Troche humoru na dziś...

Ziemkiewicz o przygodach Prezedenta

[robisc]

Klątwa Tuska
3 grudnia 2008 autor rp

Wygląda na to, że po specjalistach od marketingu politycznego, image’u i wizażu,
premier ściągnął do siebie specjalistów od rzucania uroków.

Trudno inaczej wyjaśnić pech, który prześladuje w azjatyckiej podróży
prezydenta. Awarię samolotu można by jeszcze zrozumieć bez sięgania po siły
nadprzyrodzone – błędem obsługi albo zużyciem części w wiekowym aeroplanie;
hipoteza, iż któryś z pracowników premiera spędził noc na nakłuwaniu woskowego
modelu Tu-154 szpilką, wydaje mi się jednak nie tylko bardziej malownicza, ale i
bardziej prawdopodobna, zważywszy że nazajutrz po awarii mieliśmy z kolei do
czynienia z nagłą niedyspozycją cesarza Japonii. A przecież właśnie dla tej
audiencji zrezygnował prezydent z kuszącej perspektywy spotkania z Nicolasem
Sarkozym, o pomniejszych atrakcjach nie mówiąc. Domysł, że Jego Cesarska Mość
poczuł się źle na wieść o przyjeździe gościa z Polski, bo sama nazwa wciąż
jeszcze kojarzy mu się z amarantowymi napisami “sexy” i “love”, jest oparty na
wątłych podstawach.

Kto konkretnie zajmuje się na dworze Tuska abrakadabrą, trudno na razie zgadnąć
– z racji nazwiska podejrzewałbym ministra Arabskiego, a z racji obeznania w
tematyce rozmaitych magicznych eliksirów posła Palikota. Myślę, że nie będziemy
długo czekać na wyjaśnienie tej sprawy – dziennikarze niebawem “dotrą” do
tajnego zapisu szklanej kuli, a ściślej, jej starannie przebranych okruchów,
tych akurat, w których odbija się ujmujące oblicze premiera pełnego troski o
obywateli i zmęczonego pracą dla ich dobra.

Nie podejrzewałem, że pójdzie akurat o podróż zagraniczną i samolot (choć to
czegoś zapalna sprawa), ale tego, że premier sięgnie w końcu po czary,
spodziewałem się od dawna. Z każdym miesiącem rządzenia ma coraz mniej innych
możliwości.

[deluc]

www.trystero.pl/archives/908
Pare smaczkow: "Somali Pirates Capture Bernanke, Paulson, Demand $700B Ransom. Dow Soars."
"Moodys Upgrade Somali Pirates to AAA"
a dalej jeszcze zabawniej.

łejna świat łejna świat hahaha

[stoje_i_patrze]

www.capitalstool.com/forums/index.php?act=attach&type=post&id=107582

koniec kaczyńskiego już za....

[darek.biz]

www.joemonster.org/filmy/4790/Koniec_kadencji_Kaczynskiego_juz_za

logo na potrzeby kryzysu

[stoje_i_patrze]

www.capitalstool.com/forums/index.php?act=attach&type=post&id=107782

[stoje_i_patrze]

www.joemonster.org/art/10875/Loga_firm_w_czasie_kryzysu

detroit bailout

[wolo]

boingboing.net/2008/12/09/a-message-to-boing-b.html

21 Economic Models explained with Cows - 2008

[kadi-lak]

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws
the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped
dead.

ENRON-LIKE VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using
letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then
execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that
you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary
to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority
shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your
listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option
on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States ,
leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you
want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and
market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month,
and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine
productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade
your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a
Democracy....

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive A TURKISH CORPORATIONYou
have one bull, one cow.The bull kills the cow because of jealousy
as she is flirting with another bull.As there is no milk anymore,
you decide to slaughter the bull in Kurban Bairam just at least to
be religious. On the way home, you decide to buy a bottle of raki
and decide it is not so necessary to be so religious (and that meat
goes nice with raki)

A POLISH CORPORATION ????

[stoje_i_patrze]

POLISH CORPORATION
You don't have 2 cows...

[deluc]

POLISH ECONOMY
You pretend you have 2 cows
You buy milk abroad

..albo kombinacja powyzszych?

[kadi-lak]

POLISH ECONOMY:

You don't have any cows but you pretend you have 2000 of them. You
live in the 20 000 square feet mansion. You collect unemployment
and you buy your milk abroad.

.......albo tak:

[kadi-lak]

Polish Economy:

You have two cows. Your neighbor has three cows more than you. You
pray that his cows get sick and die.

[sendivigius]

POLISH ECONOMY

You have two cows:

One has a mustache, moos a lot but does not give any milk
Second spies on the first and sells all the milk on the black market

[bieda_inwestor]

POLISH CORPORATION
You had had 4 cows. One died in the war against German Corporation
and one from friendly fire from the Russian one. Now you have 2 cows
left. The one from Holstein-Friesian breed gives you much more milk,
but you prefer Polish red and white, good only for beef. You care
more about Polish one because it is also an altar server and speaks
so beautiful about how rich would you be if not because of evil
German Corporation. The Holstein-Friesian cow feels alienated and
will eventually emigrate leaving you with just one cow.

21 Economic Models explained with Cows - 2008

[kadi-lak]

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws
the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped
dead.

ENRON-LIKE VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using
letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then
execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that
you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary
to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority
shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your
listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option
on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States ,
leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you
want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and
market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month,
and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine
productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade
your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a
Democracy....

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive A TURKISH CORPORATIONYou
have one bull, one cow.The bull kills the cow because of jealousy
as she is flirting with another bull.As there is no milk anymore,
you decide to slaughter the bull in Kurban Bairam just at least to
be religious. On the way home, you decide to buy a bottle of raki
and decide it is not so necessary to be so religious (and that meat
goes nice with raki)

A POLISH CORPORATION ????

[olena55]

Polish corporation robia dobra zmiane ,zmieniaja dyrektora obory i obie krowy zdychaja w krotkin czasie no i po korporacjach

madoff

[stoje_i_patrze]

TARP To Be Used To Bailout Madoff Investors

To NA RAZIE tylko mój żart

GM

[stoje_i_patrze]

subprimeshowtime.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/gm.jpg

Neo

[stoje_i_patrze]

subprimeshowtime.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/obama.jpg

reklama w Pulsie Biznesu :)

[robisc]

www.pb.pl/Default2.aspx?ArticleID=701bc941-431f-4959-9e87-ed8c753a23ad&open=four

Pierwsza decyzja Obamy

[stoje_i_patrze]

img209.imageshack.us/my.php?image=image001yu5.jpg

[vice_versa]

Heh, jakie niepoprawne
Czy odtąd zaczniemy mówić "jak podał Black House"?
A Al Jazira obwieści że Washington DC przemianowano na Dirtington DC?

Dzisiaj Wigila

[wolo]

To nie najlepszy wątek żeby składać życzenia, swoje dla Was złożę w
innym wątku, który mam nadzieję ktoś założy, tymczasem życzenia
wszystkim składa UBS:

forums.hardwarezone.com.sg/showthread.php?t=2176464

to jest smieszne

[przycinek.usa]

Fragment:

Laid-off nuclear engineer Dr. Choulda Kistass, age 71, doesn’t regret spending
most of his life studying math and science and working long hours at his private
sector job, only to wind up as a Walmart greeter. “I know now I’ll have to work
here until I die, because I have no pension or benefits from my engineering
career. But it’s not so bad, the people are friendly, mostly…. except for some
of the customers who are into taunting and all that, but I don’t mind, really.
And if I stay late picking up cigarette butts and garbage in the parking lot at
night I have a chance to get promoted to bathroom cleaner. Then I won’t have to
stand here in the same spot all day.”

Choulda’s brother Dimwad followed a more successful career path. After dropping
out of school in the tenth grade to sell drugs and drive stolen cars across the
Mexican border, he enjoyed life as a self-described “party animal” throughout
his 20’s before finally settling down into a 9 to 5 government office job given
to him by a friend. “Basically all I had to do was sit there and fill out forms
to fine small business owners who couldn’t keep up with the rules and
regulations we changed every year. It was kinda fun.” Now retired with a
$110,000 guaranteed pension, Dimwad spends most of his time golfing with his
fellow government retiree buddies, and watching the big games on TV.

Bucks County, PA public school gym teacher Doug Brickhed also made all the right
moves. “Hey, I’m set for life. I never thought I’d be pullin’ down $86,000 a
year for hangin’ around with kids a few hours a day, with two months off in the
summer and more paid vacations than I know what to do with. Plus when I retire I
still get full benefits for life and my full salary, plus annual increases every
year, thanks to the teachers’ union. Not that I want to retire just yet! Have
you seen some of the 14-year old girls these days?”

Former computer programmer Betty Wilson, age 59, was laid off from H1-Angle
Software Corporation after being forced to train her replacements, three young
recent college graduates from India who moved to the U.S. to take advantage of
the opportunities they learned about from their uncle, who is the hiring manager
at the firm. Betty now works the night shift at McDonald’s as a “closer”,
mopping the floors, filtering the french fry grease vats and cleaning the
milkshake machines. After losing her home to foreclosure, she moved into a
two-room apartment with a McDonald’s co-worker. Times were tough before she
landed the new job, but things are looking up. “We get one free burger and a
small fry per day, so at least I’m eating again,” she said. “And I don’t blame
Mr. Gonzalez (her boss) for slapping me around sometimes because after all he
doesn’t understand English very well, it’s not his fault.”

wallstreetexaminer.com/blogs/mantle/?p=45#comment-4892

W samobojczym nastroju po swietach

[polarbeer]

facet zadzwonil na "suicide hotline"... Operator call center w Pakistanie zapytl
go czy potrafi kierowac ciezarowka...

Wolna prasa

[vice_versa]

Możliwe że już było, ale wkleję bo ładne

usebrain.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/censorship_press_obey.gifPozdr

[polarbeer]

szkoda ze to francuska nie amerykanska flaga w tle...

[vice_versa]

usebrain.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/censorship_press_obey.gif

Pozdr

Gold standard

[vice_versa]

kryzys.mises.pl/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/gladiator.jpg

Positive proof of global warming

[vice_versa]

Tutaj:
tinyurl.com/6t2ktq
Nie da się ukryć...

[baldazar]

Optymizm po białorusrku. Cytat z Łukaszenki. (Ciekaw jestem
wypowiedzi Tuska w stosownym momencie.)

Następny rok będzie dla nas trudny, ale Białorusini nie muszą się
przyzwyczajać do trudności. Były czasy znacznie cięższe -
optymistycznie mówił dyktator Aleksander Łukaszenka w noworocznym
orędziu do białoruskiego narodu.

[vice_versa]

Ale ten optymizm mial mocne podstawy! W końcu zrobili 20% dewaluację
rubla czyli orżnęli obywateli! W tym kontekście jest jeszcze
śmieszniej. Za rok powie obywatelom, że dług zagraniczny wzrósł i
trzeba drukować, a skoro Zimbabwe wytrzymało niedogodności to i
Białoruś może...

O higienie z innego punktu widzenia

[ago-ya]

www.wrzuta.pl/obraz/9V7Wa9oqw5/

Change we need

[boorack]

Jak wszyscy wiemy, prezydent-elekt Barack Obama planuje wielkie zmiany które
zmienią nasze życie na lepsze.

Pierwszą będzie zmiana pewnej historycznej nazwy tak aby lepiej oddawała ducha
naszych czasów.

Już niebawem Wall Street będzie się nazywać Madoff Avenue.

Echa Madoff'a

[baldazar]

Bank wiedeński Medici bankrutuje. Właścicielka banku znika (pewna
nobliwa Pani zawodowo związana z czarodziejem z Wall Street Panem
Madoff'em.). Medici inwestował pieniądze rosyjskich oligarchów
w fundusze Madoff'a.

A teraz dokonajcie refleksji. Czyż nie jest to zabawne.... I takie
filozoficzne.... złodziej przerobił złodzieja. Pośrednikowi
falują nogawki w poszukiwaniu jakiejś bezpiecznej przystani.

Czekamy na kolejne historie....

Po JPM i GS czas na prognozę PKB przez Lady Punk

[wolo]

z dedykacja dla minfinu i

Myślicie może, że jakoś się uda
Macie władzę, telewizję i chęć
Wasze miejsce w rządzie tłumaczy
Prognoza wzrostu wyliczona na pięć
Są tacy - to nie żart,
dla których ten wzrost jest wart

<0x4

Zawodowi maklerzy od akcji
Spekulanci od walut i stóp
-choćbyście nie wiem jak się starali -
I tak popchną eurozłotego na pięć
Są tacy - to nie żart,
dla których ten wzrost jest wart

<0x4

[kolo1974]

dobre Wolo widze ze humor dopisuje waluty zgodnie z planem troche za szybko to
idzie.

[stoje_i_patrze]

hahahaha

Cytaty

[stoje_i_patrze]

Wpada to najlepiej w tą kategorię:

1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame,
two is a law firm and three or more is a congress.

QE

[baldazar]

Zabawny według mnie komentarz na temat obecnej polityki banków
centralnych w US i UK.
www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/thereporters/stephanieflanders/

FED

[stoje_i_patrze]

http://images.cafepress.com/jitcrunch.aspx?bG9hZD1ibGFuayxibGFuazozOF9GX2M0LmpwZ3xsb2FkPUwwLGh0dHA6Ly9pbWFnZXM3LmNhZmVwcmVzcy5jb20vaW1hZ2UvMzI0OTg1MzdfNDAweDQwMC5qcGd8fHNjYWxlPUwwLDEzNCwxNzAsV2hpdGV8Y29tcG9zZT1ibGFuayxMMCxBZGQsMTgwLDkzfGNwPXJlc3VsdCxibGFua3xzY2FsZT1yZXN1bHQsMCw0ODAsV2hpdGV8Y29tcHJlc3Npb249OTV8