any aussies here?

15.03.06, 23:34
Australian IT Glossary

LOG ON: Adding wood to make the barbie hotter.
LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the barbie.
MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the barbie.
DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the ute.
HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies.
KEYBOARD: Where you hang the ute keys.
WINDOW: What you shut when the weather's cold.
SCREEN: What you shut in the mozzie season.
BYTE: What mozzies do.
MEGABYTE: What Townsville mozzies do.
CHIP: A bar snack.
MICROCHIP: What's left in the bag after you've eaten the chips.
MODEM: What you did to the lawns.
LAPTOP: Where the cat sleeps.
SOFTWARE: Plastic knives & forks you get at Red Rooster.
HARDWARE: Stainless steel knives & forks - from K-Mart.
MOUSE: The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.
MAINFRAME: What holds the shed up.
WEB: What spiders make.
WEBSITE: Usually in the shed or under the verandah.
SEARCH ENGINE: What you do when the ute won't go.
CURSOR: What you say when the ute won't go.
YAHOO: What you say when the ute does go.
UPGRADE: A steep hill.
SERVER: The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
MAIL SERVER: The bloke at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
USER: The neighbor who keeps's borrowing things.
NETWORK: What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.
INTERNET: Where you want the fish to go.
NETSCAPE: What the fish do when they discover the hole in the net.
ONLINE: Where you hang the washing.
OFFLINE: Where the washing ends up when the pegs aren't strong enough.
    • ql Re: any aussies here? 16.03.06, 00:44
      ROTFL!!! smile
    • usenetposts Re: any aussies here? 18.03.06, 14:10
      Very good, let's see if I can think of a couple more

      MOTHER BOARD - Yer maa wants to go out
      ESCAPE KEY - The key to the cellar that's stopping her from going out
      FUNCTION KEY - key to the outside toilet
      BACK SPACE - The yard behind the house
      SPACE BAR - the roomier of the two pubs in town
      @ SIGN - What you write so people know you mean the use of an expletive.
      UNIX - Not my underwear
      SERIAL PORT - That town on "Home and Away"
      HIGH LEVEL LANGUAGE - Talking like Harold Bishop off neighbours
      C++ - Kylie Minogue
      FLOPPY - absence of blue pills
      WiFi - A bit pongy after a hard day's slog.
      HOTSPOT - That bit of the verandah that doesn't get and shade off the trees all
      day long.
      MENU BAR - pub with food in it
      TOOL BAR - pub where they'll give you a drink in exchange for doing an odd job.

      any more, anyone?
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