Saladin al-Chirac

[ms_helga]

Z gazety Al-Bayan, Dubai, United Arab Emirates:

In a Feb.11 interview in [the London-based, Palestinian newspaper] Al-Quds al-
Arabi, an Arab citizen of France suggested—sarcastically or despairingly—that
the French President Jacques Chirac should be elected as President of the
Arab League. I laughed at first, but immediately felt as if a poisoned blade
had been sunk into my heart. I wondered, “Has our self-contempt reached a new
low?”

But despite my personal pain, I began to think of the possible advantages of
this suggestion. I came to the conclusion that installing Chirac as president
of the Arab League could bring about a solution to our problems, considering
the level to which our daily lives have sunk in recent times. This sarcastic
suggestion just might be the cure for what ails us.

If things were to get any worse—God forbid—and we were forced elect Chirac to
lead the Arab world, I would begin by proposing to our new Arab President
Chirac a list of ideas that would assist in his surmounting the arduous tasks
before him and in achieving complete Arab unity from the [Atlantic] Ocean to
the [Persian] Gulf. This miracle would be wrought by the hands of our
new “Saladin al-Chirac,” who would not remain idle.

The first thing I would suggest Chirac do is to convince German Chancellor
Gerhard Schröder to leave his current post and escape the frigid climate of
his country in order to be appointed temporarily as Prime Minister of the
Arabs. This because Schröder has demonstrated during his time in office,
especially since the beginning of the American threats on Iraq, that his
stance for “Arabism” [a program calling for promotion of Arab unity and
rights] has been more Arabist by a billion times than most Arab authorities’.
The German leader has held a position based on principle, even maintaining
his stance during this intense time and despite the crippling American
diplomatic attacks that have often reached the point of contempt and
insolence.

The second proposal I would present to our beloved President Chirac would be
the appointment of Jean-Louis Michel, currently Belgium’s Foreign Minister,
as foreign minister for the newly united Arab nations. It would be a
difficult and unique position because of the diversity among Arabs. His
posting to this position would essentially be a continuation of his current
activities and statements on behalf of his country during the current Iraqi
crisis. He has intrepidly challenged every American initiative, especially
those that tried to bully the nations of Europe and NATO to rally behind the
rush of American aggression. Furthermore, he has been forced to defend
bravely the fact that his nation is the only one in the world that dared to
attempt legal prosecution of the murdering Israeli Prime Minister Ariel
Sharon with the charge of perpetrating crimes against humanity [for his
involvement in the massacres of Palestinian civilians at the Sabra and
Shatila refugee camps by Phalangist militias during the Israeli invasion of
Lebanon in September 1982].

My third suggestion would be that Chirac should appoint the current speaker
of the Russian Parliament, Gennady Seleznev, as speaker of the Parliament of
Arabs. He would preside over Parliament during our long-hoped-for age of
unity. Seleznev is an example to the majority of the Russian representatives
in the Duma, who certify on a daily basis the refusal of the Russian people
to support aggression against Iraq. His politics have been so brilliant that
he has outmaneuvered any possible change of mind by the Russian leadership or
attempts to kowtow to American threats.

Of course there are many other names from numerous non-Arab countries that
we could suggest to President Chirac for membership in our new Arab League.
There are great politicians who would greatly enhance the ideal qualities of
Arabism, such as the British Member of Parliament George Galloway, Cuban
President Fidel Castro, Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez, and Malaysian Prime
Minister Mahatir Muhammad.

Why stop at politicians? There are also novelists, artists, and other
cultural icons from numerous nations abroad who have defended our Arab
rights. It would certainly be possible for Chirac to allocate room for them
in our new Arab League so they could put themselves in the service of our
causes.

.....:)))))))))