British humour... snotty play of words. BORING!

[polska_potega_swiatowa]

Whenever I hear Shakespeare (ethimology; shake spare tire???) play
or listen to some other English-American theatre production on
National Public Radio (in US), I get a sensation of irritation
bordering on bordom.

It's simply all snutty talk, as British humour and jokes are all
play of words. Just as if you were listening to some egoistic ultra
smart ar.se or grouch converse with someone or often himself.

On the other hand Polish humour is all situational, polish jokes all
have some basic plot, and unexpected, ironic outcome, usually some
wry black humour that will crack you up... more often then simple
play of words.

I mean when I want to be entertained, I want to laught at somebody,
anything... right!? And NOT being attacked or offended by some
groutch by the most annoying battery of words. Each Brit should come
with a remote control..:)

OK, I'll stop talking before I will start sounding British.. :)

[Gość: Steve]

No problem sounding British, but could you recommend these brilliant Polish
programmes? I accept most British comedy (and TV in general) is boring, but so
is Polish.

I set three conditions for your recommendation to counter your complaint: the
writer hasn't been dead for hundreds of years, they aren't actually Russian (or
US) rather than Polish and they aren't those awful Polish language versions of
British comedy series (Niania, the series based on Alo, Alo, etc). I think that
leaves Świat Według Kiepskich on TV at the moment: great, world class! M Jak
Miłość and other soaps are often hilarious, I know, but they aren't supposed to
be. Oh, and please don't mention those old films and series that are shown
almost once a week on the various broadcast and several satellite channels.
Every Polish person already knows the dialogue so well that they say it before
the actors speak and laugh at the jokes before they themselves say the lines.
Freaky!

By the way, sarcasm, rather than pun is the lowest form of wit.

[polska_potega_swiatowa]

Gość portalu: Steve napisał(a):

> No problem sounding British, but could you recommend these
> brilliant Polish programmes? I accept most British comedy (and TV
> in general) is boring, but so is Polish.

I was not refering to television programes or popular TV series,
rather I was speaking about the British as opposed to Polish humour
in general.

I mean one prefers to converse or listen to someone that is
enjoyable to converse with. Protestant people I knew all have this
sort of short temper, tend to be reserved and conceited.

> By the way, sarcasm, rather than pun is the lowest form of wit.

Exactly what I was saying, British humour ridicules others, by
mocking their way of living or way of speaking. Polish and other
slavic humours are mostly laughing at ourselves and peoples
conceitness.

[glasscraft]

polska_potega_swiatowa napisał:

> Protestant people I knew all have this sort of short temper
, tend to be reserved and conceited.

One protestant person of Polish origin thinks: one can have either
short temper or be reserved...


> Polish and other slavic humours are mostly laughing at ourselves
and peoples conceitness.

Absolutely, after all we Poles do not have any jokes about meetings
of guys from Poland, Russia and Germany... and - obviously - we do
find it amusing how stupid Russians and Germans usually sound and
behave in these jokes...

[polska_potega_swiatowa]

You are still missing my point, all I suggested is that Poles and
other Slavic people in their humour laugh at others sure, but they
are not trying to sound oh "SO SOOO incrediblly smart" as British
people trying to sound!!

[glasscraft]

polska_potega_swiatowa napisał:

> You are still missing my point...

I must be :-)....

[polska_potega_swiatowa]

glasscraft napisała:

> I must be :-)....


...not reding the whole sentence :)

[glasscraft]

Aye, nae bother lad, you obviously know better...

[polska_potega_swiatowa]

is it so hard for you to admit someone else is right?...

[glasscraft]

No lad, you just carry on...

You know what they say in their boring snotty-play-of words way:
Ne'er gang til the deil wi a dishcloot on yer heid.

[Gość: Steve]

Sorry that I did not understand you.

Some of what you say is very true. There is a very strong element of British humour that depends on people insulting each other directly. This can be very nasty, as in school bullying, or it can be amongst good friends who compete to see who can be most imaginative in saying bad things about each other. I can't think of many occasions when people have competed to be funnily nice to each other apart from some inter-sex (or gay) chat ups. If you find this sort of humour boring, fair enough: its your taste that matters.

My Polish isn't good enough to judge properly, but swapping insults face to face - funny or otherwise - seems to go against the standard code of Polish behaviour. On the other hand, the constant stream of Polish jokes about stupid blondes, thick peasants, drunk manual workers, Russians and Germans, etc does not seem to be a matter of laughing at oneself. Insulting classes of people is worse than insulting individuals, surely. "Don't call me Shirley!" (Sorry, a pun, but my Polish wife often says this, so it must be OK.)

However, I'm a bit worried that one of your complaints is that British humour is clever ie ultra smart ar.se/incredibly smart. Isn't that a compliment?

[polska_potega_swiatowa]

Gość portalu: Steve napisał(a):

> However, I'm a bit worried that one of your complaints is that
> British humour is clever ie ultra smart ar.se/incredibly smart.
> Isn't that a compliment?

Ha ha, actually I was originaly going to write; that British humour
is a "smart a.s.s." but instead I used expression "so so incredlby
smart" because I wanted to prevent my post from being deleted or
censored for using obscene lanugage :)

I would not consider being smart arse as a good humour, rather the
lack of self confidence; eg; attacking others as a way of drawing
attention away from your own flaws and shortcommings...

I do not care about political correctness, all national groups
whould be respected and ridiculed equaly, just as both sexes, as
well as all races, regardless whether they were victims or offenders
in the past.

[jeanie_mccake]

Have you ever actually been to Britain, or are you just talking out
your arse as usual?

[polska_potega_swiatowa]

Jadzka ty sie lepiej nie odzywaj, lepiej powiedz jak tam u was w
Starych Niemyjach, droge podprowadzili juz pod gospode czy jeszcze
nie?

[jeanie_mccake]

I assume that by gibbering inanely instead of answering my question
you're admitting that you've never been to Britain.

[polska_potega_swiatowa]

jeanie_mccake napisała:

> I assume that by gibbering inanely instead of answering my
> question you're admitting that you've never been to Britain.

What do you mean by "inanely"?
Conversation is about expressing ones opinions and answering each
other questions, and not only when some conceited Polish village
lady who happend to emigrate to UK, is asking question and the other
person only answers her questions.

[jeanie_mccake]

polska_potega_swiatowa napisał:

> Conversation is about expressing ones opinions and answering each
> other questions

OK, so if you've never been to Britain how come you're such an
expert on British folk's sense of humour?

[Gość: Steve]

It seems to be a quotation or Old Polish proverb, which is difficult to translate. I have had to guess the meaning of the ending. However, it may mean: "When travelling, it is better not to speak. It is better to reply as if you were one of the people of Old Mute (or Unwashed): the road they have taken leads up to the pub or haven't you been there yet?"

Stare Niemyje is a Polish village, whose name translates as either Mute or Unwashed, which may be one of those dreadful too-clever puns.

[jeanie_mccake]

But as an answer to a straightforward yes/no question it still
qualifies as inane gibbering.

[polska_potega_swiatowa]

jeanie_mccake napisała:

> But as an answer to a straightforward yes/no question it still
> qualifies as inane gibbering.


I think you are not as dumb as you seem, therefore you should be
able to come up with some new line.

[jeanie_mccake]

polska_potega_swiatowa napisał:

> I think you are not as dumb as you seem, therefore you should be
> able to come up with some new line.

But unfortunately you are as dumb as you seem so I'm not going to
waste my time.

[polska_potega_swiatowa]

too late for that, you just admited been reading and following each
my post for many years, as you said. I must be very inspiring for
you ;)

[jeanie_mccake]

I didn't say I'd been following your posts carefully, just that
you've been wasting your time writing them, unless for some odd
reason you've been intentionally trying to make an arse of yourself.

[polska_potega_swiatowa]

Gość portalu: Steve napisał(a):

> It seems to be a quotation or Old Polish proverb, which is
> difficult to translate. I have had to guess the meaning of the
> ending. However, it may mean: "When travelling, it is better not
> to speak. It is better to reply as if you were one of the people
> of Old Mute (or Unwashed): the road they have taken leads up to
> the pub or haven't you been there yet?"

Which explains why Jadzka from Stare Niemyje is posing as Jennie
McCake from London...It may work in British Isles, but in Poland (on
Polish internet) it is considered a sign of ones inferiority
complex, eg; our friend "Jennie" has adopted new identity and smart
ars.e attitude, because she is ashamed of her Polish background.

> Stare Niemyje is a Polish village, whose name translates as either
> Mute or Unwashed, which may be one of those dreadful too-clever
> puns.


Actually it is just coincidence, still funny though :)

[jonathan.oakley]

what about Wallace & Gromitt?!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9OxJ0QepAU&feature=SeriesPlayList&p=70BE847613D4B3B6&index=4

and...Mr Bean?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jquWO-0VkII

[polska_potega_swiatowa]

jonathan.oakley napisał:

> what about Wallace & Gromitt?!!

I meant "British humour" as in the sense of humour of British
people, or lack of thereof, I was not refering to popular TV
characters...


>
> www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9OxJ0QepAU&feature=SeriesPlayList&p=70BE847613D4B3B6&index=4
>
> and...Mr Bean?


Well, my point exactly they Mr Bean or Benny Hill are funny because
they do not say much in their programes. they just act funny, well
actually they just act British, I guess its all the same :)
> www.youtube.com/watch?v=jquWO-0VkII

[seth.destructor]

Boring? What about the drill in the Polish army?

You know, as far as I know Emglish people, whatever joke they say,
nobody is really offended. The English humour is always present,
ready to show off. Puns are very popular, so are the cryptic
crosswords.

In meantime in Poland whatever you say, always you find hundreds of
people offended. Poles haven't got the sense of humour. They are so
serious and sober and looking for being a victim of whatever to show
off their misery and martyrology of nation...

[Gość: shrimp biscuit]

polska_potega_swiatowa napisał:

> Whenever I hear Shakespeare (ethimology; shake spare tire???) play
> or listen to some other English-American theatre production on
> National Public Radio (in US), I get a sensation of irritation
> bordering on bordom.

I'm not surprised, with your grasp of English. Or maybe you're
expecting more slapstick and visual humour from a radio play?

[polska_potega_swiatowa]

Gość portalu: shrimp biscuit napisał(a):

> I'm not surprised, with your grasp of English. Or maybe you're
> expecting more slapstick and visual humour from a radio play?

No, actually it is just pure boring, the lowest form of comedy when
some conceited arse is making long monologue with nothing but
arrogance and self congratulation, but I guess this is actually the
description of Britishness...

Besides, if British person knowlege of Polish language or whatever
foreign language was equal to my knowlege of english, he or she
would be a British ambasador or foreign diplomat...

Actually most Britsh folks who consider themselves a fluent foreign
language speakers know maximum of 500 words in foreign tounge, but
they feel as if they understood foreign langueage, since the locals
speak english, and there's no need for such a "genius" Brit to speak
a foreign lanugage at all. So he peppers his english with some words
in foreign tounge out of his vanity, that's the reality.

[Gość: shrimp biscuit]

> Besides, if British person knowlege of Polish language or whatever
> foreign language was equal to my knowlege of english, he or she
> would be a British ambasador or foreign diplomat...
>
> Actually most Britsh folks who consider themselves a fluent
foreign
> language speakers know maximum of 500 words in foreign tounge, but
> they feel as if they understood foreign langueage, since the
locals
> speak english, and there's no need for such a "genius" Brit to
speak
> a foreign lanugage at all. So he peppers his english with some
words
> in foreign tounge out of his vanity, that's the reality.

How do you know, if you've never been to Britain? And what makes you
think your English is so great anyway? Apparently you live in
America, so if you want to boast about your language skills you
should get one of your neighbours to proof-read your waffling
monologues before you post them.

[polska_potega_swiatowa]

Gość portalu: shrimp biscuit napisał(a):

> How do you know, if you've never been to Britain? And what makes
> you think your English is so great anyway? Apparently you live in
> America, so if you want to boast about your language skills you
> should get one of your neighbours to proof-read your waffling
> monologues before you post them.

Actually inteligent Anglo-Saxons are very sparsely populated, and
hard to find. Most of may all American neigbours can not tell the
Great Britain from Iceland, they would not be able to even write a
half inteligent comment, unless it rerered to sports or
celebrities...

It might suprise you but in my college english literature or speech
class (yes, in the USA) out of some 25 students I was one of three
top students who got an A grade. One polish guy myself got an A, one
Korean-American, and only one American born got an A grade...

Actually, average among all americans (Anglo-Saxon) students was C
grade. Our professor even joked that, how come she sees American
born students can not shut up not only during breaks but also during
a class, but when they are asked to the stand they have nothing to
say, why? Because they are just stupid, street smart maybe,
repeating same 500 words, over and over usually speaking about
eating, pooping, sleeping, mateing, sports, trivia or celebrities,
that's all.

Average American or Brit knows nothing about science, technology,
culture, or the world that surrounds them...they are just empty
conceited arses with a empty vanity.

[glasscraft]

polska_potega_swiatowa napisał:

> Average American or Brit knows nothing about science, technology,
culture, or the world that surrounds them...they are just empty
conceited arses with a empty vanity.

Lad, I feel terribly sorry for you (unless you are a masochist, in
that case I don't and you need professional help and possibly some
tablets, strong ones)... Why do you still live in such a country,
surrounded by morons that are not worthy your attention?! Go back to
the Land of Wisdom, Intelligence, Funny Jokes (that's obviously not
GB or any foreign country - just in case you need explanation, we do
understand that your genius brain might have deteriorated after
spending too much time with sub humans of American origin); … and
please go quickly and stay there or just shut up, for God sake,
because now you are boring everybody in a very non Anglo-Saxon
way!!!

[polska_potega_swiatowa]

glasscraft napisała:

> Why do you still live in such a country, surrounded by morons that
> are not worthy your attention?! Go back to the Land of Wisdom,
> Intelligence, Funny Jokes (that's obviously not GB or any foreign
> country.
> please go quickly and stay there or just shut up, for God sake,

Yeah sure, as if your so called "Great" Britain was not populated
with large Arab and African population which cares nothing for what
Britishness or British culture is. Your island is just a land, which
culture or ethnic makeup can be changed easly, as Northern America
changed between 17th and 20th century. People who live in a given
land decide what culture they want to live by, and UK as well as
France are well on a way to become a Arab-African majority states in
Europe.


> please go quickly and stay there or just shut up, for God sake,
> because now you are boring everybody in a very non Anglo-Saxon
> way!!!

Who cares about the Anglo-Saxon way, this is Polish website, which
is dedicated to english language, not english culture. In a same way
that many Middle Eastern or Asian people use english language
communicating their Asian and Arab ideas, far from British way of
thinking. Yes, we speak english on "Ask an Englishman" but it is not
British site, but Polish one, so if in Rome, do as Romans do.

You should be able that polish people here write in english so you
could understand, otherwise you would be helples and would not
understand a thing.

correction:

[polska_potega_swiatowa]

You should be GREATEFUL that polish people here write in English so
you could understand, otherwise you would be helpless and would not
understand a thing.

[glasscraft]

I think you assume too much but feel free to test my command of your
language :-) if it makes you feel better

[Gość: tornado81]

I simply lurve British humour for its mastery of wit and irony!
Btw, hi everyone :) I've just come across this brill forum while surfing the Net.

[polska_potega_swiatowa]

Gość portalu: tornado81 napisał(a):

> I simply lurve British humour for its mastery of wit and irony!


"wit and irony" is typical of arrogant arses...

[Gość: polishhamster]

I hope this will be the last post in this thread, since if there's one thing
that's boring here it's mr polska_potega_swiatowa lowering the tone.

[polska_potega_swiatowa]

Yeap, that's what I thought, it is hard to find anyone these days
who will speak straight up, admit to its faults and weaknesses.

You will ask the smart arse ignorant about his arrogance, and he
will get mad at you, ferousiously fighting back.

Come on everybody knows that British are arrogant and full of
vanity, so why they still get offended about telling them truth?

[10iwonka10]

>>Come on everybody knows that British are arrogant and full of
vanity, so why they still get offended about telling them truth?>>>

Some of them probably are but it has nothing to do with their sense
of humour. Maybe you just don't understand it.?

Polish humour is ok for Polish people show it to English,
German,Italian...They will not find it funny.

Lots of it is connected with local culture, customs,politics, funny
situations if you don't live in the country you struggle to
understand local jokes.

[Gość: stampus]

I love British humour, "Office" is very funny in particular.
American sitcoms are also not bad, for example post-modern Larry
David's "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and "Seinfeld".

[Gość: Notabrit]

This polska potega guy must go to a shrink unless he thinks this
board is his treatment.
I never read such a load of bullsh*t in my internet life 8-o

[steve.woods]

Some examples of this terrible humour sent to me by email. I'm not sure if I fully understand 20. I know the last one is used in Poland was well.

1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tyred.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blown apart.
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
14. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
16. A calendar's days are numbered.
17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat. (and, of course, you never need two eggs because “one egg is un oeuf”.)
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
21. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
22. Those that gets too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
23. When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
30. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
31. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
32. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
33. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
34. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
35. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
36. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
37. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
38. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
39. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
40. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
41. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
42. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
43. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
44. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
45. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
46. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.
47. Syntax = What prostitutes pay
48. Perverse = The rate poets are paid
49. In an election it is not who votes that counts but who counts the votes.