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...I Did Not Choose... Christianity, Homosexuality & the Bible

IP: * 01.10.01, 21:13
I Did Not Choose To Be This
by auther of

My first heterosexual feelings dawned on me when I was ten years old. I had a
crush on literally the boy next door. His name was Chris, and he was in the
same grade as me. My older brother was friends with him, and when he would go
over to Chris's house to shoot hoops with him in the driveway, sometimes I
would come by just to "bug" them. We also carpooled with him along with a
number of other neighborhood kids, and Chris would make it a point loudly to
call me "worm" and "slime ball" as he sat in the back seat with my brother and
laughed. I guess he must have liked me too.

There was really nothing to be ashamed of. I was a girl who liked a boy, and he
seemed to like me back. What's more, I knew that all the other girls thought he
was cute, so there was nothing wrong with my choice. What troubled me, I think,
was the way these feelings had taken me by surprise. They sort of crept up on
me when I wasn't looking, and by the time they became so full-blown that Chris
and I were hurling abuse at each other on a regular basis, it was too late to
do anything about it.

In other words, the feelings seemed completely out of my control. For a person
like myself who dislikes being out of control, it was bewildering and downright
scary how they just invited themselves into my heart without my permission, and
then refused to go away.

I have read many stories that sound just like mine, about a person's first
crush in elementary school and the dawning of the strange feelings that come
with it, except the stories I have read were about the dawning of homosexual
feelings, the moment when a person first felt attracted to someone else of the
same gender. This made me wonder, what makes the difference between the
heterosexual and the homosexual experience at this period of a person's life?
Why is one person's feelings directed toward someone of the opposite sex and
another person's feelings toward someone of the same sex?

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