Cos lzejszego :-)))

[Gość: ochman]

Dear IT Support

Eighteen months ago I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from
Drinking Mates 4.2 which I'd used for years without any
trouble.

However, there are apparently conflicts between these
two products and the only solution was to try and run
Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is also
incompatible with several other applications, such as
Lads Night Out 3.1, Football 2 and Playboy 6.1.

Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better.
A shareware beta-programme, Party Girl 2.1 which I
tried had many bugs and left a virus in my system,
forcing me to shut down completely for several
weeks.

Eventually I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend
1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these
two systems detected each other they caused severe
damage to my hardware.

Sensing a way out, I then upgraded to Fiancée 1.0 only
to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded
(at great cost) to Wife 1.0, which I reluctantly agreed
to because, whilst Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my
available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSex
Plus and Cleanhouse 2000.

Shortly after this upgrade however I then discovered
that Wife 1.0 can be very unstable and costly to run.
For example, any mistakes I made were automatically
stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted.

They then resurfaced months later when I had forgot
about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary
Explorer and E-mail porn filter, and can, without
warning, launch Photostrop and Whingezip!

These latter products have no help files and I have to
try and guess what the problem is myself.

Additional costly problems are that Wife 1.0 needs
updating regularly, requiring Shoe Shop Browser for new
attachments and also Hairstyle Express which needs to
be reinstalled every other week.

Wife 1.0 also spawns unwelcome child processes that
also drains my resources. It also conflicted with some
of the new games I wanted to try, stating that they
are an illegal operation.

When Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Audi TT programme
it often crashes or runs the system dry. Wife 1.0 also
has a rather annoying pop-up called Mother-in-Law,
which can't be turned off.

Recently I've attempted to try Mistress 2000, but there
could be problems, a friend has alerted me to the fact
that if Wife 1.0 detects the presence of Mistress 2000
it tends to delete all my MS Money files before
un-installing itself.

Any Ideas ?

i odpowiedz...

[Gość: ochman]

Dear Customer

This is a very common problem that men complain about
but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many
people upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the
idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "utilities &
entertainment" program. Wife 1.0 is an operating system
and designed by its creator to run everything. It is
unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still
convert back to Girlfriend 1.0. Hidden operating files
within your system would cause Girlfriend 1.0 to
emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing would be gained.

It is impossible for you to un-install, delete, or
purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife1.0 is
not designed to do this. Mistress 2001 is a
possibility but your friend is right about the effect
this has on your MS Money files.

The temptation after that is to install Girlfriend 1.3
or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the
original system - (look in your manual under
"warnings - alimony/child support"). I recommend you
keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having
Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you
read the entire section regarding General Partnership
Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for
every fault and problem that might occur, regardless
of its cause. The best course of action will be to
enter the command c:\apologise.

In any case, avoid excessive use of the "esc" key
because ultimately you will have to give the apologise
command before the operating system will return to
normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you
take the blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a
great program, but very high maintenance. Consider
buying additional software to improve the performance
of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates
5.0, but do not, under any circumstances, install
Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported
application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause
irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck.

IT Help Desk.