Ciekawostki z kraju Mickey Maus

[schlagbaum]

Applying to McDonald's

An actual job application that a 17-year-old boy submitted to McDonald's in
Florida.


NAME: Greg Bulmash.

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously,
whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be
applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style
severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it
notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more
intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP
TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do
you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a
winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a
fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest
thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries

[schlagbaum]

The following are genuine State Laws that are still technically in force in
America:

In Hartford, Connecticut: it is illegal to cross a street while walking on your
hands.

In Ottumwa, Iowa: it is unlawful for a man to wink at any woman that he does
not know.

In Los Angeles: you cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.

In Zion, Illinois: it is illegal to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and
other animals kept as pets.

In Carmel, New York: a man cannot go outside while wearing a jacket and
trousers that do not match.

In St. Louis: it's illegal to sit on the kerb of any city street and drink beer
from a bucket.

In Baltimore, Maryland: it's illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-storey
window within the city-limits. It's also illegal to take a lion to the cinema.

In Carrizozo, New Mexico: it's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in
public (includes legs and face.)

In Michigan: a woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's
permission.

In New York: it is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.

The state of Washington has passed a law stating that it is illegal to paint
polka dots on the American flag.

In order for a pickle to be officially considered a pickle in Connecticut, it
must bounce.

If you sell hollow logs in Tennessee, you are breaking the law.

Oklahoma forbids a person from taking a bite out of another person's hamburger.

Selling doughnut holes in Leigh, New England, is forbidden.

In North Carolina: it is against the law to use elephants to plough cotton
fields.

In Pennsylvania: cars travelling on country roads at night must send up a
rocket every mile, then wait ten minutes for the raod to clear.

In Utah: it is against the law to fish from horseback.

In South Bend, Indiana: back in 1924, a moneky was convicted the crime of
smoking a cigarette and was sentenced to pay a 25 dollar fine and the trial
costs.

In Oklahoma: Harthahorne City Ordinance, Section 363, states that it shall be
unlawful to put any hypnotized person in a display window.

...........And finally..........

In Gary, Indiana: people are prohibited from attending a cinema and from riding
public transport within four hours of eating garlic.

[maurycy]

Winchester, MA:Tightrope walking is illegal here unless you are in church.

Carmel, CA: It’s against the law for a woman to take a bath in a business
office.

Lubbock, TX: It’s illegal to sleep in a garbage can.

Los Angeles, CA: It’s against the law to bathe two babies at the same time in
the same tub.

Roanoke, VA: It’s illegal to advertise on tombstones.

South Bend, IN: It’s against the law to make a monkey smoke.

Oxford, OH: A woman may not remove her clothing while standing in front of a
picture of a man.

Tennessee: It’s illegal to drive a car while you are asleep.

Wisconsin: It’s against the law to feed margarine instead of real butter to
prisoners.

California: It’s illegal to peel an orange in your hotel room.

South Dakota: Don’t fall asleep in a cheese factory, or you could be arrested.

Garfield County, MT: It’s illegal to draw funny faces on window shades.

Kentucky: Anyone who comes face to face with a cow on the road, must remove
their hat.

Hartford, CN: It’s illegal to walk across the street on your hands.

Hawaii: It’s illegal to put coins in your ears.

THE 2004-2005 DARWIN AWARDS

[schlagbaum]

[Arkansas Democrat Gazette]: Two local men were injured when their pickup
truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38
early one Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of
Little Rock, were returning to Des Arc after a frog-gigging trip. On an
overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned. The two
men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out.
A replacement fuse was not available, but Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber
bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering-
wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate
properly, and the two men proceeded eastbound toward the White River Bridge.
After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the
bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and struck Poole in the testicles.
The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the pavement and striking a tree.
Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident, but will
require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will
never operate as intended. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated
and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his
balls off, or we might both be dead," stated Wallis. "I've been a trooper for
10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe
that those two would admit how this accident happened," said the investigating
officer. On being notified of the wreck, Lavinia Poole (Poole's wife) asked how
many frogs the boys had caught and whether anyone had gotten them from the
truck.

Morris Berman - Johns Hopkins University

[schlagbaum]

Upadek USA ze wzgledu na glupote.

Co uwaza na temat busha to lepiej, by kazdy sam przeczytal.

ale poza tym

Od roku 1965 spadla o polowe ilosc czytajacych gazety codzienne
40% amerykanow nie jest w stanie nazwac przeciwnikow usa w drugiej wojnie
swiatowej
120 milionow doroslych amerykanow czyta i pisze po angielsku na poziomie
jedenastolatka.