proszę os prawdzenie mojej rozprawki

06.01.07, 21:11
cześć :)
proszę o sprawdzenie mojej pracy :) i poprawienie błędów
dzięki za pomoc :) ;)

Nowadays a lot of animals live in zoos. Is it right or wrong to keep them
there. I will thy to show some pros and cons of this phenomenon.

There is no denying that zoos have number of advantages. First of all, zoos
have special programmes to breed endangered spaces. Thanks that people,
especially children, can see live threatened beautiful exotic animals.
Secondly beasts have good living conditions in zoos. They do not starve
because they have plenty of food and water, specially trained vets take care
of them and protection from poachers and hunters is assured. For that reason
animals live longer than in the wild. What is more, the living conditions in
zoos are improving. Beasts live as close to the natural habitat as possible.
For instance, water and other natural barriers are used to separate animals
from each other and from the visitors.

On the other hand, animals are forced to live in an unnatural environment.
There is not enough living space in zoos. It causes that, bests are often
unhappy and restless. It is also true that, some animals do not breed in
zoos. Furthermore, they all depend on people and they can not do things in
their natural way. For example hunt or chase a prey. Moreover, the worst
thing is that animals living in zoos can never be released into the wild
because they would not survive.

In conclusion, it seems that keeping wild animals in zoos have as many pros
as cons. The decision what it means for people depends on their personal
choice.

;)
dzięki za pomoc:)
pozdrawiam ;)
Matka Chrzestna 8)
    • hayden Re: proszę os prawdzenie mojej rozprawki 06.01.07, 22:38
      Witaj,

      Ja bym to napisał tak (wszystkie zmiany DUŻYMI LITERAMI):

      Nowadays, a lot of animals live in zoos. Is it right or wrong to keep them
      there? I will tRy to PRESENT some pros and cons of this phenomenon.
      There is no denying that zoos have A number of advantages. First of all, THEY
      have special programmes to breed endangered spEcIes. Thanks TO that people,
      especially children, can see ENDANGERED beautiful exotic animals.
      Secondly, beasts have good living conditions in zoos. They do not starve
      because they have plenty of food and water. Specially trained vets take care
      of them and protection from poachers and hunters is PROVIDED. For that reason,
      animals live longer THERE than in the wild. What is more, the living conditions in zoos are improving. Beasts live as close to the natural habitat as possible. For instance, water and other natural barriers are used to separate animals from each other and from the visitors.
      On the other hand, animals are forced to live in an unnatural environment.
      There is not enough living space in zoos, WHICH OFTEN MAKES ANIMALS unhappy and restless. It is also true that some animals do not PROLIFERATE in zoos. Furthermore, they all depend on people and they cannot do things in their natural way. For example, INSTEAD OF chasING a prey THEY ARE GIVEN FOOD. AND the worst thing is that animals living in zoos can never be released into the wild because they would not survive.
      In conclusion, it seems that keeping wild animals in zoos have as many pros
      as cons. The decision WHETHER IT IS JUSTIFIED OR NOT depends on personal OPINION.

      ;) Pozdrawiam,

      hayden
    • kicior99 Re: proszę os prawdzenie mojej rozprawki 06.01.07, 23:05
      Tak na szybko:
      endangered spaces - chyba species?
      especially children, can see live threatened beautiful exotic animals - polski
      szyk
      specially trained vets take care of them and protection from poachers and
      hunters is assured - styl, badz konsekwentna i trzymaj sie jednej strony.
      Wychodzi pseudoerudycyjnie
      live longer than in the wild. dalbym bardziej idiomatycznie at large
      Secondly - to oze poprawnie ale jak sucho...
      What is more - to styl mowiony. W pismie raczej moreover
      Beasts live as close to the natural habitat - nie do konca rozumiem, albo sie
      zyje w danym srodowisku, albo nie?
      Pierwszy i ostatni akapit zawieraja pros and cons. Nie lepiej zamienic jedno
      np. for and against, virtues and vices, good and bad sides...
      • matka_chrzestna troche zmieniłam :) ! czy moze być? 07.01.07, 00:13
        dziękuję za pomoc :)
        trochę zmieniłam :)
        czy może być tak? mi się wydaje że teraz jest lepiej niz na początku, ale moze
        są jeszcze jakieś błędy ?:)

        Nowadays, a lot of animals live in zoos. Is it right or wrong to keep them
        there? I will try to present some pros and cons of this phenomenon.

        There is no denying that zoos have a number of advantages. First of all, they
        have special programmes to breed endangered species. Thanks to this people,
        especially children, can see threatened, beautiful, exotic animals alive.
        Secondly, beasts have good living conditions in zoos. They do not starve
        because they have plenty of food and water, specially trained vets take care
        of them and protect from poachers and hunters is provided. For that reason,
        animals live longer there than in the wild. Moreover, the living conditions in
        zoos are improving. Beasts live as close to the natural habitat as possible.
        For instance, water and other natural barriers are used to separate animals
        from each other and from the visitors.

        On the other hand, animals are forced to live in an unnatural environment.
        There is not enough living space in zoos, which often makes animals unhappy and
        restless. It is also true that, some animals do not proliferate in zoos.
        Furthermore, they all depend on people and they can not do things in their
        natural way. For example, instead of chasing a prey they are given food. And
        the worst thing is that animals living in zoos can never be released into the
        wild because they would not survive.

        In conclusion, it seems that keeping wild animals in zoos has as many for as
        against. The decision whether it is justified or not depends on personal
        opinion.

        i co? ;)
        • kicior99 Re: troche zmieniłam :) ! czy moze być? 07.01.07, 14:18
          jest fajnie. Jeszcze w III paragrafie popraw drugie "animals" na "them"
          (powtorzenie, 3 razy kolo siebie) i mozesz oddawac :)
        • kicior99 a ja sie troche pobawie :) 07.01.07, 14:49
          i postaram sie wprowadzic w pierwsza czesc troche plynnosci.

          At present, a lot of animals live in zoos. Should we keep them in this jail or
          liberate them? I shall try to point out some advantages and disadvantages of
          these animal prisons.

          It goes without saying that zoos are quite reasonable places. They are next to
          none as far as breeding of endangered species is concerned. As a consequence we
          can see, as well as show our children , threatened, beautiful, exotic animals
          as they are.
          Further on, wild animals meet quite good conditions in zoos. they don't need to
          starve, because they are properly fed, looked after by the specially trained
          staff, besides, they seem to be well protected from poachers and hunters. As an
          immediate result, they live longer in zoos than at large. Last but not least,
          zoos seem to tend to improve the living conditions of animals, trying to close
          their environment to their natural habitat. To introduce this, the zoo
          authorities use natural barriers as e.g. water to separate animals both drom
          each other and from the visitors.

          moze byc?
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