Bush, Rumsfeld and Powell are sitting in a bar

[Gość: zbig]

President Bush, Donald Rumsfeld and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar.

A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush, Rumsfeld
and Powell sitting over there?"

The barman says, "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real
honor. What are you guys doing in here?"

Bush says, "We're planning WW III ".

And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 24 million
Iraqis this time and one blonde sex-bomb with big tits.

The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits? Why kill a
blonde with big tits?

Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and
says, "See, smart ass, I told you no one would worry
about the 24 million Iraqis!"

Rumsfeld (waking up):"Bomb? Whom I have to bomb?"

New brain

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A young retarded came to the doctor:
Doctor I would like to get a new brain.
Would you transplanted me suitable one.

OK, answered the doctor, we have full assortment.
Here is the Russian brain - it costs $10000,
here is the Polish one - it costs $100000
and here is the brain of American - it costs $1000000.

A million bucks, why? - exclaimed the pacient.

It's brand-new, completely unused answered the doctor.

[Gość: ewa]

dobre! i prawdziwe....

Twenty executives board an airplane

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Twenty executives board an airplane and are told that the flight that they are
about to take is the first-ever to feature pilotless technology. It is an un-
crewed aircraft. Each one of the CEOs is then told, privately, that their
company's software is running the aircraft's automatic pilot system.

Nineteen of the CEOs promptly leave the aircraft, each offering a different
type of excuse. One American CEO alone remains on board the jet, seeming very
calm indeed.

Asked why he is so confident in this first un-crewed flight, he replies: "If
it's the same software that runs my company's IT systems, this plane won't even
take off.

[glory]

Your jokes didn't take off either.

[Gość: zbig]

Are you sure?

forum.gazeta.pl/forum/72,2.html?f=517&w=4879354&a=4971978

[glory]

Deja Vu!??

SMART IRAQI

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The Train... An Iraqi guy, An American guy, a beautiful girl and
an old woman are sitting in a train. The train suddenly goes thru a tunnel
and .. it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a
slap! The train comes out of the tunnel.

The old woman, beautiful girl and the Iraqi guy are sitting there looking
perplexed. The American guy is bent over holding his face which is red from an
apparent slap.

The old woman is thinking : That American guy must have tried to kiss that girl
and got slapped.

The American guy is thinking (it is a pretty rare phenomenon, though): Damn it
that Iraqi guy must have tried to kiss the beautiful girl, she thought it was
me and slapped me instead.

The beautiful girl is thinking: That American guy must have moved to kiss me,
but kissed the old lady instead and got slapped.

The Iraqi is thinking: If this train goes throug another tunnel, I could make
another kissing sound and slap that American guy again.

Colin Powell and Donald Rumsfeld go on a camp

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Colin Powell and Donald Rumsfeld go on a camping trip to relax and unwind in
the Iraqi desert after the war. They find a nice spot up on a hill and decide
to camp the night there. In the middle of the night , Powell asks
Rumsfeld, "tell me Donald, what do you deduce from the sky above....?"
Rumsfeld, thinking Powell is testing his analytical abilities replies, " I see
millions of stars, separated by millions of light years, and if there are
millions of stars then there must be planet too, and if there are planets, then
there might just be alien life out there." Rumsfeld thinking, he impressed
Powell, asks , "what do you think Colin?"
Powell replies," I think you're an idiot, cause someone STOLE OUR TENT."

Tragedy

[Gość: zbig]

forum.gazeta.pl/forum/72,2.html?f=13&w=5720731

G.W.Bush's brain description.

[Gość: Palnick]

On the right there is nothing right.
On the left there is nothing left.

One engine left or happy Easter !

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Bush took Rumsfeld and Powell for the short Easter holiday in Nebrasca.

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Washington to Lincoln, the captain of Air
Force One announced, "ladies and gentlemen, one of our engine has failed. There
is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled,
but we still have three engines left"

Twenty minutes later the captain announced "one more engine has failed and the
flight will take an additional two hours. But dont worry...we can fly just fine
on two engines"

An hour later the captain announced "one more engine has failed and our arrival
will be delayed another three hours. But dont worry we still have one engine
left"

Bush turned to Rumsfeld and Powell sitting in the comfortable seats behind the
table with the Polish Easter decoration in the middle of it and remarked "if we
lose one more engine we will be up here until the Easter-Monday!"

Powell, Rumsfeld and Bush at the Pearly Gates

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As the result of the previous adventure, Powell, Rumsfeld and Bush wound up
together at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have
to answer one question.

St. Peter addressed Rumsfeld and asked, "What was the name of the country you
had attacked in 2003?" Rumsfeld answered quickly, "Iraq." St. Peter let him
through the gate.

St. Peter turned to Powell and decided to make the question a little
harder, "How many innocent women and children died then?" "About 1,000."
answered Powell, "at least officially." "That's possibly you may believe this!
You may enter."

St. Peter then turned to Bush. "Name them."

[Gość: Pablo]

I loughed only once when I read all thats above - and that was glory's comment.

Give yourself a break - they are all really old and not funny enough to
justify your time typing them in.