Gość: sears
IP: NTPROXY* / 170.118.157.*
06.11.02, 22:28
Dla anglojezycznych gosci forum
Kawalerowie/Panny beda sie smiac, a my zonata brac chyba tylko plakac.
Subject: Marriage
You have two choices in life: you can stay single and be miserable, or get
married and wish you were dead."
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Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You
order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish
you had ordered that.
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At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other women replied, "Yes I am, I
married the wrong man."
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After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I
married you." He replied,
"Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
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A Man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted".. Next day he
received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
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The bride, upon getting engaged, went to her mother and said, "I've found a
man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from
me,sympathy?"
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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep
her.
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Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
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Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
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Young Son: Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know
his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.
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Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I
got married; by then it was too late."
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A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. The woman
replied, "A billionaire."
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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. A Second Marriage
is the triumph of hope over experience.
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If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you
say, talk in your sleep.
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking
they had no faults at all.
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You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the
boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.
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During a heated spat over finances the husband said, "Well, if you'd learn
to cook and were willing to clean this place, we could fire the maid." The
wife, fuming, shot back, "Oh yeah??? Well, if you'd learn how to make
love,we could fire the chauffeur and the gardener."
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Personally, I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that as
both husband and father, I can say anything I want to around the house. Of
course, no one pays the least bit of attention.
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According to the latest surveys, when making love, most married women
fantasize that their husbands aren't fantasizing.
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Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?
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My wife told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends.
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How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry
done for free.
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
once.
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Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.
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First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy:"You're lucky, mine's
still alive."
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a
bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
