Rozwod po polsku

[abe_ltd]

POLISH DIVORCE

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his
English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he
rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce
for him..

The lawyer said that getting a divorce could depend on the circumstances,
and asked him the following questions:

Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.
I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one.
I mean, what are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland .

Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.
Is your wife a nagger?
No, she white.
Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.

What makes you think that?
I got proof.

What kind of proof?
She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in
bathroom. I can read, and it say: "Polish Remover".

:):)

[akserm]

[thannatos]

Jeden z niewielu dobrych pollock jokes jakie widzialem. :))

The Italian who went to Malta

[thannatos]

The Italian who went to Malta
(read with Italian accent, those who cannot, suffer !)

One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast.
I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella
her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say, you no understand, I wanna
piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I
don't even know the lady and she call me sonna me bitch !!

Later I go to eat at a bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a
knife, but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I
tell her you no understand, I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not
fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch.

So, I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. I call
the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no
understand. I wanna shit on my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you
sonna ma bitch.

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you". I say piss on
you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italy!!!

O Jezusicku, to zem siem usmiala do rozpuku!

[abe_ltd]

DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

[mmkkll]

Poszukaj gdzieś wersji dźwiękowej. Jest jeszcze lepsza ;).

[bazyliszek4]

przychodzi Polak do sklepu w Londynie i prosi po polsku o piłkę. sprzedawca
wzrusza ramionami, że nie rozumie. Polak stara się mu wytłumaczyć:
- no piłka, no...
sprzedawca dalej kręci głową.
- piłka, kurcze... Boniek, rozumiesz, Boniek - tłumaczy Polak kreśląc w
powietrzu okrągły kształt.
sprzedawca wciąż pokazuje, że nie rozumie.
- Boniek, no... Wembley, rozumiesz stary? Wembley!
spredawca wreszcie pojmuje o co chodzi:
- oh, a ball!
- tak! a teraz skup się: d-o m-e-t-a-l-u...

Klasyka!!! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

[abe_ltd]

Pilka do metalu

[polski_francuz]

Dobre!

PF

[mmkkll]

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department Motor Vehicles to apply
for a driver's license. He has to take an Eye Test. The clerk tells him to read
a card with the letters 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z'. "Read it?" the man replies,
"Yes, he's my cousin."

:DDDDDDDDDDDDD Ale fajny dzien na forum dzis!

[abe_ltd]

[thannatos]

Nom i jojo wrocil - bedzie rozrywka. :)

Jojo, my hero. I'm soooooo happy! :DDDDDDDn.t

[abe_ltd]

[i-love-2-bike]

he,he ty lubisz tych rough in the buff:))