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Do smiechu

20.01.14, 13:16
Zakladam watek gdzie mozna opowiadac dowcipy, wklejac karykatury itp.

Na poczatek troche humoru angielskiego :

1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big pecker or a good memory ... I don't remember which I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings..."

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men : 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.

6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small.

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Question: What's an Australian kiss ? Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.

15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life ? Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.

16. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Answer: Breasts don't have eyes.

17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!
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    • ach_dama_byc_z_kanady Re: Do smiechu 21.01.14, 02:25
      Super :D
      My favorite #7

      Church Bulletin Funnies

      The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

      Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

      The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.

      Remember in prayer the many that are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

      Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

      The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: 'Break Forth Into Joy.'

      Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious
      pleasure to the congregation.

      For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
      nursery downstairs.

      Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the
      help they can get.

      Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the
      church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

      Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

      The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may
      be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

      This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across
      from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

      Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies
      are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.

      Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use
      the back door.

      The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
      basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

      Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
      Please use large double door at the side entrance.

      The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign
      slogan: Last Sunday: ''I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours'

      Minnie
      CBF
      • ach_dama_byc_z_kanady Re: Do smiechu 21.01.14, 02:32
        https://funny-pics-fun.com/wp-content/uploads/Cartoons-Make-You-Laugh-18.jpg

        https://jokideo.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Funny-cartoon-Science-Teachers.jpg
        • ach_dama_byc_z_kanady Re: Do smiechu 21.01.14, 02:45
          https://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-laughing001.gif

          www.ahajokes.com/funny-pictures/view/744/zoooom

          Minnie
        • roseanne Re: Do smiechu 21.01.14, 03:23
          funny:-)
          • maria421 Re: Do smiechu 21.01.14, 09:00
            A propos zab zamiast plemnikow- coz nie jedna zabe trzeba pocalowac zanim sie na ksiecia trafi :-)
            • ach_dama_byc_z_kanady Re: od migrenika... 22.01.14, 07:53
              https://guidetowomen.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/linda_causey_a_visit_fom_the_migraine_fairy_2001small_en.gif%3Fw%3D640

              https://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/health-beauty-acupuncture-headaches-chronic_headaches-migraines-stab-vsh1087l.jpg

              https://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/ksm/lowres/marriage-relationships-husband-headaches-mallets-making_excuses-sore_heads-ksmn3080l.jpg

              Minnie

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