can somebody explain to me

10.01.06, 16:26
what IS cricket all about? smile

(btw. all the best to you all in 2006) smile
    • ianek70 Re: can somebody explain to me 10.01.06, 16:57
      missus.c napisała:

      > what IS cricket all about? smile

      Yes, all English, Indian, Australian, Jamaican, Pakistani and Zimbabwean people
      can explain all the mysteries of cricket, with diagrams, statistics and clever
      idioms.
      Unfortunately, for those of us who are not English, Indian, Australian, etc.,
      these explanations are completely meaningless. Basically, there's a ball, some
      people run about for three days, everyone applauds and then they shake hands
      and toss a coin to decide who's won. Then the ones with white jumpers get
      photographed by newspaper journalists who complain the next day about national
      pride.
      I think they might be masons.
      • missus.c Re: can somebody explain to me 10.01.06, 17:07
        oh dear! i didn't know about the mason theory!
        Can you be hindu and still be a mason?
        Personally I find it funny how the British (allegedly) taught it to all their
        friends in the commonwealth and now alwyas get beaten by themsmile Ok, so last
        year they won, right?
        But what IS cricket? A wicket and all that and those funny pads on their legs
        and innings and outings and why does it go on for dayyyyys?!
        • ianek70 Re: can somebody explain to me 10.01.06, 17:40
          missus.c napisała:

          > But what IS cricket? A wicket and all that and those funny pads on their legs
          > and innings and outings and why does it go on for dayyyyys?!

          You see? The weird rituals, the bizarre incomprehensible rules and the odd leg-
          wear? It must be masonic.
          There's no female or Catholic cricket teams...
          • usenetposts Re: can somebody explain to me 10.01.06, 21:53
            ianek70 napisał:

            > missus.c napisała:
            >
            > > But what IS cricket? A wicket and all that and those funny pads on their
            > legs
            > > and innings and outings and why does it go on for dayyyyys?!
            >
            > You see? The weird rituals, the bizarre incomprehensible rules and the odd
            leg-
            > wear? It must be masonic.

            If only they weren't allowed to talk about it . . .
            • missus.c Re: can somebody explain to me 11.01.06, 12:10
              I am still waiting for a legit explaination guys! Come on - make an effort at
              least! smile
            • ianek70 Re: can somebody explain to me 11.01.06, 13:12
              usenetposts napisał:

              > If only they weren't allowed to talk about it . . .

              But they are allowed to talk about it, and they're even encouraged to waffle on
              about it endlessly, they're just not allowed to explain clearly what the point
              of it is.
              Just like in the masons.
              "Is it true you roll up your your trouser legs?"
              "Yes, we do give a lot of money to charity."
              "Are the masons a secret society?"
              "Well, I'm not a mason, but if I was I would admit it, so that proves we're not
              a secret society."

              Exactly like cricket. Including the homoeroticism.
              • missus.c Re: can somebody explain to me 11.01.06, 13:26
                I like that music they used to have at the begginging of the cricket programme
                on the BBC smile
                • ianek70 Re: can somebody explain to me 11.01.06, 13:31
                  missus.c napisała:

                  > I like that music they used to have at the begginging of the cricket
                  programme
                  > on the BBC smile

                  Hum it for us, it'll create a crickety atmosphere smile
                  • missus.c Re: can somebody explain to me 11.01.06, 13:35
                    you cannot hum steel drums smile
                    • usenetposts Re: can somebody explain to me 11.01.06, 23:07
                      missus.c napisała:

                      > you cannot hum steel drums smile

                      Heh heh. I liked that wry observation.
                      • missus.c Re: can somebody explain to me 12.01.06, 11:29
                        smile))

                        Ok. So NOBODY knows sad Shame....
                    • ianek70 Re: can somebody explain to me 12.01.06, 12:27
                      missus.c napisała:

                      > you cannot hum steel drums smile

                      So whistle it.
                      Or go "dang da-dang". That's how we imitate steel drums where I come from smile
                      • missus.c Re: can somebody explain to me 12.01.06, 12:31
                        Ian,
                        You must know that as the net is a non-verbal means of communication, any of
                        my 'la la's' and 'dang-dang's' will not sound the same to you as they do to mesmile

                        Maybe I'll find the tune on the net and post it?smile Although I have no clue who
                        wrote it or played itsmile
                        • missus.c 'Soul Limbo' Booker T and the MG's 12.01.06, 13:46
                          apparently that is the name of this 'dang dang, la la" cricket themesmile
      • missus.c Re: can somebody explain to me 14.01.06, 15:38
        miasta.gazeta.pl/warszawa/1,34862,3113170.html
        Sąd Ostateczny w księgarni Antyk

        Janusz Korczak był masonem. Generał Tokarzewski był masonem. Antoni Słonimski
        był masonem. A każdy mason to sługa szatana - dowiedziałem się wczoraj na
        wykładzie pt. "Masoneria w dzisiejszej Polsce". Prelegentem był dr. Stanisław
        Krajski, a wykład odbył się w księgarni Antyk w podziemiach kościoła Wszystkich
        Świętych


        Maybe we should have gone? Maybe someone there would explain cricket to mesmile)))
    • missus.c Re: can somebody explain to me 13.01.06, 15:24
      another onesmile

      Who killed Robert Maxwell?
      • russh Re: can somebody explain to me 13.01.06, 15:39
        It wasn't me, honestly.


        www.mirror.co.uk/news/allnews/page.cfm?objectid=12419168&method=full&siteid=50143
        • missus.c Re: can somebody explain to me 13.01.06, 16:39
          I'm not how much of that story I believe. Especially the part about the Cold
          War comeback and the US taking control of Russia in such a way.
          Although it seems so silly it may well be truesmile

          When he died, I remember thinking, what's the big deal with this bloke and was
          he SO important that the media went on and on about it.
          • russh Re: can somebody explain to me 13.01.06, 16:42
            He did have a lot of connections, and was a big media personality.

            Then we all found out about the missing money. No wonder that the story hung on
            for so long.
    • waldek1610 Re: can somebody explain to me 14.01.06, 06:34
      missus.c napisała:

      > what IS cricket all about? smile
      >
      > (btw. all the best to you all in 2006) smile

      It is just another sport played exclusivelly in Great Britain and its former
      collonies. Does anybody plays Cricet in Russia or Brasil???
      • russh Re: can somebody explain to me 14.01.06, 12:48
        Eternally boring, both Waldek and Cricket.

        The only difference is that the social summer Sunday afternoons on the village
        green, drinking beer and socialising, that go with cricket are fantastic.
        • missus.c Re: can somebody explain to me 14.01.06, 12:57
          So I guess you have to go to a cricket game and get into it, in order to
          understand.
          • russh Re: can somebody explain to me 14.01.06, 13:27
            I don't think you necessarily need to understand it to enjoy the atmosphere,
            although it really is a simple game (to understand).

            Get out on a fine summers afernoon, find yourself a village that has a large
            green, is playing at home, and you'll see.
            • missus.c Re: can somebody explain to me 14.01.06, 13:57
              Will try to do sosmile However if I knew the rules I wouldn't feel like a lemonsmile
              • piotr9980 Re: can somebody explain to me 15.01.06, 00:59
                I'm a player of cricket and willing to explain something.
                cricket is the game of gentlemen (at least english believes)
                there are two kind of cricket matches
                one day match - obviously it takes one day,two innings,each inning would have
                50 hours game.
                test cricket match - it takes five days,but sometimes result can be declared
                before fifth day,due to poor performance of one team.mostly test matches are
                boring for those who never played crciekt.
                1.each cricket team consists of 11 players
                2.there would be 2 ampire during match on the ground,third ampire would be
                sitting infront of computers.
                ----------------------------------------
                bowler - person who will throw the ball towards the batsman
                batsman - person who hits the ball
                fielders - 10 players who are ready to run after ball
                wicketkeeper - man behind the stumps
                ----------------------------------------
                Its hard for me to explain about this game on forum,but I can learn you that
                how to play cricket on ground within one week covering all basic rules of the
                game.

                PS I am a right hand batsman and right arm fast bowler
                • ms.jones Re: can somebody explain to me 15.01.06, 02:08
                  On which planet is the day long enough to play a 'one day match' for 50 hours?
                  Your boredom threshold has to be well above average to watch it for five
                  minutes (no offence to cricketers).

                  The rules are simple smile
                  wemadeoutinatreeandthisoldguysatandwatchedus.com/view.php?id=119
                  Explanation of how to play Cricket

                  You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.

                  Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes
                  in and the next man goes in until he's out.

                  When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been
                  in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out.

                  Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

                  When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and
                  when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in.

                  There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they
                  decide when the men who are in are out.

                  When both sides have been in and all the men have out, and both sides have
                  been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not
                  out, that is the end of the game!"
                  • russh Re: can somebody explain to me 15.01.06, 08:00
                    Superb!
                • kylie1 Re: can somebody explain to me 15.01.06, 08:55
                  >cricket is the game of gentlemen

                  Would burping and belching be frowned upon? What if a player is caught passing
                  gas?
                  Just wondering...

                  smile
                  • missus.c Re: can somebody explain to me 15.01.06, 12:44
                    kyliesmile) I guess the playing field is too big for anyone to noticesmile

                    Thank you for you help all!
                    • kylie1 Re: can somebody explain to me 15.01.06, 21:07
                      Oh, you are very welcome, missus. It's always nice to bring something new to
                      this forum.

                      PS.
                      >I guess the playing field is too big for anyone to noticesmile

                      I think you are right. In that case, you don't have to act like a gentleman and
                      you will still be considered one. I need to think about it some more...
    • piotr9980 Re: can somebody explain to me 15.01.06, 16:01
      I was trying to explain,but I did not know that other posters are just some
      retarded women who will response in stupid way.
      FF
      • usenetposts That's quite enough, thank you. 15.01.06, 16:07
        You've overstepped the mark, sonny.
        • russh Re: That's quite enough, thank you. 15.01.06, 20:41
          Now that's not like you Dave.

          What is it all about?
          • usenetposts Re: That's quite enough, thank you. 16.01.06, 10:11
            Just practicing, Russ.

            Just testing the software.

            I've put his post back, now.
      • russh Hey Piotr - Learn some manners, and quickly. 16.01.06, 10:40
        Retarded is a fairly damming insult you know, and if it not (an insult), then
        it's even worse. Have you a retarded person in your family? I have.

        In the UK, cricket is a gentlemanly game. I don't think you should be playing it.



      • ms.jones Re: Hey Piotr - Learn some manners, and quickly. 16.01.06, 16:56
        If you go to Britain Express site - the UK travel and heritage guide - click on
        history then culture, and under pastimes you'll find 'cricket' with its history
        and, shock horror, the offending rules. They are accompanied by the following:

        Editor's note: The humorous piece of seeming nonsense above really does
        describe the game of cricket perfectly.

        I guess they were written by some cricketers with a sense of humour. It takes
        all sorts to make the world, I wouldn't dream of accusing you of being one of
        them.

      • kylie1 Re: can somebody explain to me 16.01.06, 21:46
        Sorry for offending you so much, Piotr. I might have a rather off beat sense of
        humor at times but I am well familiar with golf ettiquette myself. Believe it
        or not those questions pop up quite often. I have seen people belch and pass
        wind on golf courses. If it's a semi private or public course, you can get away
        with that. If you are on a private one, you might get fined or you get a strike
        against you and you will not feel welcome next time. Have you heard of a guy
        that passed wind that blew sand out of the bunker? Serious stuff.The golf
        course charged him to replace the sand. Someone like you wouldn't know that
        because you probably know as much about golf as you do about the game of
        cricket.

        In case you wanted to know.
        • usenetposts Re: can somebody explain to me 17.01.06, 11:00
          There's an important golf match in progress, they're playing for club trophy,
          it's the final match between two old gents and suddenly funereal music is
          heard ... have I told this one?

          One of the players takes his hat off and stops playing for two minutes as the
          funeral procession passes on the road near by. The other player aftersays "I
          found that very touching, the respect you showed back there for that deceased
          person".

          "Well, I felt I should do something. After all, we were man and wife for forty
          three years".
          • ianek70 Golf terminology 18.01.06, 12:49
            People who play golf ("golfers" I believe they call themselves nowadays)
            probably know this, but lay people, like myself (and also the heroine of the
            famous chemistry teacher joke) may not.
            an "Adolf Hitler" is when you take two shots in a bunker
            an "Arthur Scargill" is a really great strike, but with a poor result
            They might have got as far as "B", but it's a slow game...

            For those who don't know who Scargill is/was, try:
            en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Orgreave
    • ampolion Cricket rules 19.01.06, 04:35
      news.bbc.co.uk/sportacademy/bsp/hi/cricket/rules/html/default.stm
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