Gość: Mosze
IP: 5.6R1D8DEBUG* / 212.25.109.*
15.10.04, 17:53
More Jewish Smiles
Signs on Synagogue Bulletin Boards:
- Under same management for over 5763 years.
- Don't give up. Moses was once a basket case.
- What part of "Thou shalt not" don't you understand?
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Shul committees should be made up of three members, two of
whom should be absent at every meeting.
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Sign over the urinal in a bathroom at Hebrew University :
" The future of the Jewish people is in your hands."
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My mother is a typical Jewish mother. Once she was on jury duty.
They sent her home. She insisted SHE was guilty.
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Any time a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a
pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
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It was mealtime during a flight on El-Al.
"Would you like dinner?, " the flight attendant asked Moshe, seated in front.
"What are my choices?, " Moshe asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.
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An elderly Jewish man is knocked down by a car and is brought to the local
hospital. A pretty nurse tucks him into bed and says, "Mr. Epstein, are you
comfortable?"
Epstein replies, "I make a nice living...."
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A rabbi was opening his mail one morning. Taking a single sheet of paper from
an envelope he found written on it only one word: "shmuck."
At the next Friday night service, the Rabbi announced, "I have known many
people who have written letters and forgot to sign their names, but this week
I
received a letter from someone who signed his name.... and forgot to write a
letter.
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Three Jewish women get together for lunch. As they are being seated in the
restaurant, one takes a deep breath and gives a long, slow "oy." The second
takes a deep breath as well and lets out a long, slow "oy." The third takes a
deep breath and says impatiently, "Girls, I thought we agreed that we weren't
going to talk about our children."
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A waiter comes over to a table full of Jewish women and asks, "Is anything
all right?"
