ontarian
10.01.07, 18:27
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished
to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy.
Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow.
It was addressed, "Dad" With the worst premonition,
he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted
to avoid a scene with you and Mom.
I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice.
I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing,
tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much
older than I am but it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant.
Joan says that we are going to be very happy! . She owns a trailer
in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter.
We share a dream of having many more children.
Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't
really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with
the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS
so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can
get to know your grandchildren.
Your son,
Chad
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life
than the report card that's in my desk drawer.
I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home
