Tuwim translation - work in progress

08.06.05, 18:19
Alphabet dropped from the oven
And smashed into the ground,
Dotted to the corners
Awfully beaten up:

I – is missing a dot,
H – has busted a bridge,
B – now with compacted tummies,
A – just sprained its legs,
O – like balloon exploded
as so a P got scared,
L – a hoop right onto a U,
T – has lost its crown,
R – a right foot broken,
S – got straighten up,
W – standing bottom up
dreaming it’s an M.

Abecadło z pieca spadło,
O ziemię się hukło,
Rozsypało się po kątach,
Strasznie się potłukło:
I
    • jan.kulczyk Re: Tuwim translation - work in progress 08.06.05, 21:12
      > suggestions welcomed

      Suggestions WELCOME.

      (for starters... ;))
    • ms.jones Re: Tuwim translation - work in progress 08.06.05, 21:53
      very helpfull, Jan ;)

      The alphabet came off the wall by accident
      It crushed to the floor
      bits scattered everywhere (could say letters I suppose)
      it got terribly sore

      I-was missing the dot

      btw 'dot' does't rhyme with 'bridge'
      done my bit now :)
      • ms.jones helpfuL nt 08.06.05, 21:59
        • asdf401 Re: helpfuL nt 08.06.05, 22:19
          The alphabet came off the wall by accident
          It crushed to the floor
          bits scattered everywhere
          it got terribly sore:
          I – was missing a dot,
          H – has busted a bridge,
          B – now with compacted tummies,
          A – just sprained its legs,
          O – like balloon exploded
          as so a P got scared,
          L – a hoop right onto a U,
          T – has lost its crown,
          R – a right foot broken,
          S – got straighten up,
          W – standing bottom up
          dreaming it’s an M.

          Abecadło z pieca spadło,
          O ziemię się hukło,
          Rozsypało się po kątach,
          Strasznie się potłukło:
          I
    • ms.jones Re: Tuwim translation - work in progress 08.06.05, 22:51
      I - was missing the dot
      H - broke in half, a terrible lot
      B - broke its back when it fell
      A - fractured the ankle as well
      O - popped like a burst ballon
      scared P thought it would follow soon
      T - lost the crossbar and wouldn't talk
      L - jumped on U and started to rock
      S - ended up quite straight
      R - broke a leg and was faint
      W - landed on its head
      and pretended to be M instead
      • ms.jones balloOn nt :( 08.06.05, 23:01
      • aga.p.p Re: Tuwim translation - work in progress 08.06.05, 23:14
        Me like it!:) Własne?

        Anyway, here's mine (beginning only):

        The ABC fell off the well
        It smashed right to the ground
        How much it hurts we just can't tell
        But this is what we've found

        pzdr,
        Aga
      • ms.jones z ostatniej chwili: R - crushed three ribs nt 08.06.05, 23:52
        • asdf401 Alphabet 09.06.05, 01:30
          The alphabet came off the wall by accident
          It crushed to the floor
          bits scattered everywhere
          it got terribly sore:
          I - was missing the dot
          H - broke in half, a terrible lot
          B - broke its back when it fell
          A - fractured the ankle as well
          O - popped like a burst ballon
          scared P thought it would follow soon
          T - lost the crossbar and wouldn't talk
          L - jumped on U and started to rock
          S - ended up quite straight
          R - crushed three ribs
          W - landed on its head
          and pretended to be M instead
          • asdf401 Re: Alphabet 09.06.05, 01:41
            I like it, too.
            :)
      • axxolotl Re: Tuwim translation - work in progress 09.06.05, 06:21
        Wow, ms.jones.
        And yes, that's all for my input into ABCs :)
        Me and poetry don't get along.
        • asdf401 Re: Tuwim translation - work in progress 09.06.05, 14:54
          Here is another great translation of Tuwim. I copied it from this web site:
          oldpoetry.com/author/Julian%20Tuwim

          A big locomotive has pulled into town,
          Heavy, humungus, with sweat rolling down,
          A plump jumbo olive.
          Huffing and puffing and panting and smelly,
          Fire belches forth from her fat cast iron belly.

          Poof, how she's burning,
          Oof, how she's boiling,
          Puff, how she's churning,
          Huff, how she's toiling.
          She's fully exhausted and all out of breath,
          Yet the coalman continues to stoke her to death.

          Numerous wagons she tugs down the track:
          Iron and steel monsters hitched up to her back,
          All filled with people and other things too:
          The first carries cattle, then horses not few;
          The third car with corpulent people is filled,
          Eating fat frankfurters all freshly grilled.
          The fourth car is packed to the hilt with bananas,
          The fifth has a cargo of six grand pi-an-as.
          The sixth wagon carries a cannon of steel,
          With heavy iron girders beneath every wheel.
          The seventh has tables, oak cupboards with plates,
          While an elephant, bear, two giraffes fill the eighth.
          The ninth contains nothing but well-fattened swine,
          In the tenth: bags and boxes, now isn't that fine?

          There must be at least forty cars in a row,
          And what they all carry
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