father's name?

[butter_fly]

dragged from another forum;)


The following are all replies that women have put on British Child Support
Agency forms in the section for listing father's details:

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by
[name removed]. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but
I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being
sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you
with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived
at a party [address and date given] where I had unprotected sex with a man I
met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you
do manage to track down the father can you send me his phone number? Thanks.

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW
that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps
you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it
replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from Pope
confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ
risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so
would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the
British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the
country. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies look the
same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.

8. [name given] is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him can you
ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro Disney
maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for
sure is Delia Smith did a programme about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd
have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at [address
given] mine might have remained unfertilised.

[lilian_ka]

Is it really authentic??? 2 is absolutely hilarious :)))

[butter_fly]

lilian_ka napisała:

> Is it really authentic??? 2 is absolutely hilarious :)))



No idea.

Read the following:

The Stella Awards

The 'Stellas' are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on
herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella awards
for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.


Unfortunately, the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonald's, the teen's who
allege that eating at McDonald's has made them fat, was filed after the 2002
award voting was closed. This suit will top the 2003 list without question.

Here are this year's winners:

5th Place (tie):

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of Her
peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a
furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the
verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.


5th Place (tie):

19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when
his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently
didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to
steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

5th Place (tie):

Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had Just
finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the Garage door
to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-
enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he
pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr.Dickson found himself locked
in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a
large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the
situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of
$500,000.



4th Place

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and Medical
expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle.
The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than
sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just little provoked at
the time by Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into the yard and was
shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.


3rd Place:

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of
Lancaster,Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke
her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had
thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.


2nd Place:

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club
in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and
knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms Walton was trying to
sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover
charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.


1st Place:

This year's run away winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home.On his first
trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, he set
the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the
back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R. V.left the
freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising
him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this.The jury awarded
him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their
manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete
morons buying recreation vehicles.


************

And now check it out:

www.snopes.com/legal/lawsuits.asp