Can anybody make this forum less boring

[namonik]

Almost on the daily basis I jump here to check for something worth talking.
To my disappointment I can't find anything even remotely exciting.
Forget any serious subject. Too heavy. But at least something funny.
Please.

[awalk]

namonik napisał:

> Almost on the daily basis I jump here to check for something worth talking.
> To my disappointment I can't find anything even remotely exciting.
> Forget any serious subject. Too heavy. But at least something funny.
> Please.

Well, why don't you start something funny?

[namonik]

awalk napisał:

> Well, why don't you start something funny?

I have no sense of humor. Help me out.

[Gość: awalk]

namonik napisał:

> awalk napisał:
>
> > Well, why don't you start something funny?
>
> I have no sense of humor. Help me out.

Sorry, there is no cure for that.

[Gość: chickenShorts]

namonik napisał:

> awalk napisał:
>
> > Well, why don't you start something funny?
>
> I have no sense of humor. Help me out.<


Start with sense and we work from there...

Men pretend orgasm

[Gość: great pretender]

New temat

Did any men out there ever pretend an orgasm?

great pretender

[namonik]

[saqqara]

interesting point of you.. it's not funny, believe me...

[butter_fly]

Is namonik lost for
- words?
- sense
- humour?

[namonik]

butter_fly napisała:

> Is namonik lost for
> - words? Words I have aplenty
> - sense (?) That'll be chickenshorts
> - humour? YES, I told you so.

My request of making this forum less boring was perfectly legitimate and not
offensive. If it didn't make any sense then I am sorry and I wonder what would
make sense. I stand by my comment that chickenshorts is an asshole.
All I see here is how to translate this or that. There was one about korki z
angla. I've gotta shoot myself in the head.
Have fun somewhere else.

hey, rev

[Gość: erwas]

why don't you take a flying fuck at a rolling donut...
...why don't you take a flying fuck at the moooon...

(Kurt Vonnegut)

[Gość: namonik]

Gość portalu: erwas napisał(a):

>
> why don't you take a flying fuck at a rolling donut...
> ...why don't you take a flying fuck at the moooon...
>
> (Kurt Vonnegut)

How do I know you didn't make it up?
On the other hand I don't give a flying one.

Ich bin ein berliner=I am a donut
Ich bin berliner= I am a berliner
(JFK)

[Gość: erwas]

Gość portalu: namonik napisał(a):

> Gość portalu: erwas napisał(a):
>
> >
> > why don't you take a flying fuck at a rolling donut...
> > ...why don't you take a flying fuck at the moooon...
> >
> > (Kurt Vonnegut)
>
> How do I know you didn't make it up?
> On the other hand I don't give a flying one.
>
> Ich bin ein berliner=I am a donut
> Ich bin berliner= I am a berliner
> (JFK)

Poland is (like) a donut, (...).

(Pilsudski)

[butter_fly]

namonik napisał:
>
> > Is namonik lost for
> > - words? Words I have aplenty ==> dismissed - lack of evidence
> > - sense (?) That'll be chickenshorts ==> dismissed - lack of evidence
> > - humour? YES, I told you so. ===> approved - consequently namonik dismissed
>
>

[Gość: MonkeyPie]

Erwas, you have a reputation for being a bitter asshole but not for being
stupid. I'm surprised that you would even entertain "great pretender" with a
response to his incredibly dumb question concerning the male orgasm. Let him
stand alone in his regard for faking orgasms, he is obviously a veteran at
doing so, with or without a companion. Just wanted to give you a heads up.

[Gość: erwas]

Gość portalu: MonkeyPie napisał(a):

I'm surprised that you would even entertain "great pretender" with a
> response to his incredibly dumb question

...but...I entertain YOU...
...and who is dumber than you?

[Gość: dd]

WOW! This is definitely the most interesting forum i've ever been on. Not!
20 people and nothing to talk about. No comments.

chances are...

[butter_fly]

that those 20 (judging from the frequency) are terribly busy elsewhere doing
some good things of some (hopefully)great importance. They might be dropping in
just to unwind a bit, which, I gather, isn't too bad. Now, to change that you
dd could come up with something that would capture their attention... Or you
couldn't?

regards
butterfly

Gość portalu: dd napisał(a):

> WOW! This is definitely the most interesting forum i've ever been on. Not!
> 20 people and nothing to talk about. No comments.

[Gość: pretender]

so did any men pretened an orgasm or not? my colleague did once because he was
bored (that is wat he said)

[Gość: chickenShorts]

Gość portalu: pretender napisał(a):

> so did any men pretened an orgasm or not? my colleague did once because he
was
> bored (that is wat he said)<


But which one, anal or penile induced?... orgasm, I mean, not the friend...
(seeing you here straight after the 'asshole' bit, makes me wonder...)

[Gość: great pretender]

just normal penile(?!)

[Gość: ewas]

Gość portalu: pretender napisał(a):

> so did any men pretened an orgasm or not? my colleague did once because he
was
> bored (that is wat he said)

was he alone at the time?

[Gość: great pretender]

of course not. Why pretend an orgasm on your own

[Gość: erwas]

Gość portalu: great pretender napisał(a):

> of course not. Why pretend an orgasm on your own

who can say that this forum is not a rippin' site, eh? we are poised at the
edge of momentous discovery here. why pretend an orgasm on your own? in the
same class as one hand clapping, unwitnessed, in some lonely samosiejka,
somewhere.
but just to be linear, sequential, analytical, and left-hemispheric about this
issue, let's find an anwser to this question.

why pretend an orgasm on your own:

1. you have never yet had an orgasm, but you don't want you to know about it.
2. you have a headache, just want to go to sleep.
3. you ejaclate prematurely each time, and your cupped hand never gets to
have any fun.
4. less mess.
5. you lie to yourself about everything else, why draw the line here.
6. practicing for when you have to public.
7. you are not called the great pretender for nothing.

[Gość: chickenShorts]

erwas, you are my master...

a koan solved!
sound of one hand clapping? > wankers' paradise!

[Gość: erwas]

Gość portalu: chickenShorts napisał(a):

> erwas, you are my master...
>
> a koan solved!
> sound of one hand clapping? > wankers' paradise!

ah, yes.
thanks for noticing. and now I clearly see that this is an all-purpose off-
brain 2xkoan, with alchemical ref.s and heading for inclusion in New Tarot
Pack, what with it's loaded and powerful items of Magick symbology, and by
sleight of word, slipped in almost unnoticed, a faint implication of Polish Neo-
Paganism, but not necessarily the Samoobrona-skin type, of course.

not sure about the sufiwaffle at the end, and I clearly skipped Kundalini,
didn't I. always try to be oikoumenecal, though.
erwas

[Gość: funguy]

what makes you laugh? DOn't answer: jokes, sounds,
travel, movie, dance, drink in the bar, evening walk. Do
you really want it?

HOW TO SURVIVE A BORING DATE

[_helga]

It doesn't matter if you were setup with a scary monster or if he's the hottest
guy ever, it will soon be obvious that you'll need other things to keep you
entertained that evening. That is why I bring you a small list of things to
keep you less bored during the date from hell.

1. Bring a picture of a much hotter mucho than the one you're out with and
place it on the table occasionally holding it over his face pretending that's
who you're on your date with. You may be just dreaming, but at least it will
make things more fun.

2. This might seem rude at first but just keep repeating the phrase "Tetris is
life" over and over and I'm sure he'll get the idea.

3. Not quite sure how this will make your date less boring but I'm sure it
can't hurt. Perhaps sabotaging his food while he's in the bathroom might be
good enough or at least make a nice mashed potato sculpture to surprise him
when he gets back.

4. Just keep ordering lots and lots of pancakes and proceed to pile them one on
top of the other. Then leave to go to the bathroom before the date is over and
fail to return meaning he'll have to pay for all your pancake fun.

[buzi1]

Let's go f#*#in mental!How about that?

[chickenshorts]

OK, ladies first!

[buzi1]

Hey body! What do you mean 'ladies first'? Guys are likely to be as
adventurous as women.Let's go crazy and do something unusual!

Not boring I hope...

[munde]

LOUD SEX:
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor.
every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out
this ear splitting yell." "My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely
natural. I don't see what the problem is." The problem is," she complained, "It
wakes me up!"

QUIET SEX:
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked
his wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me
when you have an orgasm?" She glanced at him casually and
replied, "You're never home!"

CONFOUNDED SEX
A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled
and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine
could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover
the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would
be $3,500 for "small, $6,500 for "medium, $14,000 for "large." The man was sure
he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with
his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and
explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man
looking dejected. Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor.
The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen".

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding
anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that
reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'." Yeah," she replies, "When you die,
I'm getting you a headstone reads: Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"

WOMEN'S HUMOR
My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said, "This
will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom,
I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.

A couple is lying in bed.. The man says, "I am going to make you
the happiest woman in the world." The woman says..... "I'll miss you

[Gość: buzi]

Let's make up some gossips! Linda is a poofta. Pazura is a drug queen! How
come some directors still cast them? They do low budget movies but anyway!

[glory]

O NO!! FUCK ME DEATH!
Please!!
Linda is a poof! That can not be.!
Where is my toilet?
Im gonna pooke.

[Gość: namonik]

Now I know. Eureka. Finally I've got it.
In order to make this forum less boring one has to
masturbate while typing.
Oops! I am right-handed. Sticky. Goddamnit, not again.
Sorry. I'll be back. dkjdfhow wlkJW KIJW

SKNZ
Z
X
SFLKEWmnlf..............................................
.....

[glory]

Since Pazura is a drug queen Im gonna have a good wank always before watching
him on Tv.
And I'm also getting more and more into womens clothing. Shit! What's
happening to me? Ihave got my wife's g-strings on me!
CEZARY-PLEASE HELP ME!

[Gość: namonik]

I'm not into a g-strings, but.........
I take stockings and garter belt over a hose any day.
How about high heels? I can't walk in them.

[glory]

High hills - o yeah-please I love it!

[Gość: namonik]

A soulmate and a solemate.

[glory]

Yes I'm your soulmate ! Forever!

[glory]

Namonik - Darling where are You ?.

Car Accident

[afffa]

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one..

Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them
are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man.
That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's
nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we
should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of
our
days".

Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this
must be a sign from God!"

The woman continued, "and look at this, here's another miracle. My car
is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God
wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in
agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the
woman.

The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and
hands
it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police....."

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Women are clever, evil bitches. Don't mess with them

[brookie]

Nice try! But the rest of the competitors must have gone to hell with their
ideas.

[Gość: chickenShorts]

Accident by AFFA &
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are clever, evil bitches. Don't mess with them<

And then you often hear: Smart women – avoid 'em like the plague! Dumb and
pretty works better...

Then again, you may hear that the variance in women's intelligence is
extremely small. All women are about the same intelligence wise (right about at
the population mean/average that is). While men's IQ differ enormously! from
really dumb to really smart!

And apparently it can be explained in terms of biology... For instance - the
greater variance in male intelligence is similar to the greater variance in
most male traits versus female traits. The reason has to do with the greater
variance in reproductive success between the sexes. Females generally have as
many children as they can physically have and so have very small reproductive
variance. Males on the other hand could have 100 or zero children. The
determining factor is male-male competition and female choice.

Consequently, a male has more to gain by developing any sexual trait to its
fullest. Females on the otherhand play it safe and develop what they need and
no more. There is some evidence that intelligence development is dependent upon
the individual's ability to deal with environmental stressed during ontogeny.
Those individuals who cope best with developmental stresses can divert more
energy into brain development...


Hey Men!!! where are you? really dumb? or really smart?

Who's first? Ready for a test? Dr chickenShorts' test?!?

Warning: I can smell a bearded woman for a mile!