Geek issues czyli IRC na wesoło

[vanin]

To jest 50 najzabawniejszych fragmentów pogawędek na IRC-u. Wszystkie są po
angielsku i w wielu z nich użyto słów powszechnie używanych za obraźliwe ale
cóż, w takich przyszło nam żyć czasach. Miłej zabawy.



(erno) hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it
works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.


(Zybl0re) get up
(Zybl0re) get on up
(Zybl0re) get up
(Zybl0re) get on up
(phxl|paper) and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances :D\-(
* nmp3bot dances :D|-(
* nmp3bot dances :D/-(
([SA]HatfulOfHollow) i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a
device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet


(tatclass) YOU ALL SUCK DICK
(tatclass) er.
(tatclass) hi.
(andy\code) A common typo.
(tatclass) the keys are like right next to each other.


(ohm) damn
(ohm) FUCK
(ohm) DAMN
(ohm) i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my grandmother's window pops
up
(ohm) FUCK
(ohm) i go like this to her
(ohm) "i want to suck on your clit"
(ohm) FUCK


(weDge) So I had a girlfriend for all of 9 months. She dropped by one afternoon
when I was sick with a pan of brownies and a video tape with the simpsons on it
(my favorite show). so I start eating the brownies and turn on the tape. midway
through it, it cuts to her sucking off some dude. he nuts in her mouth, she
looks at the camera, and says "you're dumped. enjoy the brownies" - and spits
the mouthful of cum into a bowl of brownie mix. fucked up huh? I want to die.


(xterm) The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a
capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels
off of everything and let the problem solve itself?


(Beeth) Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already
taken.
(honx) well, you can stil get one from a strange country :-P


(blazemore) LITTLETON, Colo. - Colorado officials plan to try a 15-year-old boy
as an adult for allegedly offering a Sony PlayStation to have his aunt killed.
(FlipTopBx) is it modded?


(Zanthis(ALE)) AFK, tornado


(+kritical) christin: you need to learn how to figure out stuff yourself..
(+Christin1) how do i do that


(BombScare) i beat the internet
(BombScare) the end guy is hard


(Kazz) Do vampires have anuses? Cause that's why I wouldn't let this kid invade
a vampire's anus in this RPG, right, I was GMing, and his character was an Anus
Shade, with the power to possess and control the anuses of people and animals..
and I figured that vampires don't have anuses.
(Zaratustra) a vampire's anus is present, but non-working.
(Zaratustra) like a network card without the appropriate driver.
(Kazz) Wow. You're the biggest dork on Earth.
(Sharkey) And you're DMing an rpg with Anus Shades.


(@Logan) I spent a minute looking at my own code by accident.
(@Logan) I was thinking "What the hell is this guy doing?"


* ab is away - gone, if anyone talks in the next 25 minutes as me it's bm
being an asshole -
(ab) HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS


(studdud) what the fuck is wtf


*** Signoff: Morpheus (Connection reset by peer)
*** Morpheus ([e-mail]) has joined
channel #relax
(Morpheus) argh.. that wasn't my speaker cable


(Raize) can you guys see what I type?
(vecna) no, raize
(Raize) How do I set it up so you can see it?


(Hiroe) he was dressed as a big fuckin devil
(Hiroe) like, HUGE costume
(Hiroe) 8-foot lizard wings, giant horns on the head
(Hiroe) at some anime con in california
(Hiroe) they were double booked with a southern Baptist group in the same hotel
(Hiroe) he's riding the elevator down to the con space
(Hiroe) doors open, little old baptist woman standing there
(Hiroe) he just says "Going Down" in his best evil voice


(calin) we had a guy at school that wore black lipstick.. and was all gothy..
and then one day we caught him buying an assvibrator
(ecoli) ew.
(ecoli) wait, you "caught" him?
(ecoli) like, you were behind him in line at the assvibrator store?
(Aero) he doesnt answer
*** Quits: calin (No route to host)


(Opcode) i was gonna call 911...but i was downloading a file


(ckx) women ask for it
(ckx) they act all old and mature
(ckx) and then you stick your cock up their ass
(ckx) and they get all bitchy
(ckx) "I"M ONLY 13, I'M ONLY 13!!!"


(Thumb) do you know of any major organizations that are similar the CDC?
(Lucent) who?
(Thumb) center for disease control
(Lucent) i said WHO
(Thumb) what? i'm asking you
(Lucent) World Health Organization


(mp) i am convinced i am a woman
(Oreoboros) mp: Why's that?
(mp) cuz i went to bed bath and beyond for a shower curtain and left with $700
worth of shit
(mp) and i had to go back because i realized after i checked out that i forgot
to buy a fucking shower curtain


(blazemore) i need to find a used ddr 3rd mix machine
*** Joins: DigDug ([e-mail])
(AlmtyBob) good fucking luck
(AlmtyBob) you're looking at $8000 wihtout shipping
(AlmtyBob) even used
(DigDug) whatcha talking about, bob?
(AlmtyBob) a filipina chick
(AlmtyBob) the ones you buy in exchange for bringing them to the us
(blazemore) my dad is thinking about helping pay for one so we can stick it in
an arcade and make some money :o


(incarnate) hey cres, I know what you're thinking right now
(incarnate) " "
(cres) i dont get it


* dregan kicks Yamucha in the nuts
* dregan stamps on Yamucha's neck
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Yamucha
(dregan) Oh shit.


::: .enter@6.53p) _YOU (harpeet@149.99.97.190)
~ _YOU HAVE RECEIVED A FATAL ERROR, PRESS ALT + F4 TO REPAIR THIS IMMEDIATELY
::: .signoff@6.53p) _YOU (harpeet@149.99.97.190); ...
::: .signoff@6.53p) BlueBold ([e-mail]); Leaving
::: .signoff@6.53p) ic3d ([e-mail]); Leaving
::: .signoff@6.53p) CoolJeff4 ([e-mail]); Leaving


(blazemore) omg i love this song
(blazemore) Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2 @ 128 Kbps. (0:47/3:24)
(Javi) blazemore: yeah, that's a bad ass song


(FlipTopBox) wow... spam in my hotmail inbox: "See Girls with buckets of cum
all over their faces!
(Slant) FlipTopBox: Dude. Give them some credit, it's hard to balance a bucket
on your face.


serluny: how long did it took u to learn c?
ReDPriest:4.5 minutes
serluny:how did u do that?
ReDPriest:i downloaded it into my brain..i got a program to do
that
serluny:what program
ReDPriest:download shit into your brain v3.1
serluny:how do i download it?
ReDPriest: go to www.downloadable-shit-for-your-brain.com
serluny:i cant download it something is wrong


(django23) I have a stupid question: what does "sendmail" do?
(Epesh) django: you're right, that is pretty stupid


(FreshBrew) IM DONT MATH FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
(FreshBrew) HELL FUCKING YES
(kolby) you still in english?


(Alcaron) You should set yourself up a webcam. I don't know why, but I get this
feeling we'll catch you doing something stupid. :)
(Longi) Alcaron: thats exactly the reason i wont set one up, the high
probablity of me doing someone extremely embarassing
(Longi) err?
(Longi) THING
(Longi) someTHING!


(Plot) I was either going to die now
(Plot) or get 80% third degree burns atleast
(Plot) someone had the gas nob opened
(Plot) I went into kitchen
(Plot) switched a bulb
(Plot) and wham
(Plot) kitchen was filled with one big ass fire ball
(theForger) woah dude
(C--) damn
(Jyrsija) jesus
(ThaDragon) If you just blow up your kitchen, and then proceed to get on IRC
and tell people about it, you might be a junkie.


(Bizzy) say Æ Ø Y
(DAL9000) Æ Ø Y
(DAL9000) easy to say
(DAL9000) f00
(DA