of family.

    Modular sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.

    Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round
    bottom for efficient beating.

    Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

    Wanted: unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce
    at night.

    Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month.
    References required

    Cows, calves never bred...also 1 gay bull for sale.

    American flag 60 stars - pole included $100

    Nice parachute: never opened, used once, slightly stained.

    Found: dirty white dog...looks like a rat...been out
    awhile...better be reward

    Free puppies...part German shepherd, part dog

    German shepherd. 85 lbs. neutered. Speaks German. Free.


    Nothing wrong here:
    For sale by owner: complete set of Encyclopedia
    Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or
    best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend.
    Wife knows everything.
  • Gość: ja IP: 5.2.1R1D* / 10.125.120.* 22.08.02, 12:47
    najpocieszniejsze obrazki i teksty, wszystko w sam raz dla policji jezykowej :-)
  • Gość: Adam IP: *.torun.sdi.tpnet.pl 22.08.02, 20:29
    Hi,

    Where did you read Baranczak's article?

    Adam
  • Gość: RJK IP: *.igen.com 23.08.02, 00:53
    Niektore bledy tlumaczy wynikaja nie tyle z braku znajomosci idiomatycznego
    jezyka angielskiego, co z nieznajomosci kultury i historii Wielkiej Brytanii
    czy USA. Dawno, dawno temu telewizja polska pokazywala film z Betty Davis
    pt. "Elizabeth and Essex" (z niesmacznym tlumaczeniem "Prywatne zycie Elzbiety
    i Essexa". Hrabia Essex skarzy sie na skromne urodzenie krolowej Elzbiety i
    nazywa ja, wedle polskiego lektora "wielka wnuczka walijskiej ochmistrzyni".
    Prawie dobrze; pra-pradziadkiem Elzbiety byl walijski ochmistrz, Owen up Tudur.
    Tego samego wieczora w "kinie nocnym" uslyszalem kolejny kwiatek.
    Smiertelnie chory bohater zegna sie ze swoim przyjacielem cytujac ostatnie
    slowa Nelsona "Kiss me, Hardy." W polskim tlumaczeniu; "Pocaluj mnie mocno."
    Notabene, niektorzy twierdza, ze ostatnie slowa admirala Nelsona brzmialy w
    rzeczywistosci "Kismet, Hardy" co samo w sobie kwalifikuje sie do
    kategorii "funny mistakes".
    R
  • Gość: Wojtek IP: *.math.cas.cz / *.math.cas.cz 04.09.02, 19:39
    Gazeta Wyborcza. But it was almost 10 years ago :)
    Best,
  • Gość: Karuna IP: 167.167.57.* 23.08.02, 00:55
    anything out of Bush's mouth is usually a mistake and therefore hysterical to
    try and translate, poor interpreters....
  • Gość: marcin IP: *.clinternal / 10.2.2.* 23.08.02, 11:29
    a propos .. a joke:
    In Immigration Office:
    Clerk: SEX?
    Man: Twice a week.
    C: :) No, no .. I mean male or female?
    M: Doesn't matter :)

    take care , m
  • Gość: tom IP: *.srkch.pik-net.pl 23.08.02, 11:34
    And how about the wide-spread and ever-popular in Poland
    CHESSBURGER?
  • Gość: Maigwen IP: 213.173.201.* 23.08.02, 15:02
    Chessburger... no tak, hamburger w szachownicę, calkiem prawdopodobne,
    zwlaszcza na fali ostatnich rewelacji nt. mięsiw drugiej/trzeciej swiezosci...
    To nie pomylka, to szczerośc sprzedawców:-)
  • Gość: ZK IP: *.in-addr.btopenworld.com 23.08.02, 12:59
    I saw a few funny things while I was on holidays in greece. There was quite a
    big shop with sport equipment called "Athlete's Foot", which translated to
    Polish means "grzybica". It was also possible to eat "lamp" for a dinner in
    several restaurants - I guess they meant "lamb" actually.
  • Gość: RJK IP: *.igen.com 23.08.02, 13:57
    And the really funny thing is that "Athelet's Foot" is a bonifide world-wide
    chain store with atheletic footware. I've never set my foot in it and never
    will.
    R
  • Gość: tmq IP: *.warszawa.sdi.tpnet.pl 23.08.02, 15:05
    "athelete's foot" stores are located in almost every mall
    across US and canada. in poland there are malls with "af"
    stores too, i suppose
  • Gość: ZK IP: *.in-addr.btopenworld.com 23.08.02, 15:41
    This is really strange. I could understand in the Greece.... But worldwide? To
    make sure I have checked it on dictionary.com.... and that's what I found, and
    this is the only meaning. Does anyone have any explanation?

    ath·lete's foot (thlts)
    n.
    A contagious fungal skin infection caused by a species of Trichophyton or
    Epidermophyton that usually affects the feet, especially the skin between the
    toes, and is characterized by itching, blisters, cracking, and scaling;
    ringworm of the foot. Also called tinea pedis.

    Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth
    Edition
    Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
    Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

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