Prośba o sprawdzenie

[leopoldyna]

Uczę się angielskiego sama, nie ma mi więc kto sprawdzać prac. Czy znalazła
by się jakaś dobra dusza, która by to zrobiła? Postawiłam sobie za zadanie
napisanie narrative composition.


She shut the door and picked up the telephone. She was so excited
that she had to ring up her best friend Marry. She must told her that she had
seen him. He was there, near her house. He was moiving into the next house.
It was unbelievable that he would become her neighbour. He will be Jane
Parker's neighbour. That was unimaginable.
"Marry, listen. You have to come to me as quickly as you can. You
won't believe it. You have to see him yourself". "Jane, but who? What
happens?". But she didn't answer. She hung up.
Somebody was ringing at the door. Jane opened the door and stood
stock-still. Tom Cruise was smiling to her. "Hi. I'm your new neighbour.
Robert Smith", he said. "What?", she mumbled."You are not Tom Cruise?" She
was disappointed. "No, but I'm his stunt man".
Half an hour later, when Marry arrived at Jane, she met her
watching "Mission impossible". She was looking at the screen delighted.

[hayden]

OK. Nie ma sprawy. Wszystkie zmiany (nieliczne) dużymi literami:

She shut the door and picked up the telephone. She was so excited that she had to ring up her best friend, MARY. She HAD TO TELL her that she had seen him. He was there, near her house. He was MOVING into the next house.
It was unbelievable that he would become her neighbour. He WOULD BE Jane
Parker's neighbour. That was unimaginable.
"MARY, listen. You have to come to me as quickly as you can. You won't believe it. You have to see him yourself".
"Jane, but who? What IS GOING ON?"
But she didn't answer. She hung up.
Somebody was ringing at the door. Jane opened the door and stood stock-still. Tom Cruise was smiling to her.
"Hi. I'm your new neighbour. Robert Smith", he said.
"What?", she mumbled. "You are not Tom Cruise?" She was disappointed.
"No, but I'm his stunt man".
Half an hour later, when Marry arrived at Jane'S, she met her watching "Mission Impossible".
She was looking at the screen, delighted.

Pozdrawiam

[leopoldyna]

Hayden
WIELKIE dzięki. Wszystkie poprawki są dla mnie jasne (zastanawiałam się, czy
tak nie powinno być). Tylko jednej rzeczy nie do końca czuję. Co się dzieje?
What happens? - nie możemy użyć czasownika happen, czy nie w tym czasie?
Raz jeszcze dziękuję. Fajnie, że są tacy bezinteresowni ludzie, gotowi pomóc.
Pozdrawiam ciepło.