another polish joke?

[Gość: joanna]

Polish Divorce



A Polish man married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada a year or

so and, although his English was far from perfect, they got on very well.

Until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could

arrange a divorce for him-"very quick".



The lawyer said that the speed of getting a divorce would depend on the

circumstances and asked him the following questions:



LAWYER: Have you any grounds ?



POLE: JA, JA, an acre and half and a nice little home with 3

bedrooms.



LAWYER "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"



Pole: "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," he responded.



LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"



POLE: "No," he replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really

needed one."



LAWYER "I mean, What are your relations like?"



POLE: "All my relations are in Poland."



LAWYER: "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"



POLE: "Yes, we have hi fidelity stereo set & DVD player with 6.1 sound. We

don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."



LAWYER: No, I mean Does your wife beat you up?



POLE: NO, I'm always up before her.



LAWYER: Is your wife a nagger?



POLE: NO, she white.



LAWYER: WHY do you want this divorce?



POLE: SHE going to kill me.



LAWYER: What makes you think that?



POLE: I got proof.



LAWYER: What kind of proof?



POLE: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at the drug store and put on

shelf in bathroom. I can read - it says, "Polish Remover".

słabiutki ten kawał....

[Gość: corgan]

[oralhella]

nie dosc ze slaby to staaaaaaaary/starszy nawet od naszej Luizy/

Znam Lepszy

[flipflap]

A fellow steps into a store and ask
- can I have two pounds of potatoes and couple sour pickles

Salesman said
- You mast be a Polish
- Why are you so sure about that? Because, I asked about a potatos he, he?

- Not. Because it is a hardware store – answered a clerk.

now that i think of it

[Gość: joanna]

it kind of sucks w porownaniu z tymi tuningami, corgan : ) takie slabe
reviews : ( zostalam potraktowana brutalnie, but i guess i deserved it. tutaj
trzeba zwazyc 10 razy zanim sie cos chlapnie. this place is TOUGH. ale nigdzie
nie ide. tak jak w tej piosence. i get knocked out but i get up again... ; )
see y'all later.

Mnie Twój kawał bardzo się podobał.............n/t

[filipek.us]

that's sweet : )

[Gość: joanna]

kochany jestes filipek : ) dzieki za boost. i needed that. tylko na mnie
jakiego swinstwa z archiwow nie wyciagaj : )) pozdrawiam.

a ty to w ogole

[Gość: joanna]

masz chyba jakis glebszy problem:

• Moja córeczka skończy 2 latka w środę!!!! IP: *.neoplus.adsl.tpnet.pl
Gość: Anka 14.02.2004 23:11 odpowiedz na list


Witam wszystkich !
Moja córeczka w środę (tj.18 lutego ) skończy dwa latka.!!!!!

Pozdrawiam Anka



• Re: Moja córeczka skończy 2 latka w środę!!!!
oralhella 16.02.2004 02:19 odpowiedz na list


I co z tego?



• Re: Moja córeczka skończy 2 latka w środę!!!! IP: *.neoplus.adsl.tpnet.pl
Gość: tomek 16.02.2004 15:05 odpowiedz na list


oralhella napisała:

> I co z tego?

no z tego co napisalas wynika, ze masz problem z kultura osobista...
bowiem jezeli Cie watek nie interesuje,
to sie w nim nie udzielasz..
z reszta twoj nick mowi za Ciebie....

dostajesz 0 w skali 1-10 .. jezeli chodzi o sens wypowiedzi..
bowiem z tego ze mala konczy 2 latka .. wynika mnostwo spraw )))

widac ze nie jestes matka...

pozdrawiam wszystkie mamy , ktore ciesza sie ze swoich pociech
tak jak p. Ania

takze cie nie ruszam bo walisz na dystans.

a z corganem to my jestesmy "like that" ; )) nie corgan? takze wybaczam.

[flipflap]

A plane of Polish LOT airlines crashed into a grave yard.
So far a resque teams dicovered one thousend bodies.

[judge_judy]

How do you stop a Polish army on horseback?
Turn off the carousel.

[nocna.mara]

Joanna jest debilem, buahahahahahaha

tebe

What does it say on the bottom of Coke.pl bottles?

[filipek.us]

nocna maro,
What does it say on the bottom of Polish Coke bottles?

[Gość: VIP-1]

za glupi, nie zrozumie

[waldek.usa]

Bingo!

[filipek.us]

But you spoiled the pleasure for nocna mara

[waldek.usa]

Ile mozna qrwa czekac, pewnie tak kombinowal, az mu korki wysiadly hehehe.

[judge_judy]

polski kombat w Iraku:

What do you do if a Polak throws a pin at you? Run like hell - he's still got
a hand-grenade between his teeth.

[judge_judy]

Q: What is long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night?
A: A new last name.

no to jak stare kawaly to cos o..

[judge_judy]

Australian Immigration Criteria

Joke Submitted By: Kiwi


A Kiwi was hoping to immigrate to Australia. Upon arriving
in Australia, he was questioned by a customs officer,
"What is your business in Australia?"

"I wish to immigrate," was the Kiwi's reply.

The customs officer then asked, "Do you have a conviction
record?"

Confused, the Kiwi then replied, "I didn't think you still
needed one."

qrwa,masochisci czy..zydy ?

[Gość: Old Shatterhand]

jedni i drudzy zdaje sie ze nie lubia Polakow.

Smieszny zart:

[Gość: grafiti]

Malarze maluja kosciol. Oczywiscie sa troche podpici. Ksiadz sie ich pyta:
a co teraz bedziecie malowac? Jeden z nich odpowiada: Tu chmureczka, tam
chmureczka. Tu pierdolne anioleczka. Tam gwiazdke przy_jebie. I byndzie jak w
niebie.

hehehe

[i.p.freely]

Mam jeszcze jeden:
-What does an old Polish guy say after sticking his finger in the fuel pump
nozzle?

-It does not feel like Ethyl!

[waldek.usa]

directory.google.com/Top/Recreation/Humor/Jokes/Ethnic/

[koszalek.opalek3]

A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.
His friend Doug stops him and asks, "Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer
for? " "I got it for my wife, eh." answers Bob. "Oh!" exclaims Doug,
"Good trade."

[koszalek.opalek3]

Three men were traveling and happened to meet at a bar in
Ohio. One man was from Texas, one from Florida and one from Canada.
They got acquainted and started talking about their problems with their
wives. The guy from Texas began by saying, "I told my wife clearly
that from now on she would have to do all of the cooking. Well, the first day
after I told her, I saw nothing. The second day I saw nothing, but on the third
day when I came home from work, the table was set, and a wonderful
dinner was prepared with wine and even dessert."

Then the man from Florida spoke up "I sat my wife down and
told her, that from now on she would have to do all the grocery shopping and
all of the house cleaning. The first day I saw nothing. The second day I
saw nothing. But the third day, when I came home, the whole house was
spotless, and in the pantry the shelves were filled with groceries."

The fellow from Canada was married to a woman who had grown up
in Canada all her life. He sat up straight on the bar stool, pushed out his
chest and said. "I gave my wife a stern look and told her, that from now
on she would have to do the cooking, shopping and house cleaning. Well, the
first day I saw nothing. The second day I saw nothing. But by the third
day, I could see a little bit out of my left eye."

You Gotta Love them Canadian Women!

Driving rules in USA

[koszalek.opalek3]

1. A right-lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can
cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for
the same drivers to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange
construction barrels.

2. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real driver never uses them.

3. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the
car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you
in an even more dangerous situation.

4. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered 'going with
the flow.'

5. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of
getting hit.

6. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork.

7. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS
kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For
those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

8. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.

9. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions, and are
apparently not enforceable during rush hour.

10. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move
over doesn't mean that a driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think
he can go faster in your spot.

11. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident, or even if someone
is just changing a tire.

12. Throwing litter on the roads adds color to the landscape and gives
Adopt-a-Highway crews something to clean up.

13. It is assumed that state police cars passing at high speed may be followed
in the event you need to make up a few minutes on your way to work, or the beach.

14. Remember that the goal of every good driver is to get there first, by
whatever means necessary.

15. Real female drivers can put on pantyhose, apply eye makeup, and balance the
checkbook at seventy-five miles per hour during a snowstorm in bumper-to-bumper
traffic.

Kopiować to kopiujesz Koszałek. Ale nic ponad to:(

[filipek.us]

It seems to be the classic case of a passive English (
But your Polish REALLY sucks.
cha! cha! cha!

przypalek opalek

[Gość: joanna]

polecial trzy posty na raz i wszystkie po angielsku. teraz go tu przez pare dni
nie bedzie. musi sily zregenerowac i mozdzek ostudzic.

[monari]

Podabaja mi sie dowcipy ))))))

Zwlaszcza ten o polish remover )))))))))))