prosba o konsultacje

[kasia191273]

Mam prosbe do anglistow lub znajacych jezyk angielski doskonale. Jak
oceniacie, z punktu widzenia stylu, doboru slow, skladni,
przyjrzystosci tekst wlepiony ponizej. Chodzi mi o to, czy nie brzmi
on sztucznie, nienaturalnie? Nie potrafie tego ocenic. Czy jesli cos
brzmi sztucznie, moglibyscie takie miejsce wskazac? Z gory wielkie
dzieki!


During the dark days around Christmas, in a Rotterdam maternity
ward, Jacob Willem Katadreuffe was assisted into the world by a
Caesarean. His mother was an eighteen- year-old servant girl, Jacoba
Katadreuffe, called Joba for short. His father was a bailiff, A. B.
Dreverhaven, a man in his late thirties, renowned for his
ruthlessness towards any debtor who fell into his hands.
The girl, Joba Katadreuffe, had been with Dreverhaven, a
bachelor, for only a short time when he succumbed to her innocent
charms, and she to his strength. He was not the type of man to
yield; he was a man of granite, with a heart merely in the literal
sense. He only yielded that once and he capitulated more in respect
to himself than to her. Perhaps even, had she not possessed such
exceptional eyes, nothing would have happened. But it happened after
days of pent- up anger over a grandiose plan he had conceived, set
in motion, then seen wrecked before his eyes because the money-
lender backed out at the very last moment. Later than that even,
when withdrawal should have been no longer possible, after the money-
lender had pledged his word. There was no scrap of proof, no shred
of evidence, and Dreverhaven as a man of the law knew that he could
do nothing about the broken promise. With the man’s letter in his
pocket- a letter very carefully worded but at the same time obvious
refusal- Dreverhaven had come home late. He had felt it coming;
lately, whenever he rang up, he was told the skunk was absent. He
knew it was a lie; he sensed it. Than that evening the letter had
arrived, the first and only thing in writing, and there was nothing
to catch hold of. So cunningly drafted, there must have been a
lawyer behind it.
Dreverhaven returned home, seething inwardly, and in a suppressed
fury he made himself master of Joba Katadreuffe. The girl was not by
nature one to yield : she had a strong will, but still she was a
girl. What happened to her was on the borderline of rape, but not
actually so, and she did not so regard it.
She stayed on with her employer, but no longer addressed a single
word to him. He was naturally taciturn; it did not worry him in the
least. It will turn out all right, he thought : if anything happens
I shall marry her. And he, too, kept silent.
After a few weeks she broke the silence :
‘I’m in the family way.’
‘Oh well,’ he said.
‘I’ll be going away.’
‘Oh well.’
He thought : it will all turn out right. Within an hour he heard
the front door close, not emphatically, quiet normally. He went to
the window. There was the young thing walking away with a bulging
wicker basket. She was a sturdy girl and was not weighed down by it.
He saw her go as the evening began grow grey; it was the end of
April.