John Cleese: Deklaracja rewolucji w USA

14.05.05, 21:12
John Cleese ogłosił anulowanie niepodległości USA.
Stąd wprowadzone są w byłym USA nowe reguły. :)
Najciekawsze z nich:


www.stephaniemiller.com/declarationofrevocation.htm

To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
...
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium." Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'; skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters.
...
6. You should stop playing American "football." There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game.

The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.

Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies).

We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2005.

You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America.
...
9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap, and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
..
14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent.
    • i-love-2-bike Re: John Cleese: Deklaracja rewolucji w USA 14.05.05, 21:13
      ministerstwo dziwnych krokow ma racje,to jest super facet:))
      • meerkat1 Meerkat Deklaracja Polucji w U.K. 15.05.05, 07:53
        Dear John!

        1.In view of the fact that you keep reelecting a clearly pro-American premier
        whom most of you hate, we declare you henceforth United Kingdom of Masochists.

        2. Out of American politness we will not comment on the bunch of Nazi clowns by
        the name Koburg-Gotha whom you keep as your monarchs for the sake of tourists
        claiming that their true name is that of one of their castles (Windsor).

        3. We will no longer allow you to use a proper musical term <faggot> to
        describe "queers" such as yourself.

        4.We, however, in our Revolutionary generosity, shall not forbid you to use
        British cars, since there aren't any other than American, Japanese or...Iranian.

        5. Your upper classes will still be allowed to keep butlers, chauffeurs and
        gardeners in order to prevent your biological demise.

        6. Homosexualism at Harrow, Eton and other fine public schools will be made
        public, whereas in private schools it shall not be made private, for lower
        classes of your "empire" don't seem to be attracted to private parts of the
        same sex.

        7.Out of our sympathy for the OLD Monty Python we shall officially prohibit any
        HETEROsexual from joing this group, thus asuring its further existence.

    • mosiek.crappus jeszcze trochę o badłajzie (amerykanskim "piwie") 14.05.05, 21:14
      12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling "beer" is not actually beer at all, it is lager . From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer," and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager." The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine." This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in the Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.
    • mosiek.crappus Anulacji, a nie rewolucji - wada wzroku... :) 14.05.05, 21:15
      • marouder MPFC 14.05.05, 22:20
        Latajacy Cyrk juz dawno powinien byl wkroczyc w sprawy zbuntownych kolonii..oj
        sie bedzie dzialo:)))
    • abe_ltd najwyzszy czas! :DDDDD 14.05.05, 23:14
      Dzieci z attention deficit disorder juz sie pobawily w panstwo i demokracje, a
      teraz czas im lapki umyc (z krwi i innych nieczystosci) i poslac spac.
    • mars_99 Re: John Cleese: Deklaracja rewolucji w USA 15.05.05, 13:04
      Ueesej jest gleboko podzielone ~50/50 na zwolennikow Debiljarstwa
      z naklejkami na ich ropozernych SUV 'Support our troops'
      oraz ..swiatlą i madra reszte -glownie ludzie wyksztalceni
      z duza wiedza wstydzacy sie przed reszta swiata ze maja Buraka-macho
      za el presidente oraz ze neokonstwa nimi rzadzi..

      Co gorsza te 2 grupy wcale juz NIE rozmawiaja i NIE dyskutuja ze soba.
    • mosiek.crappus Re: John Cleese: Deklaracja rewolucji w USA 15.05.05, 21:00
      Teraz sie pojawily wątpliwości, czy to on napisał.
      www.snopes.com/politics/satire/revocation.asp
      • meerkat1 Podobnie jak z Koranem 15.05.05, 22:05
        mosiek.crappus napisała:

        > Teraz sie pojawily wątpliwości, czy to on napisał.
        > www.snopes.com/politics/satire/revocation.asp


        No, Newsweek tez juz wycofal sie z twierdzen, ze w Gunatanamo spuszczano Koran
        z woda w klopie.

        P.S. John Cleese powienien zaskarzyc autorow tej glupiej falszywki.
        Nie dlatego ze glupia, ale dlatego, ze rujnuje jego opinie (KASA) jako
        czlowieka naprawde dowcipnego! :-(((

        Ale w miedzyczasie LUDZIE ZGINELI!!!!! :-((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

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