News from Britain

[varsovian]

Cameron smoked pot at school (so?)
The cost of the London Olympics is set to rise by GBP 900m, "partly to pay
consultants to keep the price down" ...
Tony Blair has been technically banned from entering the US under the Visa
Waiver scheme due to suspicions of illegal activities concerning cash for
honours
Tony Blair currently has mortgages of 25X salary
Prehistoric consultant quoted (on a stone tablet) as saying "From now on I
want half of you to hunt and the other half to gather"
Weakest Link:
Question - The word "croissant" literally means what shape?
Contestant - Triangle?

Some Members of the European Parliament are complaining they have nothing to
do, as the Commission has given them nothing to get their teeth into.
Never mind ... a salary of GBP 60,000 and expenses of GBP 100,000 makes them
feel better.
Quote from Tony Blair "This is all about historical events in the past" (You
can always spot a lawyer at work)
NZ police are introducing taser guns, and the consequences are awful - at one
domestic dispute one policeman managed to kill the family cat, disable the
quarrelling couple's 2 children (one with pepper spray) and zapped himself in
the process. Luckily, the husband decided to give himself up and an arrest
was made.
New Muslim shampoo - "Behead and Shoulders"
And now for personal news from me:
I've just read "The Wine Diet" by a bloke called Corder.
(Almost) nothing new in it that I haven't read elsewhere, except he does tell
you which wines have the highest levels of polyphenols, which is interesting
as they correlate with areas reporting higher life expectancy. Some nice
recipes in it, too. After reading it I might extend the variety of my wine
buying and eat an extra fruit or two, but essentially it's eating and
drinking as normal, I'm happy to report.

[varsovian]

www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007070789,00.html
road signs in Polish ... in England!

[ianek70]

varsovian napisał:

> www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007070789,00.html
> road signs in Polish ... in England!

And of course some Polish gobshite has added his opinion that he shouldn't have
to learn English because his great-grandfather's neighbour went to school with
someone whose cousin later flew a plane in the Battle of Britain.

No disrespect to the bravery and skill of the Polish pilots, but it was several
generations ago, there were only a few of them, and because of the war the
world was full of brave folk then. So Poles who use them on internet forums to
justify absurd opinions should be publicly kicked up the arse.

[marcus_anglikiem]

well it is crazy - though we have had of course road signs in French and German
by the coast for as long as I can remember - but what happened to the
traditional way of preventing people from driving straight through road works -
putting a fence up - ? A POINT OF GREAT IMPORTANCE - as far back as i can
remember, Europe and lots of the rest of the world too, has had road signs
recognisable universally so that we Brits could drive around the continent
without having to read foreign languages. Is it beyond the wit of the 600,000
or so staff of the EU to think up a f***ing symbol for 'Diversion' ?

[usenetposts]

marcus_anglikiem napisał:

> well it is crazy - though we have had of course road signs in French and
German
>
> by the coast for as long as I can remember - but what happened to the
> traditional way of preventing people from driving straight through road
works -
>
> putting a fence up - ? A POINT OF GREAT IMPORTANCE - as far back as i can
> remember, Europe and lots of the rest of the world too, has had road signs
> recognisable universally so that we Brits could drive around the continent
> without having to read foreign languages. Is it beyond the wit of the 600,000
> or so staff of the EU to think up a f***ing symbol for 'Diversion' ?

They're too stupid. We should, like, have a competition.

[ianek70]

AND THERE'S MORE!!!!

motoryzacja.interia.pl/hity_dnia/news/zazadal-usuniecia-polskich-znakow,877860,415

A local Tory MP claims it's political correctness gone mad, but as a Tory MP
he's contractually obliged to say "It's political correctness gone mad!" every
15 minutes (as well as "That's not what made Britain great" and "Let's suddenly
start punishing the criminals and not the victims.")
Instead of Westminster Council putting up signs with directions for Polish
coach drivers, why don't they invest in signs saying "It's much f***ing cheaper
to fly", then it'll be someone else's problem?
And instead of looking for immigrants on the Lost Highway, why don't they dig a
big hole, put up signs saying "Don't go this way or you'll fall in a big hole",
and make a note of the nationality of the hapless fools that they rescue from
the big hole? If any of them are Poles, they should check what mark they got
for English in their matura and count how many of them have got a degree in
English. Then they could pass a motion in the European Parliament that Minister
of Education Giertych is officially a knob-end, and since his father Matt
Giertych doesn't believe in evolution then it's his fault for bringing the boy
up in a cretinous manner.

[usenetposts]

ianek70 napisał:

> varsovian napisał:
>
> > www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007070789,00.html
> > road signs in Polish ... in England!
>
> And of course some Polish gobshite has added his opinion that he shouldn't
have
>
> to learn English because his great-grandfather's neighbour went to school
with
> someone whose cousin later flew a plane in the Battle of Britain.
>
> No disrespect to the bravery and skill of the Polish pilots, but it was
several
>
> generations ago, there were only a few of them, and because of the war the
> world was full of brave folk then. So Poles who use them on internet forums
to
> justify absurd opinions should be publicly kicked up the arse.


Yeah, true, but then again if Pakistani women are allowed to sit behind the
purdah not learning English, then why is it any different for that guy?

One way would be to make the learning of one British language obligatory, and
if they haven't learned English after two years they should be put on a
residential course to learn Cornish or Manx.

[russh]

varsovian napisał:

> www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007070789,00.html
> road signs in Polish ... in England!

Bloody crazy.

[kylie1]

The Poles must be running some illegal labs with highly clandestine operations
in the production of Cheshire cheese. Black market for the 6% that speaks Polish.

[varsovian]

Good thing they didn't mistranslate the sign Polish-style.
"Diversion" - doesn't it mean entertainment or something?

The Welsh put their road signs in Welsh (disgraceful), but you get the hang of
it when you see "araf" (slow) before every tight bend. "Dyswyglyr", or
something like it, is "diversion" (giving rise to the Anglo-Welsh
expression "being diswigglified"). I thought you might need to be filled in on
this trivia. Could be more use to you than an opinion from the Great Waldo.

[usenetposts]

I actually love those Welsh road signs. It's like going to another country.

Arafwch nawr! Boyo!

[kylie1]

I am told our Newfies in Canada are like that too. When my daughter was still
in high school, she had a Newfie for a math teacher. She didn't understand a
thing he was saying and consequently went to a different class where "normal"
English was spoken. Others tired of the newfieism crap followed suit.

If you think Welsh is bad, look at this Newfie slang:

Angishore - a weak miserable person
Faggot - a pile of half-fried codfish.
Biniky - ill-tempered.
Ferks - the crotch of pants.
The Reckly - soon
Bumbuy - Later on
Slu or slew - turn
Maul Mouth - a screecher
Glom - to grab

Now, varsovian, "do you want a faggot for dinner tonight? Someone had better
glom it asap and no lallygagging there! You don't want to see me get biniky, eh?"

[varsovian]

To tell you the truth, I haven't had a good faggot in quite some time. You
know, good meaty balls with loads of juice dripping from them.
Ideal with broccoli, apparently.

[kylie1]

Thanks. I think I will never look at cod the same way again!
Hey, wait a second, isn't that what Newfies say: "In Cod We Trust"?
Well, I guess that would explain a few things...