Some Men Never Learn

[ontarian]

Sometimes men should stay silent.....


A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of their first stops was the
breeding bull exhibit. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign
attached that said, "This bull mated 52 times last year." The wife playfully
nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "See ... He mated 52 times last
year . that's once-a-week."



They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This
bull mated 120 times last year." The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and
said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."

They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital
letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife, so excited that her
elbow nearly broke her husband's ribs, said, "That's once-a-DAY. You could
REALLY learn something from this one."

The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with the
same cow."


NOTE: The husband's condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and
the doctors say after months of rehab and a couple more surgeries he will
likely be okay.

[harlista]

Gorzej bylo gosciem ktory gral w golfa z zona.
Po jednym swingu zony nie mogli znalezc jej pileczki.
Wreszcie gosc zauwazyl biala pileczke wystajaca spod ogona krowy
pasacej sie na polu golfowym.
Podniosl krowi ogon do gory i powiedzial
"wyglada jak twoja"
Pozniej byla ciemnosc i ocknal sie na urazowce w szitalu

wniosek prosty

[ontarian]

kobiety lubia jak sie je oklamuje

[piss.doff]

mowily mi ze chca byc oklamywane.

words women use

[ontarian]

FINE this is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and
you need to shut up

FIVE MINUTES if she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes
is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the
game before helping around the house.

NOTHING this is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you
should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in
"Fine"

GO AHEAD this is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and
wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over
"Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY this is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can
make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS a woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're
welcome.

"Whatever" ...it's a woman's way of saying *! #@ YOU

[piss.doff]

how true that is.

[harlista]

Kilka mądrośći:

Ludzie którzy piją sa dla mnie niczym.....niczym bracia!

Życie jest jak szachy, albo posuwasz królową, albo walisz konia

Jestem jak dżin - gdzie otworzą butelkę, tam jestem!

Nie pij gdy prowadzisz - Za dużo się rozlewa...

Czasem tak w życiu bywa, że raz pęka serce, a raz prezerwatywa...

[ontarian]

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India .

The Personnel Manager said, "Mujibar, you have
passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass
it you cannot qualify for this job."

Mujibar said, "I am ready"

The manager said, "Make a sentence using the
words Yellow, Pink and Green."

Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said,
"Mister manager, I am ready"

The manager said, "Go ahead."

Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green,
and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar.'"

Mujibar now works as a technician at a call
center for computer problems.

No doubt you have spoken to him.