Be safe in Warsaw

12.09.05, 21:50
The City of Warsaw, in conjunction with the Warsaw Voice, an excellent paper
dedicated to foreigners living in Poland as well as people in other countries
who are interested in Polish matters, have produced a leaflet in Polish and
English under the title "Be safe in Warsaw".

This is full of wise advice on how to conduct yourself in the following
situations; during an assault, if you hear shots (they mean shooting, or gun
shots, rather than alcoholic ones by the way), during a hostage situation, if
you see an unattended bag and in case of a bomb alert, as well as the generic
advice in case of fire, and what to focus on when calling for an ambulance.

What I wanted to repeat here is just the emergency numbers that you need to
know in Poland. Dialling 911 will not help you.

Here they are:

999 - ambulance
998 - fire brigade
997 - police
986 - straz miejska (the translation calls this the "City Patrol Force" but
I can think of some other more colourful descriptions for them)
992 - Gas leak emergencies
112 - mobile emergency number
9656 - City's technical emergency service.

There are also special emergency numbers for foreigners in Warsaw which are
manned by people who know English, French, German and Russian, and they are

0800 200 300 - toll-free
0608 599 999 - mobile
    • ianek70 Re: Be safe in Warsaw 18.09.05, 21:23
      usenetposts napisał:

      > This is full of wise advice on how to conduct yourself in the following
      > situations; during an assault, if you hear shots (they mean shooting, or gun
      > shots, rather than alcoholic ones by the way), during a hostage situation, if
      > you see an unattended bag and in case of a bomb alert, as well as the generic
      > advice in case of fire, and what to focus on when calling for an ambulance.

      The thing to do in most of these cases is the same as you'd do anywhere else.
      Apart from the unattended bags, bombs and shit, just ignore them since Warsaw's
      not really worth bombing. Same goes for the hostages and shooting. Poland's not
      that exciting.
      Buses in Silesia have got posters stuck up on them warning that there may be
      thieves on the bus and that this is how to spot them.
      For Poles this is proof that behind every tree in Poland lurks a murderer, you
      can't trust anyone, and foreigners should be extra careful here.
      For foreigners this is proof of how naive Poles are - you have to inform them
      in writing of the existence of pickpockets.
      How to really be safe in Warsaw?
      There's that big market beside the station. There's a stall where you can buy T-
      shirts with shit like "White Power!" written on them, run by the only whitey
      there. Ignore that stall, you can get the same stuff cheaper off the
      Vietnamese, including T-shirts, scarves and baseball caps with "Łowca Goroli"
      on them. Buy these and strut about Warsaw at any time of night looking insanely
      confident, and you're perfectly safe.
      This only works if you're big, though.
      • kylie1 Re: Be safe in Warsaw 19.09.05, 05:45
        >Apart from the unattended bags, bombs and shit, just ignore them since
        Warsaw's
        not really worth bombing. Same goes for the hostages and shooting. Poland's not
        that exciting.


        Why would you say that,ianek? What, do you think, makes other places "more
        exciting" to kill?

        smile
      • usenetposts Re: Be safe in Warsaw 25.09.05, 15:20
        ianek70 napisał:

        > The thing to do in most of these cases is the same as you'd do anywhere else.
        > Apart from the unattended bags, bombs and shit, just ignore them since
        Warsaw's
        >
        > not really worth bombing. Same goes for the hostages and shooting. Poland's
        not
        >
        > that exciting.

        On the contrary, Poland has always been the nemesis of the Islamic world's
        pretensions to Europe, firstly by absorbing and diffusing the fury of the Tatar
        horde and stopping their westward advance at Legnica, then by kicking the
        Ottoman out of Austria under Jan 3 Sobieski, and now for the hat-trick the
        weight of Poland is likely to put paid to Turkey's hopes of joining the
        European Union, and Poland is doing what it can to refocus Europe's attention
        on Slavic countries such as the Ukraine and Belarus instead.

        Poles are actually one of the nations who can stand up well to Arabs, Turks and
        other Islamics, as they are just as in-ya-face as they are, only not maniacs.
        Most of the Islamics would like to make Poland step down a peg or two, but the
        reason they haven't done it so far is that they only have 0.3% of the
        population here, whereas in the UK it is 2.7%, in France 5%, etc, making Poland
        the lowest Muslim population in Europe, even beating would you believe the
        Baltic states, owing to the fact that they all have post-Soviet central Asian
        muslims stuck in them for historical reasons.

        These figures I memorised from a recent copy of Newstweak Polish Edition, which
        was lying around in the gym I go to for a few weeks on the windowsill, so I got
        to read it in between "series" quite a number of times, before it got
        superseded by some anodyne weight lifting magazine.


        > Buses in Silesia have got posters stuck up on them warning that there may be
        > thieves on the bus and that this is how to spot them.
        > For Poles this is proof that behind every tree in Poland lurks a murderer,
        you
        > can't trust anyone, and foreigners should be extra careful here.
        > For foreigners this is proof of how naive Poles are - you have to inform them
        > in writing of the existence of pickpockets.

        I saw exactly the same notice stuck up in Marylebone station this week, but
        then again every Englishman knows that's only there to help the foreign
        visitors.

        > How to really be safe in Warsaw?
        > There's that big market beside the station. There's a stall where you can buy
        T
        > -
        > shirts with shit like "White Power!" written on them, run by the only whitey
        > there. Ignore that stall, you can get the same stuff cheaper off the
        > Vietnamese, including T-shirts, scarves and baseball caps with "Łowca Goroli"
        > on them. Buy these and strut about Warsaw at any time of night looking
        insanely
        >
        > confident, and you're perfectly safe.
        > This only works if you're big, though.

        Well, personally, I'm big enough to feel perfectly safe in Warsaw in a Versace
        Suit, Boss tie and Christian Dior glasses, and carrying the latest laptop, but
        it isn't about what keeps you and me safe, it's about what keeps the person
        safe who isn't a big man, but deserves to feel safe and be safe anyway.
        • ianek70 Re: Be safe in Warsaw 25.09.05, 18:50
          usenetposts napisał:

          > ianek70 napisał:
          >
          > On the contrary, Poland has always been the nemesis of the Islamic world's
          > pretensions to Europe, firstly by absorbing and diffusing the fury of the
          Tatar
          >
          > horde and stopping their westward advance at Legnica,
          Call me an ignomaramus, but all I know about Legnica is that it was founded by
          Celts and named after the great god Lug, worshipped not only by Asterix, but
          also by my grandparents. So Christians and Slavs have got bugger all business
          being there, no matter what horde's fury they happen to be diffusing.

          > Most of the Islamics would like to make Poland step down a peg or two,
          I'm not saying Warsaw shouldn't be bombed, I'm just saying it's too much
          hassle, and there are lots of far better targets in Europe.

          > I saw exactly the same notice stuck up in Marylebone station this week, but
          > then again every Englishman knows that's only there to help the foreign
          > visitors.
          And your average Londoner knows why there are no bins in stations (or have they
          started putting bins back?).

          > Well, personally, I'm big enough to feel perfectly safe in Warsaw in a
          Versace
          > Suit, Boss tie and Christian Dior glasses, and carrying the latest laptop,
          Well, obviously if you look like a gangster nobody's going to touch you.

          > it isn't about what keeps you and me safe, it's about what keeps the person
          > safe who isn't a big man, but deserves to feel safe and be safe anyway.
          But statistically you're ten times safer in Warsaw than in Glasgow anyway, so
          why don't they put that on their leaflets?
          • usenetposts Re: Be safe in Warsaw 25.09.05, 23:28
            ianek70 napisał:

            > usenetposts napisał:
            >
            > > ianek70 napisał:
            > >
            > > On the contrary, Poland has always been the nemesis of the Islamic world'
            > s
            > > pretensions to Europe, firstly by absorbing and diffusing the fury of the
            >
            > Tatar
            > >
            > > horde and stopping their westward advance at Legnica,
            > Call me an ignomaramus, but all I know about Legnica is that it was founded
            by
            > Celts and named after the great god Lug, worshipped not only by Asterix, but
            > also by my grandparents. So Christians and Slavs have got bugger all business
            > being there, no matter what horde's fury they happen to be diffusing.

            To go to Legnica, all you need is legs.

            And if you haven't got legs, a lego set will do.


            >
            > > Most of the Islamics would like to make Poland step down a peg or two,
            > I'm not saying Warsaw shouldn't be bombed, I'm just saying it's too much
            > hassle, and there are lots of far better targets in Europe.

            That's what the poet lorryate John Betchaman said, when inviting Islamic
            terrorists to bomb Slough.

            Now that would be an own goal if ever there was one.

            >
            > > I saw exactly the same notice stuck up in Marylebone station this week, b
            > ut
            > > then again every Englishman knows that's only there to help the foreign
            > > visitors.
            > And your average Londoner knows why there are no bins in stations (or have
            they
            >
            > started putting bins back?).

            London only puts the bins back in antithrombins, subinspectors and Heath-
            Robinson, matey.


            >
            > > Well, personally, I'm big enough to feel perfectly safe in Warsaw in a
            > Versace
            > > Suit, Boss tie and Christian Dior glasses, and carrying the latest laptop
            > ,
            > Well, obviously if you look like a gangster nobody's going to touch you.

            There is that.

            >
            > > it isn't about what keeps you and me safe, it's about what keeps the pers
            > on
            > > safe who isn't a big man, but deserves to feel safe and be safe anyway.
            > But statistically you're ten times safer in Warsaw than in Glasgow anyway, so
            > why don't they put that on their leaflets?

            You may be ten times less likely to get nutted, but there's more to
            international crimean activity and terrarism than getting nutted. You don't
            even need money laundering for it, to name one obvious shortcoming.
        • kylie1 Re: Be safe in Warsaw 26.09.05, 06:24
          >Well, personally, I'm big enough to feel perfectly safe in Warsaw in a Versace
          Suit, Boss tie and Christian Dior glasses, and carrying the latest laptop.

          I wear Wal-Mart jeans, glasses from a dollar store and a plastic watch from K-
          Mart!
          Will I be all right?....

          smile
          • usenetposts Re: Be safe in Warsaw 26.09.05, 15:35

            kylie1 napisała:

            > >Well, personally, I'm big enough to feel perfectly safe in Warsaw in a Ver
            > sace
            > Suit, Boss tie and Christian Dior glasses, and carrying the latest laptop.
            >
            > I wear Wal-Mart jeans, glasses from a dollar store and a plastic watch from K-
            > Mart!
            > Will I be all right?....
            >
            > smile


            I'm tempted to say that would depend on how old you are, how tall you are, what
            you weigh and how often you bathe, but that might not be gentlemanly.

            Basically the number of minutes you could walk around on average without being
            attacked, for an adult female, is predictable by the formula a*b*c*d*e, where a
            is age, b is BMI, c is the number of days since your last wash, d is how far,
            on a scale of 1 to 10, you look as though you might take the matter
            successfully to the police, for whatever reason, and e is, on a scale of 1-10
            how devoid of anything to rob you look.

            Hence a 20 year old with a BMI of 20 who was clean and looked as though they
            were too stoned to noticed and had dollar notes polking out of your pockets
            would probably not last the night, whereas a 65 year old with a BMI of 35 who
            hadn't washed for a week but who looked like a retired but broke barrister
            could probably walk around the dangerous parts of town of an evening for many
            years, if not a lifetime, before anything untoward happened.

            I'm having that formula peer reviewed by a team of top mathematicians one day.
            • kylie1 Re: Be safe in Warsaw 27.09.05, 02:13
              > I'm tempted to say that would depend on how old you are, how tall you are,
              what you weigh and how often you bathe, but that might not be gentlemanly.

              Yes,it wouldn't be, Uncle Davey! smile

              However, women my age (and I am way past 20) do not walk at night either.In
              fact I don't know of ANY women (young or old) that choose to walk ANYWHERE at
              night. You are in and out of the car most of the time and walking is NEVER an
              option. If you need to hop on a bus, have someone wait with you until the bus
              comes. Take a cab if you have no one else to pick you up. You can't ever be too
              careful.

              OK, in any case, going by what you said, if I am 20 and dumb enough to walk at
              night by myself, carry on like this for 45 minutes, easy on the eyes, showered
              and splashed with Guy Laroche,carrying a sizable purse,I think getting attacked
              would probably cross my mind more than once. You would be inviting trouble here
              and anywhere else in the world, but by using a little bit of common sense, you
              just won't be there to walk at night in the first place. Hellooo women!!!!!!
              (Young or old!)

              So here's my formula if you get yourself in the "not so smart" position:
              All you need is a stink bomb and a bottle of pepper spray. A stink bomb is
              guaranteed to mask your "Fidji" perfume, will make you smell like a possum in
              heat and it will guarantee to make you assailant-free within a 10 yard radius
              (at least). With the perpetrators noses shriveled up from the putrid smell and
              eyes closed from pain causing temporary blindness, you will be all right.

              Interesting formula, Uncle Davey! smile

              Kylie

              > I'm having that formula peer reviewed by a team of top mathematicians one day.




              Thugs over here are more interested in what you drive and not so much what you
              look like. Even at that, they manage to break into cars that look like a bucket
              of bolts looking for small change.
              • ianek70 Re: Be safe in Warsaw 28.09.05, 18:46
                kylie1 napisała:

                > However, women my age (and I am way past 20) do not walk at night either.In
                > fact I don't know of ANY women (young or old) that choose to walk ANYWHERE at
                > night

                Life's hard everywhere, but the main danger in Poland is that if you tell them
                that, they'll bore you to death trying to prove that in Poland it's even
                harder. Tell Poles how street-wise you have to be in your home town, quote the
                murder rate per 10,000 inhabitants (they like statistics) and describe the ten
                best fights you saw during your last fortnight visiting your mum, and they'll
                say "Hmm, yes, well, someone got punched in Poznan last week. It was on the
                telly."
                Tell them that as many cars get stolen in Scotland as in Poland, and in
                Scotland there's only 5 million people, they tell you that can't be true, cos
                here there's always car thefts in the papers. "If it's so common, why do they
                bother putting it in the papers?" you ask. "Ah, well, last week someone got
                punched in Poznan," they reply.
                The natural instinct is to beat them senseless with a large piece of copper
                piping, but you know if you did they'd just say, "You see how dangerous it is
                here?" and you'd have to do it again.
                • nicolas1981 Re: Be safe in Warsaw 29.09.05, 10:30
                  i m leaving in Poland since 3 years and I never had problems
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