Jokes concerning SAP

[amoremio]

Proponuje watek-kolekcje
zarcików o SAPie. :)

grozny SAP

[amoremio]

grafikfreunde-stuttgart.de/05_arbeiten/bernd_schifferdecker/arbeiten_pics/bs_sap_netz.jpg

smutna, straszna, ale prawda

[amoremio]

img113.imageshack.us/my.php?image=sapdl8.jpg

;-)

[resti]

www.consultantreview.com/index.php?viewimage/id:12

[apx1]

Kilka tłumaczeń skrótu SAP :

(S)hit (A)nswers to (P)roblems in Dataprocessing
(S)ome (A)nswers to (P)roblems in Dataprocessing
(S)tart (A)dding (P)atches
(S)teets (A)ndere (P)roblemen. (german = Immer weitere Problemen)
After purchase: Such A Pain
Before you purchase: Solves All Problems
SAPpel nich, dat geit
Sales of alien products
Sales off: alien products
Salary Appreciation Program.
Stop All Production
Save and pray
Spend And Pray!
Sell And Pray
soon as possible
SMTP after POP
Sick And Pain
Submit And Pray
smile and pay
Security Agency for the Pope
Scream And Puke?
Suffer After Purchase
Suffer and Pay
See After Playing
See Administrators Panic
Server Advertising Protokoll (NetWare)
Sex And Pornography
Simple Application Program
Sit And Play
Solve All Problems
scrimp alcaline phosphatase.
Some Alternative Problems

[daniel_gk]

Stress And Panic

[amoremio]

1. (S)tart (A)dding (P)atches
2. Salary Appreciation Program
3. Spend A Pound, Safe A Penny
4. (SAP)Scripts Are Painful
5. See After Playing
6. See Administrators Panic
7. Send another payment
8. Shoot Again, Players !
9. Simple Application Program
10. Simply A Program
11. Sit And Play
12. Sit And Pray
13. Smile And Pay
14. Sodding Awful Program
15. Solves All Problems
16. Structural Adjustment Programme
17. Send Another Payment
18. Shrink Approved Profitbase
19. Security Administrators%u2019 Profit
20. ABAP: (a)lways (b)etter (a)lternatives (p)ossible

[pp04]

Start And Pray

[servee]

Pewnego razu pastuch przepedzal swoje owce z jednego pastwiska na drugie.
Nagle, w kłębach kurzu i z rykiem silnika zatrzymało sie przy nim nowiutkie
BMW. Kierowcą był mlody czlowiek w garniturze Prada, butach Gucci'ego,
okularach Dior'a itd, itd. Typowy yuppie. Koles wystawil sie przez opuszczana
szybke i pyta:
- Czy jezeli powiem Ci ile dokladnie masz owiec w stadzie, dasz mi jedną z nich?
Owczarz popatrzyl na facia, na swoje stado i odpowiedzial:
- Jasne, czemu nie?
Yuppie zaparkowal samochód. Wyciągnął notebook DELL podlaczony do komorki AT&T.
Polaczyl sie z internetem, wszedl na strone NASA i za pomocą GPS dokladnie
okreslil swoja pozycje. Podal ja do innego satelity NASA, ktory zrobil zdjecie
obszaru w wysokiej rozdzielczosci. Mlody czlowiek otworzyl zdjecie uzywajac
Adobe Photoshop, przekonwertowl plik i wyslal go do centrum obrobki zdjęć
cyfrowych w Hamburgu. Po kilku sekundach na palmtopa przyszedl mail informujacy
go, ze zdjecie zostalo obrobione i podajacy adres, pod ktorym zostaly
zmagazynowane dane. Koles wszedl wiec do bazy danych SQL i sciagnal dane, a
nastepnie nakarmil nimi arkusz Excel'a wypchany setkami skomplikowanych
formulek. Po otrzymaniu wyniku wydrukowal na swojej mini drukarce HP LaserJet
pelny 150-stronicowy raport. Podal go pastuchowi i powiedzial:
- Masz w stadzie 1586 owiec.
- To prawda - powiedzial owczarz. - Jak przypuszczam, chcesz teraz wybrac sobie
jedna z nich? Stal spokojnie, obserwujac mlodego czlowieka rozgladajacego sie
wsrod stada, wybierajacego zwierzaka, a nastepnie ladujacego go do bagaznika
nowiutkiego BMW. Po czym odezwal sie znowu:
- Hej, a jak Ci powiem jaki jest Twoj zawód, to oddasz mi zwierzka?
Yuppie pomyslal przez chwilke, a nastepnie odparl:
- Jasne, czemu nie?
- Jestes konsultantem - powiedzial pastuch.
- O rany, niesamowite! Jak zgadles?
- Nie musialem zgadywac - rzekl owczarz. - Zjawiles sie tutaj nie wzywany,
ządając zaplaty za odpowiedz, ktora znalem, na pytanie, ktorego nigdy nie
zadawalem. A w dodatku gowno wiesz o mojej robocie. Oddawaj psa ... !!!

[amoremio]

TOP 20 ANSWERS YOU NEED TO KNOW TO BE AN SAP EXPERT CONSULTANT

1. It depends how you configure it.
2. That's not a good translation from German.
3. That's in another module.
4. How did you get there?
5. That's a good question. I'd like to see how that works myself.
6. That will be in the next release. I haven't actually seen it yet.
7. You wouldn't want to do that.
8. Let's try that and see what happens.
9. That's a Basis question.
10. I don't know, the "expert" will be here Monday. Be sure to ask him/her.
11. That's not the way it's supposed to work? what did you do?
12. You'll never need to do that, but if you do, call the hotline.
13. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.
14. An ABAP/4 report can be written to get that information.
15. I'm sorry I have a plane to catch.
16. It's a bug.
17. Let me call the programmers in Walldorf.
18. OSS is down.
19. It's been fixed in the next release, but you don't want to upgrade at
this stage.
20. And the most important answer if you have no idea at all: That's outside
the scope of what we are doing.

[amoremio]

A po niemiecku, gdy oczekuja "ja" albo "nein"
bardzo praktyczne i czeste: "möglicherweise".
Czesto pomaga wyjsc z nieprzyjemnych sytuacji. :)

[amoremio]

A tourist walks into a pet shop in Manhattan, NY
and is browsing around the cages on display.

---

While he's there, another customer walks in
and says to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C Monkey, please."

The shopkeeper nods, goes over to a cage
at the side of the shop and takes out a monkey.
He fits a collar and leash and hands it
to the customer saying, "That'll be $5,000.00."

The customer pays and walks out with his monkey.

Startled, the tourist goes over to the shopkeeper
and says "That was a very expensive monkey
- most of them are only a few hundred dollars.
Why did it cost so much?"

"Ah, that monkey can program in C
- very fast, tight code, no bugs,
Y2K compliant, well worth the money."

-----

The tourist looks at the monkey in another cage.
"That one's even more expensive - $10,000 dollars!

What does it do?"

"Oh, that one's a C++ Monkey;
it can manage object-oriented Windows programming,
Visual C++, even some Java, all the really useful stuff."

-----

The tourist looks around for a little longer
and sees a third monkey in a cage of its own.
The price tag around its neck says $50,000.

He gasps to the shopkeeper, "That one costs
more than all the others put together!
What on earth does it do?"

"Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything,
but it says it's a SAP consultant."

[resource]

nie ma to jak email z pozdrowieniami z projektu...

tinyurl.com/yomatz

[wilhelm4]

A po pracy sapspec robi sport,
zeby pozostac flexible:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv5zWaTEVkI
czyli w kazdej sytuacji elastyczny

czyli forewer jang end seksi :)

[wilhelm4]

i zeby nastepne rano
byc fresh oraz positive and big,
pardon: pig thinking :
abutalib.indysla.iupui.edu/~asimmon/images/smile.jpg

[sir_crayo]

Życie....
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFAWR6hzZek&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Eacademiaderas%2Ero%2Fpage%2F12%2F

[lolek241]

wpadki programistów ;-)

www.sapfans.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=103417

[jacek.klasa]

A tak odpoczywaja konsultanci SAP - warto rozwazyc ;)

www.dropshots.com/photos/286710/20050930/153425.jpg

What if SAP made toasters…

[lolek241]

www.itcserver.com/blog/2007/04/26/what-if-sap-made-toasters/

[krzysztof.kuczek]

i jeszcze to :)
www.vault.com/messages/Accenture/Accenture1414850.html

[mm5m]

Krzysiek, ale ten zart to chyba nie o SAP jest.... :)

[krzysztof.kuczek]

No nie wiem, mi się kojarzy z SAP, sam nie wiem czemu :)))
Pozdro
Krzysiek

[semperfrei]

Ciekawe amerykanskie blabla.
Dla mnie to tez jest z rubryki: zarty.

www.gazetawyborcza.pl/1,80852,4166867.html