a small request

[malymiskudlaty]

could you kindly check if there is no mistakes in the text given?

"I really love my sisters-in -law. One of them pinched me in my cheek on my wedding day smudging my make-up. I had spent two hours to make it. The other one gave me a tweezer, a bellow and an anti-dandruff shampoo as a wedding gift. Once, the day being fine, we decided to go for a walk. While we were sauntering along the river promenade Zoe, the older of my sisters-in-law, started hoping out of a sudden. The passers-by started staring at us, but she seemed not to have notice their stares.
I didn't know where to put myself. I asked her to stop and she did. A few minutes later, she noticed a duck with its ducklings swimming on a river and a children feeding some pens. Touched with these phenomena, she started to cry loudly that it was probably the best walk in her entire live. "

The text I found in the interntet and they wanted it to be checked by somebody. I checked the mistakes and I am not sure if I've done it properly.
The girl who posted it in the forum is quite greedy one and she wanted to humiliate another girl. I want to help the other one:) However my English is of rather poor quality... :(

[malymiskudlaty]

if there are any mistakes - sorry for the headline

[galtom]

As it is Sunday, 7 AM an I am still going through my first coffee of the day only last sentence seems wrong to me.

> Touched with (by) these phenomena, she started to cry loudly
> that it was probably the best walk in her entire live (life).

and also...

> One of them pinched me in my cheek - One of them pinched my cheek

>I had spent two hours to make it. - wouldn't it be rather: I had spent two hours to making it.

Buuu.... boring - back to coffee - sorry :-)

[paulski]

> I really love my sisters-in -law. O.K.

>One of them pinched me on the cheek on my wedding day, smudging my make-up.

>I had spent two hours , putting it on.

>The other one gave me tweezers, a bellow (what bellow ?) and an anti-dandruff shampoo as a wedding gift.

>Once , the day being fine, we decided to go for a walk. O.K.

>While we were sauntering along the river promenade Zoe, the older of my sisters-in-law, (no comma) started hopping(?) out(up?) all of a sudden.

The passers-by started staring at us, but she seemed not to notice the) stares.

> I didn't know where to put myself. (? ...where to hide?)

> I asked her to stop it, and she did.


>A few minutes later, she noticed a duck with its ducklings swimming inthe river and children feeding some pens (Try swans. Can you tell a female swan from a male by just looking at it? I can't.)

>Touched with these phenomena, she started to cry loudly that it was probably the best walk in her entire live. "

That doesn't work.Try combinig both sentences into one:

A few minutes later, when she noticed a duck with its ducklings swimming in the river and children feeding swans nearby , she burst into tears, apparently deeply moved by the tranquility of the place. Was it really the best walk in her entire life?