d0minika

[d0minika]

Hi,
could you check my "opinion essay"? I would be really grateful.


Schools should provide computers for students to use for all their school
subjects


A computer is becoming an inevitable part of our progress. We use
computer to learn, work, for entertainment. There is no possibility to
survive in modern country without ability of computer service. That is the
reason why we must be able to cope with that convenient invention of XXth
century. Students need to have access to computers, which should be provided
by government for almost all lessons.
First of all, using computers makes learning more effective. For
instant, you don’t have to make tiring, time-consuming notes by hand – you
can use keyboard to note everything faster and more correct. Furthermore you
have more time to cooperate with teacher and to take an active part in
lesson.
Secondly, that is a big comfort for students as well as for teachers to use
computers during explaining new, difficult lessons, especially such ones
which consist on different experiments. As we know well not all of
experiments can be carried out in schools, but they can be easily replaced by
computer simulations, which would make difficult topics clearer.
On the other hand we must remember that we live in Poland. Our
government doesn’t have money for such basic things like salaries for
teachers, so it’s obvious that it can’t afford on such luxuries equipment
like computers to each class for each lesson. We must be reasonable and
realize our restrictions.
To sum up I must write that computer is the very important part of
education process. Unfortunately we can’t afford on equipping all schools
with enough number of computers. However, we should do everything to improve
present state, to give students a chance for effective learning.

ESSAY

[d0minika]

Nikt mi nie pomoże?
Chodzi mi po prostu o wyrzucenie jakichś błędow które Wam sie od razu rzucają w
oczy, nie o gruntowną korektę cąłego eseju:)

[mujer82]

d0minika napisała:

> Hi,
> could you check my "opinion essay"? I would be really grateful.
>
>
> Schools should provide computers for students to use for all their school
> subjects
>
>
> A computer is becoming an inevitable part of our progress. We use
> computer to learn, work, for entertainment(to learn,work and entertain
ourselves albo for learning, working and enterteinment-albo czasowniki albo
rzeczowniki i rzeczowniki odczasownikowe razem ). There is no possibility to
> survive in modern country(raczej world albo society bo country brzmi dziwnie)
without ability of (albo usage of albo ability to use-musisz się
zdecydować)computer service. That is the
> reason why we must be able to cope with that convenient invention of XXth
> century. Students need to have access to computers, which should be provided
> by government for almost all lessons.
> First of all, using computers makes learning more effective. For
> instant, you don’t have to make tiring time-consuming notes by hand R
> 11; you
> can use keyboard to note everything faster and more correct(corretly-słowo
odpowiada na pytanie jak? a nie jaki? więc dodajemy -ly). Furthermore you
> have more time to cooperate with teacher and to take an active part(to
participate actively-znów jak? aktywnie.Nie używa się sformułowania to take an
active part) in
> lesson.
> Secondly, that is a big comfort(raczej-it is very comfortable) for students as
well as for teachers to use
> computers during( for zamiast during.During używa się,gdy po nim następuje
czynność ciągła w trakcie której coś innego,zakłócającego tą czynność się
zdarzyło) explaining new, difficult lessons, especially such ones
> which consist on( consist of -tylko tak.To stałe wyrażenie.Tu lepiej byłoby
użyć involve.Consist of odnosi sie do ilości części z których coś się składa.)
different experiments. As we know well not all of
> experiments can be carried out in schools, but they can be easily replaced by
> computer simulations, which would make difficult topics clearer.
> On the other hand we must remember that we live in Poland. Our
> government doesn’t have (enough-to ważne bo chcesz ten fakt podkreślić) money
for such basic things(w angielskim jest stałe określenie-basic needs na
podstawowe potrzeby człowieka tu można go użyc w odniesieniu do państwa) like
salaries for
> teachers, so it’s obvious that it can’t afford on(afford bez on -afford
sth.Mówimy I can't afford it.-czyli nie mam na to kasy,nie stać mnie.) such
luxuries equ
> ipment(such luxuries albo such luxurious equipment)
> like computers to (nie "to" ale "in" )each class for each lesson. We must be
reasonable and
> realize our restrictions(limitations-czyli ograniczenia w sensie
ogólnym.Restrictions to ograniczenia normatywne o charakterze
formalnym-nakazy,zakazy,przepisy prawne)
> To sum up, I must write that computer is the very important part of
> education process(albo an educational process albo process of education).
Unfortunately we can’t afford on(afford to equip) equipping all schools
>
> with enough number of (po prostu enough computers)computers. However, we
should do everything to improve
> present state(lepiej byłoby-current situation), to give students a chance for
effective learning.
>