please, help me...:(

15.03.06, 19:19
I'm 19, I study at English Teacher Training College in Warsaw (first year).
At the end of the academic year I sit the practical exam which consists of 4
parts-writing,listening, reading and speaking.
The problem is that I feel I may do rather badly - esp as far as speaking is
concerned.
That's what happened today (at Oral skills lesson):
I was to read an article from Newsweek and then report it in front of the
group. I've read it many times to make sure I understand the main points (the
topic was rather difficult - about the economy, waht should be done to make
business and nations more competitive, creative economy, service economy
etc). I've taken notes, I've underlined key sentences and so on. I felt I was
well prepared. However - when I was to speak, I don't know...sad I've
forgotten everything, while speaking I've missed one point..i've got stressed
out..for a while i was silent. The teacher asked me a question to help me,
but I was so stressed that I couldn't continue, all my papers with notes were
mixed, i couldn't find the right one...i felt terrible...But I managed to
finish my "speech". When i sat i just couldn't think of anything, I was
shaking..i was at the piont of tears...I think nobady noticed this but, after
some time, I couldn't enture the strain and started to weep. I didn't wanted
to look at my friends. I felt really really bad. oh, I had to leave tha
classroom, everyone was staring at me...I don't want to think of it any
more...sad And I can't imagine tomorrow's day.

Anyway, I'm very emotional. I care what people say about me, I hate speaking
in front of the class, I'm very sensitive. but, sth like this has never
happened to me before. OK, it has happened, but not in class. I know, I have
to work on it. Sometimes (today especially) I think how I can be a teacher
with such personality. Am I on the right place?
That's one problem. Anothr problem is my English. Sometimes I feel that I
have too poor vocabulary and that i make mistakes i shouldn't at this level.
Oh, I'd forgotten...this article was to be read by another person. As you
can guess he has done it perfectly. he didn't have any notes, and what he
said was compact and clear..I.."what am i doing here?"..
I have problems with expressing my thoughts, not only in English, but also in
Polish. When i'm stressed i tends to speak too fast and nobody can understand
me...I'm afraid of talking, in English especially, i'm afraid of making
mistakes. I know it's ridiculous. All of these (i'm not good enough, i make
stupid mistakes, i have poor vocabulary, i am not suitable for being a
teacher, i ...) makes me ...[i can't think of any word]

But I have to pass the exam...that;s why i need to talk in Enlish, as much as
possible. If i speak a lot, i will be more self-confident, and if i'm more
self-confident, situation like today's will not happen again (I hope) So, I'd
like to ask you, if you could devote only 1 h a week to talk with me (using
skype)? For you - it's nothing, just talking. but for me
    • usenetposts Re: please, help me...:( 15.03.06, 19:50
      OK, I will try and help you. Get in contact with me privately.
      • varsovian Re: please, help me...:( 16.03.06, 10:47
        Knight in shining armour riding to the rescue of a damsel in distress!
        What a chivalrous gent.

        Joking aside, there's nothing quite like a young lady asking for help is
        there? I found myself (on Monday this week) devoting a couple of hours to
        helping a female student (who works with me part time) with her English MA
        paper. Would I have done that for a man? Hmmm.
        Still, my kids got a few chocolates out of the whole exercise.
        • korek1000 Re: please, help me...:( 16.03.06, 11:08
          Kamila,
          Talk, talk, talk and talk to reduce your stress. Good Luck.
          • kamila.wil Re: please, help me...:( 16.03.06, 21:53
            thanks a lot smile I know I need to talk, I will try to break through my fear smile

        • usenetposts Re: please, help me...:( 18.03.06, 13:46
          varsovian napisał:

          > Knight in shining armour riding to the rescue of a damsel in distress!
          > What a chivalrous gent.
          >
          > Joking aside, there's nothing quite like a young lady asking for help is
          > there? I found myself (on Monday this week) devoting a couple of hours to
          > helping a female student (who works with me part time) with her English MA
          > paper. Would I have done that for a man? Hmmm.
          > Still, my kids got a few chocolates out of the whole exercise.

          When I was a young learner people did help me, which is why from time to time I
          try to give that back.

          I can think of Marina Buck, the Russian wife of a London banker, who gave me
          free conversation in Russian as well as opening my eyes to a whole series of
          topics and who probably taught me more than several of my schoolteachers.

          I can think of several others who helped me along the way, without any interest
          in it for themselves, and the best thing I can do is pass that on now and
          again. They wouldn't have done it for someone who was uninterested or had no
          talent, they were interested in developing someone who had clearly made they
          own effort to do what they could on their own but still needed someone to
          converse with. And that's the same here.
          • russh Re: please, help me...:( 18.03.06, 14:06
            I very much feel the same. I've had a few 'students' who obviously have had a
            great will to learn English, and have just as obviously not had the, or
            struggled to find. the cash to pay me. It was a pleasure to give the odd free
            lesson, or 2 hours instead one.

            You get out of this world what you put into it, my dear departed Mum used to
            say. So true.
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