New Daffynitions in the English Language.

[Gość: gizmo]

For those of you who share my concern for the current "bastardization" of the
English language.

Word Lovers / Washington Post Annual Word Definitions

The Washington Post annually publishes a contest for readers in which they
are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. The following were
some of the winning entries in this year's contest.

1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer
the door in your nightie.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.), the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run
over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist
immediately before he examines you
13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish
expressions.

14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
15. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.