Bush: Iran must halt production of long letters

[br311]

Days after receiving an 18-page letter from Iranian president Mahmoud
Ahmadinejad, President George W. Bush called the lengthy missive "an act of
war" and demanded that Iran halt its production of long letters at once.

At the White House, aides said that writing a letter of such length to
President Bush, who is known for his extreme distaste for reading, was the
most provocative act Mr. Ahmadinejad could have possibly committed.

"Everyone knows that the last book the president read was My Pet Goat," one
aide said. "Expecting him to read an 18-page letter is really asking for it,
and that Iranian dude must have known that."

According to those close to Mr. Bush, the president was infuriated upon
receipt of the 18-page letter and asked aides if it was some kind of joke.

The president then demanded that the letter be boiled down to a one or two
page format, or possibly adapted to a DVD version, just as he had ordered for
news reports on Hurricane Katrina.

In Tehran, President Ahmadinejad said he was "taken aback" by Mr. Bush's
refusal to read an 18-page letter, but said that all his future
communications to the U.S. president would be in short, easy-to-read instant-
messaging format.

In his first IM to President Bush, released to the press today, President
Ahmadinejad writes, "Am building nukes. R U angry? LOL."

Elsewhere, Air Force Gen. Michael V. Hayden vowed today that as director of
the CIA he would push the agency to find new and better sources of false
intelligence.

heh good one!

[mars_99]

and another one..

So George is doing yet another photo op at an elementary school, and this one's been going pretty well, so he offers to take questions. A little boy raises his hand.

“Okay, you,” says George, smiling. “What's your name?”

“Billy.”

“Billy. And what's your question?”

“I have three questions,” Billy says. “First, why did you go to war without UN approval? Second, why are you president when Gore got more votes? Third, where's Osama bin Laden?”

George is taken aback. “Uh, those are really hard questions,” he says.

Just then the bell rings. “Whoops, time for recess!” George says. “Guess I'll have to answer your questions when recess is over.”

After recess, when the kids have settled back down again, George says “Okay, who's got a question?”

A little kid raises his hand, and George calls on him.

“What's your name?” George asks.

“Steve.”

“Okay, Steve. What's your question?”

“I have five questions,” Steve says. “First, why did you go to war without UN approval? Second, why are you president when Gore got more votes? Third, where's Osama bin Laden? Fourth, why did the bell for recess ring twenty minutes early? And fifth, what happened to Billy?”