Genie in the bottle

[kingfish]

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a bottle.
She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared. The
amazed woman asked if she got three wishes.

The Genie said, "Nope, sorry three-wish genies are a fairy-tale myth.
I'm a one-wish genie. So...what'll it be?"

The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East.
See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other
and I want all the Arabs to love Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It
will bring about world peace and harmony."

The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lady, be reasonable.
These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm out
of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years. I'm good but not
THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish and please be
reasonable."

The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to
find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to
cook and helps with the house cleaning, is great in bed and gets along with
my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That's what I
wish for - a good man."

The Genie let out a long sigh, shook his head and said, "Let me see
that map again."

Meet the folks!

[glory]

A young girl confesses she's pregnet.
"Bring me the pig who did this to you!" her mum screams. The girl quickly
makes a phone call and soon after a Ferrari pulls up. Outsteps a distinguished
gentleman, handsome and impeccable dressed. He sits down in the living room.
"Good afternoon",he greets the family. "Your daughter has told me of the
situation. I'm unable to marry her but I'will take full resoinsibility.
If it's girl,I'll bequeath her three shops, two town houses, and a $1 million
bank account.If it's a boy, my legacy will be a factory and a $2 million
account.If it's twins,two factories and $500K each. However, if there's a
miscarriage....."The father,breking his silence, places a hand on the man's
shoulder: "You'll pork her again, right?!.

:-)====>Microsoft Engineer

[kingfish]

There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical
engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of
the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be
wrong.
The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and
trying to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineer, not
knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified
and getting blocked somewhere.

Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a
suggestion, "Why don't we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open
the windows again, and maybe it'll work !?"

[kingfish]

Arguing with an Engineer is a lot like wrestling in the mud with a pig: After
a few hours, you realize the pig likes it.

[kingfish]

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible
designers of the human body. One said, ``It was a mechanical engineer. Just
look at all the joints.'' Another said, ``No, it was an electrical engineer.
The nervous systems many thousands of electrical connections.'' The last said,
``Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline
through a recreational area?''