A Small Bet - Narrative...

[bbiedrooneczkaa]

A Small Bet

I will never forget my first camping holiday. I had a great time and I met a
lots of new friends. One day, my friend and I betted on boys that we will
give the slip from camp. It was frantic. We had to go to the cemetery and
took a teddy bear which boys had hidden.

At 2 a.m we got up with our beds and looked on at a window. Everybody were
sleeping and on the camp was very silently. We left from our house.
Everything was right, but it was very dark also. We looked on
themselves. “Will we go?” – I asked. She shook her head only.

On the cemetery fear invaded us, but we did not want to recede. “Let's hold
together” – My friend suggested. “You are absolutely right” – I said and
smiled a bit. We entered. I fear cemetery at day, but what can I say about
cemetery at night? We were walking at the main lane. The teddy bear lay on
the earth near a corner. Rapidly we picked up it and we cried aloud together -
“Victory!”. But it was too early for a joy! Gate was closed. We pulled it
firmly, but gate did not want to open. “Good gracious! And what’s now?” – I
mumbled.

Suddenly we heard a familiar laugh. The boys made us a little joke, but it
was not funny. We sighed with relief until our house. Today, I’m calling this
story to mind with smile, but I know that I did not do the same one more
time. It was very horrible.

[bbiedrooneczkaa]

Oj, za szybko wysłałam :)

Czy znajdzie się dobra duszyczka i sprawdzi mi to opowiadanie ? Z góry bardzo
dziękuję !! Pozdrawiam.

[hanula]

[lojalne ostrzeżenie: w poniższe treści wkradła się zgryźliwość; osoby o słabych
nerwach proszone są o opuszczenie wątku]

> I met a
> lots of new friends.

a lots - nie może być

> One day, my friend and I betted on boys that we will
> give the slip from camp. It was frantic. We had to go to the cemetery and
> took a teddy bear which boys had hidden.

Jest godzina druga w nocy, jak nie przymierzając w twoim opowiadaniu, więc mój
mózg zapewnie nie funkcjonuje tak, jak powinien. Ale za cholerę nie rozumiem, o
co ci chodzi. Wild guess: założyłyście się z chłopakami, że wyjdziecie z
obozu??? (One day my friend and I had a bet with the boys that we would sneak
out of the camp.) Dlaczego "frantic"???
a teddy bear which THE boys had hidden

> At 2 a.m we got up with our beds

wstałyście z łóżkami?

> and looked on at a window.

i patrzyłyście na na okno?
Na na na na na na na na na na, baby give it up, give it up, baaaaaby give it up.

> Everybody were

was

> sleeping and on the camp was very silently.

po co tu przysłówek?

> We left from our house.

We left the house. Elvis has left the building. Zaraz zaraz, jaki "house", skoro
to były "camping holiday"??? "Camping" jest pod namiotem!

> Everything was right,

Wszystko było prawo?

> but it was very dark also.

Wykreślić also.

> We looked on
> themselves.

Argh. Niemożebyć. Ty spojrzałaś na nią, a ona na ciebie? We looked at each
other. Każda z was spojrzała na siebie? We looked at ourselves.

> “Will we go?” – I asked.

A gdybyś była Angielką, zapytałabyś: "Shall we?"

> She shook her head only.

Potrząsnęła głową, że nie, ale mimo to w kolejnym zdaniu jesteście na cmentarzu?
To po co było pytać?
Aha, jest takie pożyteczne słówko "just".

> On the cemetery fear invaded us, but we did not want to recede.

To bardzo ładnie, że pracujesz ze słownikiem, ale te słówka są zbyt formalne do
tego tekstu. At the cemetry we got scared, but we didn't want to go back.

> “Let's hold together” – My friend suggested.

"What do you mean?" I asked.
trzymać się razem, nie rozdzielać się = keep together, stay together
trzymać się za ręce = hold hands

> “You are absolutely right
> 221;

221 to twoja ksywa?

> – I said and
> smiled a bit.

Nie można się uśmiechnąć a bit. Uśmiechnij się weakly.

> We entered.

We went in. Enter to może sobie smok albo dane do komputera.

> I fear cemetery

I'm afraid of

tego konkretnego? the cemetery
cmentarzy w ogóle? cemeteries

> at day,

by day

> but what can I say about
> cemetery

jw

> at night? We were walking at the main lane.

We followed the main... lane? Może raczej path.

> The teddy bear lay on
> the earth

on the ground

> near a corner.

Jakiego rogu? Jakoś nie mogę sobie wyobrazić rogu na głównej ścieżce cmentarza.

> Rapidly we picked up it

We picked it up quickly.
Naprawdę nie będzie ładniej, jak zawsze użyjesz trudniejszego z dwóch znanych
sobie słówek.

> But it was too early for a joy!

But we spoke too soon. (Albo tutaj: But we cried too soon.)

> Gate

Przedimek!!!

> was closed. We pulled it
> firmly, but gate

Przedimek!!!

> “Good gracious! And what’s now?”

Good gracious! Now what?

> We sighed with relief until our house.

until we got back to our tent

> Today, I’m calling this
> story to mind with smile,

Today I recall this story with a smile
Today I can remember this story with a smile
Today I can smile when I recall this story

> but I know that I did not do the same one more
> time.

Chwila moment. "Nie zrobiłabym" przetłumaczyłaś na "I did not"?
Zamiast one more time napisz again.

> It was very horrible.

Nie mówi się "very horrible". It was horrible. It was awful. It was dreadful. I
hated every moment of it.

[bo.tak]

Super tłumaczenie, aż się uśmiechnęłam do monitora :)

>> but I know that I did not do the same one more
>> time.

>Chwila moment. "Nie zrobiłabym" przetłumaczyłaś na "I did not"?
>Zamiast one more time napisz again.

but I know I'd never ever do it again. :)