Have dinner ready...

[Gość: Bert]

I was running a search and look what I got. It is too
good not to post. From Housekeeping Monthly, 1955.
Oh, boy...



The Good Wife's Guide

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before,
to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return.
This is a way of letting him know that you have been
thinking about him and are concerned about his needs.
Most man are hungry when they come home and the
prospect of a good meal, especially his favorite dish,
is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be
refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a
ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just
been with a lot of work-weary people.

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him.
His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties
is to provide it.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the
main part of the house just before your husband
arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc. and
then run a dust cloth over the tables.

Over cooler months of the year you should prepare and
light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will
feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it
will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his
comfort will provide you with immense personal
satisfaction.

Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the
children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb
their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes.
They are little treasures and he would like to see them
playing the part. Minimise all noise. At the time of
his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer
and vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

Be happy to see him.

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your
desire to please him.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to
tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the
right time. Let him talk first ? remember, his topics
of conversation are more important than yours.

Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home
late or goes out to dinner, or other places, without
you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and
pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of
peace, order and tranquility where your husband can
renew himself in body and spirit.

Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

Don't complain if he is late home for dinner or even if
he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to
what he might have gone through that day.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back, in a
comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom.
Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

Arrange pillows and offer to take his shoes. Speak in a
low, soothing and pleasing voice.

Don't ask him questions about his actions or question
his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master
of the house and as such will always exercise his will
with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to
question him.

A good wife always knows her place.

[Gość: erwas]

Gość portalu: Bert napisał(a):

OK, all that makes sense.
there is one thing I would question, though:
> Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the
> children's hands and faces (if they are small)
how do you determine if your children's hands and faces are the right size?
and does washing really help them reach their correct size?

erwas

[Gość: Bert]

Actually, the paragraph stinks and should be re-written:

...If you discover the children's hands and faces have
grown disproportionately huge stop immediately. Ask
yourself the question: "When did I see my children last
time?" If you don't recall, are you sure these are your
children? As naturally as night follows day, babies
follow marriage. Are you sure you are married? Is the man
you are waiting for your beloved husband? If that is not
the case, you don't need to worry. Forget the
preparation. You are in luck. Relax and wait for him to
serve you dinner.
If you realize you are married to another man do not
panic. Run like hell to where he lives and start reading
the guide from the beginning.

[maggie7]

:o)

love and marriage...

[Gość: erwas]

...go together like a horse and carriage,
you can't have one,
you can't have one
without the ooooooooooooooooTHER!

Gość portalu: Bert napisał(a):

> As naturally as night follows day, babies
> follow marriage.

and a dark and stormy night it is.
in the wan, dingy gloom of morn lift the tender harvest of your passion, the
pink fruit of your loins, from its cozy crib. immerse it gently in a frothy,
over the counter baby purgation product in solemn ablution. scour, swab and
scrub, rub, purge and wipe a carefully selected single part of the baby. share
this magic, intimate instant with your loved one. watch, cheek to cheek, as
your suckling lambkin swells and billows in parts.

well, maybe not.

[Gość: Bert]

Gość portalu: erwas napisał(a):

"and a dark and stormy night it is."
Dammit, another power outage.

"in the wan, dingy gloom of morn"
The painters messed up color matching and haven?t showed
up yet.

"lift the tender harvest of your passion, the pink fruit
of your loins, from its cozy crib."
Al, where is the darn crib? Al?!... Al, you don't care
anymore!
Sure I do, I just want to have a beer while I'm caring.


"immerse it gently in a frothy, over the counter baby
purgation product in solemn ablution."
Don't toy with me, woman!
Peg, in this house we obey the laws of thermal dynamics.
No power, no heat! No heat, no froth!


"scour, swab and scrub, rub, purge and wipe a carefully
selected single part of the baby."
Peg, I don't know what you are doing but it's very
strange and I am trying to worry.

"share this magic, intimate instant with your loved one."
No, you hold it. I have to scratch myself in two places
at the same time.

"watch, cheek to cheek, as your suckling lambkin swells
and billows in parts."
Peg, look what you have done! I don't understand this
senseless violence.

well, maybe not.