Kobietki (ale nie tylko) proszę o pomoc. Angielski

02.10.07, 20:46
Nie jestem zbyt dobra w pisaniu po angielsku. Proszę, zerknijcie na to swoim
fachowym okiem:

When the classroom door opened, everybody went silent. We thought, that must
be our teacher, but we saw only school corridor and nothing else. Nobody
stayed behind the door! Suddenly lights turned off. It was december, so we
fared in bad situation - round us was absolutly dark.

Some girl shouted. I wanted scream too, but I was felt that it wasn`t good
idea. I heard the noise from corridor, but I couldn`t see anything.
One boy - Borys - went out od class and the noise stopped. I feel like in
horror film - I was frightend and I didn`t know, what I must do. Borys said,
that school is closed and we left alone in building. I thought 'How he don`t
afraid?! He must be very brave.'
Always I was very ambitious and I didn`t want be worse than Borys, so I
decided to go with him.
'Ok, we go down to the basement' - said Borys.
'Oh no! I don`t go into the darkness! Never! I can check this floor' - I replied.
'As you wish. I try to find something on basement, maybe there will be fuses'.

We split up and eahc of us went in other side. Borys went downstairs, I came
back to the corridor, but I can`t find my class... I was really scared, tears
ran across my cheeks. After few steps I tripped about something.

The lights turned on and I saw body my teacher - sche was lying on the floor
and... she was death.

I don`t remember anything else. After while I was sitting on the square near
my school. It was still closed and dark...


Prosze o szybką odpowiedź i z góry dziękuję ;)
    • souls_hunter Re: Kobietki (ale nie tylko) proszę o pomoc. Angi 02.10.07, 20:51
      Many mistakes you did we say. =3
      • your.sugar Re: Kobietki (ale nie tylko) proszę o pomoc. Angi 02.10.07, 21:00
        Can You tell me what mistakes I made?
        • souls_hunter Re: Kobietki (ale nie tylko) proszę o pomoc. Angi 02.10.07, 21:02
          I'm not your english teacher. Trust me I'm the doctor.
          • your.sugar Re: Kobietki (ale nie tylko) proszę o pomoc. Angi 02.10.07, 21:05
            My teacher learnt that we MAKE MISTAKES, no DO (or did, like You wrote)
            MISTAKES. And if You don`t want help - don`t reply for my post.
            • ladyinblack Re: Kobietki (ale nie tylko) proszę o pomoc. Angi 02.10.07, 23:03
              poprawiłam co mogłam ale jestem już padnięta więc nie gwarantuję dobrej jakości.

              When the classroom door opened, everybody went silent. We thought that it was
              our teacher, but we saw only the school corridor and nothing else. There was
              nobody behind the door! Suddenly, the lights went off. It was December, so we
              fared in bad situation??? o co tu chodzi? – it was absolutely dark around us.

              A girl shouted. I wanted to scream too, but I felt that it wasn't a good
              idea. I heard the noise from the corridor, but I couldn't see anything.
              One boy - Borys - went out and the noise stopped. I felt like in a
              horror film - I was frightened and I didn't know what I should do. Borys said,
              that school was closed and we were left alone in the building. I thought 'How
              come he isn't
              afraid?! He must be very brave.'
              I've always been very ambitious and I didn't want to be worse than Borys, so I
              decided to go with him.
              'Ok, we'll go down to the basement' - said Borys.
              'Oh no! I don't go into the darkness! Never! I can check this floor' - I replied.
              'As you wish. I'll try to find something in the basement, maybe there will be
              some fuses'.

              We split up and each of us went in different direction. Borys went downstairs, I
              came
              back to the corridor, but I couldn't find my classroom... I was really scared, tears
              ran across my cheeks. After a few steps I tripped over something.

              The lights turned on and I saw my teacher's body - she was lying on the floor
              and... she was dead.

              I don`t remember anything else. After a while I was sitting on the square near
              my school. It was still closed and dark...
    • andreas3233 Re: Kobietki (ale nie tylko) proszę o pomoc. Angi 02.10.07, 23:55
      Uparcie uzywasz past tense, czemu nie present perfect tense?
      Nie ma co sie bac ppt.:))
      • ladyinblack Re: Kobietki (ale nie tylko) proszę o pomoc. Angi 03.10.07, 06:34
        hmm, z tego co rozumiem ma to być opowiadanie o zdarzeniu z przeszłości więc nie
        bardzo jest tam gdzie używać present perfect, który jak sama nazwa mówi jest
        czasem teraźniejszym (w polskim tłumaczonym jak czas przeszły ale to dlatego że
        nasz język nie ma odpowiednika tego czasu). To chyba nie kwestia strachu a
        zasadności użycia:)
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