Dowcip

22.04.08, 07:12
Cos lekkiego dla odprezenia: zart z Polnocnego Terytorium
(Australia). Najpierw przeczytaj i zobacz czy zrozumiesz zart.
Jezeli bedziesz miec klopoty z potocznym jezykiem to na koncu
znajdziesz troche wyjasnien.

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A Northern Territory farm hand (an Aboriginal) radios back to the
farm manager.

'Boss, I gotta helluva problem here. I hit a pig with the ute.
The pig's OK, but he's stuck in the bull bars at the front of my ute
and is wriggling and squealing so much I can't get him out.'

The manager says,'Ok, there's a ..303 rifle behind the seat.
Take it, shoot the pig in the head and you'll be able to remove him.'

Five minutes later the farm hand calls back, 'I did what you said
boss. Took the 303, shot the pig in the head and removed him from
the bull-bars. No problem there, but I still can't go on'.

'Now what's the problem?' raged the Manager.

'Well boss, it's his motor-bike. The flashing blue light is stuck
under the right-front wheel arch.'

*************************************************************


Dla tych co nie znaja potocznego jezyka:
1.) ute to typ nadwozia samochodu (np. www.holden.com.au/www-
holden/action/modeloverview?modelid=15004)
2.) pig to policjant
    • karen64 Re: Dowcip 22.04.08, 09:13
      A cultural comparison:

      Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.

      Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.

      Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.

      Brits: Can’t possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.


      Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.

      Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.

      Americans: Believe that people should look out for & take care of themselves.

      Canadians: Believe that that’s the government’s job.


      Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer.

      Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.

      Canadians: Can’t agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing them.

      Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.


      Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.

      Canadians: Don’t, but only because they can’t get more American channels.

      Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch four channels.

      Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no-one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.


      Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball, and basketball.

      Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer, and rugby.

      Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.

      Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they play them in.


      Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it “English”.

      Brits: Pronounce their words differently, but still call it “English”.

      Canadians: Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans.

      Aussies: Add “G’day”, “mate” and a heavy accent to everything they say in an attempt to be cool.


      Brits: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.

      Aussies: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.

      Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country.

      Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country.


      Americans: Drink weak, bad-tasting beer.

      Canadians: Drink strong, bad-tasting beer.

      Brits: Drink warm, bad-tasting beer.

      Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it.


      Americans: Seem to think that poverty & failure are morally suspect.

      Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.

      Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited things.

      Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.
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