copied from "National Post" part 2

[Gość: From "National"]

8) "Weapons of Mass Destruction.
Remember them? Not a single one has yet
been found" (Bill Neely, ITV, April 10th)

MBITRW: Actually, I almost wish this one
were true. Anything that turns up now will be
assumed to have been planted. If I were
Washington, I'd consider burying anything I
found. After all, an America that feels no
need to bother faking justifications for
invasion would be far more alarming to most
Europeans. Instead, horrible things will turn
up, but will never be "conclusive" enough for
the French, who've got all the receipts
anyway.

9) "Iraq was a new country cobbled together
from several former Ottoman provinces, its
lines drawn by the Europeans" (Mark
Mazower, The Independent, April 7th). It's a
phony state, you can never make a go of it.

MBITRW: There's nothing in the least bit
"cobbled" about it. The three Ottoman
vilayets of Mosul, Baghdad and Basra have
been bound together geographically,
politically and economically for millennia. As
a coherent jurisdiction, it makes more sense
than, say, Belgium, or, come to that,
Canada. As long as you respect its
inherently confederal nature, it'll work fine:
Think St. Kitts and Nevis writ large. A year
from now, Iraq will be, at a bare minimum,
the least worst governed state in the Arab
world and, at best, pleasant, civilized and
thriving.

10) "Reporters were pressing the issue of
deteriorating Canada-U.S. relations" (The
Sudbury Star, April 10th)

MBITRW: Nonsense. "America and Canada
will always be best friends," insists Canadian
Information Minister John Muhammad
al-Manley, "and anyone who says otherwise
will have his tongue ripped out and roasted
in Hell! The infidel Bush has not cancelled his
state visit! He is in Canada now! He spends
every weekend in Shawinigan! The whole
world knows that!"

* EDITOR'S NOTE: Due to unfortunate
technical difficulties, one of the above Top
Ten phony quagmires is, in fact, a real
quagmire. There are some quagmires you
can't do anything about ...