fibin
03.11.04, 17:02
A Letter From A Redneck Mother To Her Son
Dear Son,
I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where
we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen
within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the
address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with
them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address. This
place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled
the chain and haven't seen 'em since. It only rained twice this week, three
days the first time and four days the second time. The coat you wanted me to
send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail
with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We
got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final
payment on Grandma's funderal bill, up she comes. About your sister, she had
a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so
don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey
vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he
drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. Three of your friends
went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in
the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safery.
The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down. Not much more news
this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me
know and I will send another one.
Love, Ma