kot.behemot
22.03.04, 07:38
...czekające na odkrycie. :)
D A M I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.
ST. M O M'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
unconscious for up to six hours.
E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the
memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till
they moved out.
P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an
evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves
flirting.
D U M E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing
enjoyment of country western music.
F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the
urge to f! lip off other drivers.
M E N I C I L L I N
Potent antibiotic for older women. Increases resistance to cliché "lines"
and helps them remember what he really means is, "can we get naked now?"
B U Y A G R A
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and
duration of spending spree.
Extra Strength BUY-ONE-AL
When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so
severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by
Dr. Laura.
J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,
anniversary or phone number.
A N T I -T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to
share their life stories with total strangers.
S E X C E D R I N
More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a
headache," syndrome.
R A G A! M E T
When administered to a man, provides the same irritation as ragging on
him all weekend, saving the woman the time and trouble of doing it herself
[CTB]--Good ones, FROM SOME UNKNOWN E-MAIL PLAGIARISM. But of course I just
thought up some others in the last few moments:
B I K O D I N: Relieves frayed nerves for those that have to listen to loud,
throaty motorcycles revving as they're being worked on, and increases
circulation to the tush after a long ride.
M A R R Y-W A N N A: Psychoactive drug that increases chances for commitment.
Usually used by females on unsuspecting, vacillating males.
H E R O-W I N: Increases competitiveness in males for either female objects
or sports endeavors.
T O O C L O S E-A M I N E: Increases desire for "space" in a relationship.
I B E P R O V E N: Paternity testing kit when fatherhood is in doubt.
D R I P S-O R A L: Cure for drooling.
T R E K I N A C E A: useful for those planning to hike Mt. Everest...may fend
off extreme cold.
A L L E G R A: used on hens by chicken farmers to speed up the production of
eggs.
C L E A R-A-S I L L: will enhance the desire for spring cleaning.
P S A L M I N E X: Keeps you from sleeping in church.
C O N T R I T I N: Induces looks of sorrow and remorse to those about to be
arraigned.
M O T O W N T R I N: When you're out of rhythm and got the blues.
Q U A R T I S O N E: Hallucinogen that deceives you into thinking your pint
of beer is larger.
B E N T-A-D R I L L: To soothe the frustration of using poor-quality tools.
N E O S P A R R I N': given to first-time pugilists to lessen infections due
to bleeding.
T I N A C T I N': popularized by Jack Haley in "The Wizard of Oz", this
product is for aspiring actors to bring their performances up from "wooden".
D E N Y Q U I L L: Softens barbs of porcupines for easy removal.
