translations from hell

[Gość: nat]

I gather that some of you have been trying to earn a living doing
translations. Tell us about the jobs from hell, the ones that kept you awake
in front of the computer all night, with useless dictionaries and no help
from anywhere. I'll contribute my share too.

[gudrun]

Gość portalu: nat napisał(a):

> I gather that some of you have been trying to earn a living doing
> translations. Tell us about the jobs from hell, the ones that kept you awake
> in front of the computer all night, with useless dictionaries and no help
> from anywhere. I'll contribute my share too.

I don't get your point. How can anyone who knows a language have so many
difficulties while translating? That means you are devoid of one feature that
is essential for a good translator - a talent. There are plenty of useful
dictionaries in the Polish book market. Not to mention on-line dictionaries.
Even a person who doesn't know a language perfectly can manage a translation
with the help of dictionary as long as they have a feeling for language.

[Gość: nat]

There are translations and translations, if you know what I mean. Feeling the
language is one thing, knowing the subject matter is another. If you happen to
have a deep knowledge of say literature or history and you are being offered a
big fat cheque for translating into Polish something like a Manual for Poultry
Processing Equipment then it's not very likely to be just a question of talent.
You either decline the job and sizeable proceeds or put a mega effort in and
take it on. I did this particular job in the early 80ties and believe me, the
technical dictionaries on offer were loughable, and on-line help nonexistant.
Some 300 plus pages, with graphs and tables took the best part of two months to
complete. The final outcome was good but many a sleepless night were spent on
trying to find Polish equivalents of machinery parts which would relate to this
particular process rather than say, road building. By the end, I could almost
smell the burning feathers by my computer screen. The job however paid for a
new car so I guess I musn't grumble.

[Gość: eve]

Get a life!!!

[Gość: Wojtek]

gudrun

I take it you are fluent in both, Polish and English, and therefore you see no
problem in translating. Before I ask you to translate "Alice in Wonderland"
(kid's stuff) into Polish, could you just translate 'an asshole' for me, please.

[Gość: nat]

Wojtek, with his talent and feel for language all he (gudrun that is)needs is a
double mirror and he'll crack this one in no time, painful as it might turn out
to be. Eve might help as she so clearly does have a life ... of sorts,
somewhere.... somehow.

To moron gudrun

[Gość: mgr Wypych]

It was suggested that you must be an asshole. I strongly diagree with that
assumption. You are certified moron, or better yet a mook.

This sentence has benn translated from Polish.
"It does not depend to me at all what you will do, but you have to know it will
swim on my intercourse to you."

Task: translate it back to Polish.

[Gość: nat]

Come on gudrun. You said that only limited knowledge of language is required to
translate so do take on mgr's challenge to amusement of all.

[Gość: Wojtek]

You were both rather harsh on him, weren't you. Because of you I'll probably
never see my request answered and I was FIRST.

[Gość: nat]

So sorry Wojtek. But it might be more comfy to find yourself in the fire line
in a company. And no worries about levels of harshness - he wasn't exactly Mr
Subtle either. I know two wrongs don't make a right but still ..

[Gość: Wojtek]

Look, gudrun, I appologise for my colleagues behaviour. I was serious in my
request. How would you translate this: 'How is your asshole today?' I'll tell
how it was done thirty years ago by master translator, when you send your
reply. Fair?

What does "asshole" mean?

[Gość: Choga^_^]

Gość portalu: Wojtek napisał(a):

>
> Look, gudrun, I appologise for my colleagues behaviour. I was serious in my
> request. How would you translate this: 'How is your asshole today?' I'll tell
> how it was done thirty years ago by master translator, when you send your
> reply. Fair?

Look at topic, please. I couldn't find "asshole" in my dictionary. I don't know
what it means and I don't understand this question.
Greetings

[Gość: Wojtek]

Gość portalu: Choga^_^ napisał(a):
>
> Look at topic, please. I couldn't find "asshole" in my dictionary. I don't
know
>
> what it means and I don't understand this question.
> Greetings
It means - a hole in the arse. Time to get a new dictionary, more up to date.
Is it a dictionary sold by Radio Maryja?

[Gość: ipfreely]

Something tells me that our good fellow gudrun would not know an asshole
from... the hole in the wall.

[Gość: feran]

Hi to everyone.

Re Diff.Translation.

I'm a great admirer of Patrick O'Brian.Author of 20 novels about life in Royal
Navy during Napolenic wars.Considered by some as the greatest writer of
historical novel in 20th century.

I do not know if any was translated and published in Poland.Translation would
be very tough,need to know many nautical terms which probably do not exists in
Polish.

4 mln books sold in US.Fox is making movie,budget 140 mln$,Rusell Crowe
starring."The Far Side of the World"


First issue books are worth 600-700$.


The best title in series(for me)"The Nutmeg of Consolation".

Anybody interested in topic?

[gudrun]

I unclog mu nose towards you, sons of a window dresser. I wave my private parts
at your aunties, you brightly-coloured, mealy-templed, cranberry-smelling,
electric donkey-bottom biters! I fart in your general direction! ROMANI ITE
DOMUM (one hundred times)

[Gość: Wojtek]

hi, gudrun,
taken you a while, hasn't it, to lick just one wound. Say, how is 'asshole'
translation going? Working hard?

[gudrun]

I'm not an internet addict and have much more interesting things to do than
waiting for the posts. As for the asshole, you may kiss me straight there
though I'm sick at the thought. Fags should't be allowed here.

Fags

[Gość: mishy]

ouch, don't!
We luv all sorts here, boys, girls, in-betweens and anally obsessed pervs
of any kind we embrace.
We embrace all fans of nether & other orifices and all fetish is welcome.
Indulge!
but please, please do not solicit, now that we will not tolerate.
Should a need arise on your side there's plenty of other certified
establishments that will provide for a small fee.

Fags

[Gość: mishy]

ouch, don't!
We luv all sorts here, boys, girls, in-betweens and anally obsessed pervs
of any kind we embrace.
We embrace all fans of nether & other orifices and all fetish is welcome.
Indulge!
but please, please do not solicit, now that we will not tolerate.
Should a need arise on your side there's plenty of other certified
establishments that will provide for a small fee.

Fags

[Gość: mishy]

ouch, don't!
We luv all sorts here, boys, girls, in-betweens and anally obsessed pervs
of any kind we embrace.
We embrace all fans of nether & other orifices and all fetish is welcome.
Indulge!
but please, please do not solicit, now that we will not tolerate.
Should a need arise on your side there's plenty of other certified
establishments that will provide for a small fee.

Fagots? Ouch, don't!

[Gość: mishy]

We luv all sorts here, boys, girls, in-betweens and anally obsessed pervs
of any kind we embrace.
We embrace all fans of nether & other orifices and all fetish is welcome.
Indulge!
but please, please do not solicit, now that we will not tolerate.
Should a need arise on your side, there's plenty of other certified
establishments that will provide for a small fee, youuuuuu naaaaasteee
little boy, you!

Fagots? Ouch, don't!

[Gość: mishy]

We luv all sorts here, boys, girls, in-betweens and anally obsessed pervs
of any kind we embrace.
We embrace all fans of nether & other orifices and all fetish is welcome.
Indulge!
but please, please do not solicit, now that we will not tolerate.
Should a need arise on your side, there's plenty of other certified
establishments that will provide for a small fee, youuuuuu naaaaasteee
little boy, you!

Fagots? Ouch, don't!

[Gość: mishy]

We luv all sorts here, boys, girls, in-betweens and anally obsessed pervs
of any kind we embrace.
We embrace all fans of nether & other orifices and all fetish is welcome.
Indulge!
but please, please do not solicit, now that we will not tolerate.
Should a need arise on your side, there's plenty of other certified
establishments that will provide for a small fee, youuuuuu naaaaasteee
little boy, you!

Fagots? Ouch, don't!

[Gość: mishy]

We luv all sorts here, boys, girls, in-betweens and anally obsessed pervs
of any kind we embrace.
We embrace all fans of nether & other orifices and all fetish is welcome.
Indulge!
but please, please do not solicit, now that we will not tolerate.
Should a need arise on your side, there's plenty of other certified
establishments that will provide for a small fee, youuuuuu naaaaasteee
little boy, you!

Fagots? Ouch, don't!

[Gość: mishy]

We luv all sorts here, boys, girls, in-betweens and anally obsessed pervs
of any kind we embrace.
We embrace all fans of nether & other orifices and all fetish is welcome.
Indulge!
but please, please do not solicit, now that we will not tolerate.
Should a need arise on your side, there's plenty of other certified
establishments that will provide for a small fee, youuuuuu naaaaasteee
little boy, you!

Fagots? Ouch, don't!

[Gość: mishy]

We luv all sorts here, boys, girls, in-betweens and anally obsessed pervs
of any kind we embrace.
We embrace all fans of nether & other orifices and all fetish is welcome.
Indulge!
but please, please do not solicit, now that we will not tolerate.
Should a need arise on your side, there's plenty of other certified
establishments that will provide for a small fee, youuuuuu naaaaasteee
little boy, you!

[Gość: Bert]

gudrun napisała:

ROMANI ITE
> DOMUM (one hundred times)

Me oportet propter praeceptum te nocere. Mater tua
criceta fuit, et pater tuo redoluit bacarum sambucus.
Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus
ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem.

[gudrun]

Lost for words, you nasty, stuch-up twit? Alreet you better piss off.

[Gość: Wojtek]

Oh, sorry gudrun, didn't mean to ignore your kind post. I thought you couldn't
be bothered to wait for replies. So, what is your problem, again?

Massa gudrun = mook

[Gość: mgr Wypych]

Apparently there is nobody more knowledgeable than gudrun.
At this very moment I have to give up.
No matter what you write he has got a ready answer loaded with expletives.
He is an asshole.

[gudrun]

Gość portalu: mgr Wypych napisał(a):

> Apparently there is nobody more knowledgeable than gudrun.
> At this very moment I have to give up.
> No matter what you write he has got a ready answer loaded with expletives.
> He is an asshole.
>
said A Snivelling Little Rat-Faced Git. At this very moment, apparently, lack
of any other vocabulary than extremely sophisticated expression "asshole" you'd
better give up, you great poovy po-nagger.

[Gość: nat]

So, gudrun has emerged. It's true then what they say abou bile eventually
floating up to the top. We all know the type well: a sad individual, who when
unable to substantiate his side of an argument with logical evidence, resorts
to violent abuse directed at those who dare questioning his opinions. Pig
headed moron with high level expertise in gutter vocab. Is that where the yob
resides when he has better things to do than attend the forum? Admit it mate,
you have lost this one. Generally, sounds like you've lost it big way.

[gudrun]

This sketch is definitely too silly. I wasn't "violently abusive" (sounds even
more silly)in my first post. It was enough to nip out for a few hours to
receive a series of replies from white-feathered slimy trollopes. But as they
say: "Nobody expects Spanish Inquisition" Now, anyone say something that makes
sense or.....( I wouldn't like to use gutter language)

[Gość: nat]

If getting childish now means that you have seen the error of your ways, then
maybe we can all get back to an even keel exchange of opinions. Indeed there
was nothing untoward in your first post but you allowed yourself to go somewhat
crazy since. Granted, it did liven up the proceedings.

[gudrun]

It's not childish it's cult. If you don't know this, your ignorance explains
trouble you have with translation tasks. Bye

[Gość: Wojtek]

nat,
have you done other than 'Poultry...' translations, less technical more general
or even literary ones?

gudrun,
anyone who had a go at translating knows that it is a skill in its own right
and requires more than a good dictionary. If you want to contribute something
here , you are welcome... but stop this abuse hurling. It is demeaning. To
yourself mmostly.

[gudrun]

Gość portalu: Wojtek napisał(a):

> nat,
> have you done other than 'Poultry...' translations, less technical more
general
>
> or even literary ones?
>
> gudrun,
> anyone who had a go at translating knows that it is a skill in its own right
> and requires more than a good dictionary. If you want to contribute something
> here , you are welcome... but stop this abuse hurling. It is demeaning. To
> yourself mmostly.
Sorry, but it wasn't me to start this "abuse hurling". When I expressed my
opinion politely, the responces were no less abusive than my posts sent later.
I would even dare to say that mine were high above. As Oscar W. would say, if
they were well written, their content is not of as big importance.

[Gość: nat]

To Wojtek

In the days before western business opened offices in Poland there had been a
lot of money to be made from English/Polish and Polish/English translation
here. Not one to say no to attractive financial rewards, I accepted and
carried out a variety of jobs: legal documentation, to do mostly with
reclaiming estates confiscated after the war; technical documentation for
various projects submitted to Polish authorities; advertising for confectionary
companies; information literature for satellite TV; Polish Youth Culture script
for British independent TV programme makers. These are the few that spring to
mind.
Sadly, I have never done any real literary translations apart from a book by a
Polish faith healer, which was pure rubbish in any language.
Since my contacts with Poland are close to non-existent and my family here
don't speak a word of Polish, in the recent years I have given up on attempting
to translate anything into Polish. In my opinion our native language has
changed far too much, incorporated so much vocabulary from other languages that
it has become hard for me to feel what sounds right and what doesn't. Trying to
come through as coherent has become increasingly difficult.



To gudrun
Well, you really are a waste of space by sound of everything you have so far
revealed about yourself. Go and bury your head somewhere deep and return, if
you must, once mature enough to handle adult exchange of opinions.

[Gość: nat]

To Wojtek

In the days before western business opened offices in Poland there had been a
lot of money to be made from English/Polish and Polish/English translation
here. Not one to say no to attractive financial rewards, I accepted and
carried out a variety of jobs: legal documentation, to do mostly with
reclaiming estates confiscated after the war; technical documentation for
various projects submitted to Polish authorities; advertising for confectionary
companies; information literature for satellite TV; Polish Youth Culture script
for British independent TV programme makers. These are the few that spring to
mind.
Sadly, I have never done any real literary translations apart from a book by a
Polish faith healer, which was pure rubbish in any language.
Since my contacts with Poland are close to non-existent and my family here
don't speak a word of Polish, in the recent years I have given up on attempting
to translate anything into Polish. In my opinion our native language has
changed far too much, incorporated so much vocabulary from other languages that
it has become hard for me to feel what sounds right and what doesn't. Trying to
come through as coherent has become increasingly difficult.



To gudrun
Well, you really are a waste of space by sound of everything you have so far
revealed about yourself. Go and bury your head somewhere deep and return, if
you must, once mature enough to handle adult exchange of opinions.

[gudrun]

Didn't mean to confuse you so much. I know this type: not so young, with
inferiority complex (no wonder). You should be more knowledgeable, dear "adult"
The world is unfortunetaly full of grown-up twits. Don't bother to answer. You
have no chance.

[Gość: To gurun]

Isn't it just what you would like? In your quality spare time why don't you
target nursery rhymes - 'sticks and stones ...' to you dear. And what is it
that you REALLY had to say, on anything at all, you oh so young, beautiful and
and of intellect so superior to ...reptiles? Lonely planet, isn't it. Get a
grip and have a think. It will hurt initially but the process might just grow
on you; and given time, who knows ... you might even come up with something
worth saying. Fingers crossed!

[Gość: nat]

Gość portalu: To gurun napisał(a):

> Isn't it just what you would like? In your quality spare time why don't you
> target nursery rhymes - 'sticks and stones ...' to you dear. And what is it
> that you REALLY had to say, on anything at all, you oh so young, beautiful
and
> and of intellect so superior to ...reptiles? Lonely planet, isn't it. Get a
> grip and have a think. It will hurt initially but the process might just grow
> on you; and given time, who knows ... you might even come up with something
> worth saying. Fingers crossed!


Sorry for confusion. That was in fact from me (NAT) to DEAR GURUN-BRAT

[gudrun]

Cross your brain ganglions, maybe it will start working (wishful thinking).

mook is a gal

[Gość: mgr Wypych]

Hallo everybody, excluding gudrun.
So now you know how stupid, ignorant and unintelligent you are.
You bunch of tweets. I told you before not to measure up to gudrun. You stand
no chance as her vocabulary is superior to yours and mine.
Some of us called him an asshole and that was wrong. Gudrun is an aging,
sexually unsatisfied woman with raging hormonal imbalance. Therefore she is a
cunt.
I’m better off talking to my dog.
Signing off
Mgr Wypych

PS. I am imposing ban on myself. I ain’t talking to gudrun no more.

[gudrun]

I would be sexually unsatisfied woman with raging hormonal imbalance if I
counted on you to satisfy me. Anyway never have been interested in fags.

[Gość: Wojtek]

He is??? Well, well, well. My being reasonable in trying to be nice got me to
a ... camp, of sorts. And Mgr's being ureasonable in trying to be un-nice got
him to the same camp. Isn't life strange?
Mgr, how do you know all that about lovely gudrun? A woman? Beehh...!

it's called menopause n/t

[Gość: mgr Wypych]

[Gość: nat]

Raging hormonal imbalance - you'e put your finger on it. It explains
irrationality on vast scale. Tried treatment? Padded cage with no internet
connection would be a blessing. All you blokes out there - do you really
believe IT is a female form of life? At ITS earliest stage of evolution? And
did IT originate from good old Poland? Bialowieza perhaps? Sorry bisons, didn't
mean to be nasty.

[lolita_lolita]

all right. I would say that she is not the aging one as mgr. suggests. Just
look at her production so far. This looks like 16 to 17 year old at work.
There is a one particular twit from IP* sympatico.ca that comes to mind.

[Gość: nat]

Just realised it's Halloween time of the year, ie nasty old hags galore.Sorry
gudrun, all is forgiven. We'll keep psychoanalysis till after the full moon.

Lolita might have a point as to maturity level. But how bitter one must feel
about the world to accumulate so much pointless nastiness?

[Gość: erwas]

Gość portalu: nat napisał(a):

But how bitter one must feel
> about the world to accumulate so much pointless nastiness?

cool it nat.

you are trashing this forum with your endless flamin' spats.

[Gość: nat]

Erwas, you come through as a sensible sort of person butI think you are being a
bit unfair here. I started a genuine topic to find out about people's
experiences with translating. I didn't get on a high horse and rage in response
to the flippant reaction. The events were kidnapped somewhere along the line,
well away from the subject matter intended, and turned into what it has now
become. Well, people do react to stupidity. It needn't be a spat if some
control over the use of vocabulary could be exercised. Not a fault you can put
at my door.

[Gość: Wojtek]

OK,OK, chill it - it started with my employment of a compound word
meaning 'osla dziura', its ironic ambiguity invited more of the same and
Wacko's heavy artillery made it into the war...
Apologies and kisses all around, brothers and sisters. Contribute to the
topic, which is translation. BTW, Maciej Slomczynski translated the sentence in
question thus: 'Jak sie ma twoj przewod gowienny?' You can find it in his
Polish translation of J. Joyce's "Ulysses".

Regards, my lovlies.

[Gość: nat]

There you are, your intentions were serious and honourable all along but got
misconstrued in the heat of proceedings. Bless you and your diplomatic skills!

Back to translation. It's absolutely brilliant! Undoubtedly a sign of a good
translator. He obviously knows James Joyce very well and understands
his 'stream of consciousness' prose. In the context of Ulysses, I would be hard
pushed to translate the phrase into Polish and would, most probably, fail
miserably. In fact, having read it in English at uni, I now feel very tempted
to find a Polish copy, just to see how the text has been dealt with and how it
reads. I imagine, it must be one of the hardest literary texts to handle.
Thanks Wojtek, it was a treat. Any more where this one came from?
Have YOU done any serious translating?

Hear! Hear! Back to peace on the web.

[Gość: Wojtek]

Thank you, dear, for kind words and appreciation of my mediative skills.
And no, I'm afraid, I haven't got any more of the same caliber, but knowing you
are hell bent on difficult ones, I'll leave you with these few for now (it will
also be a kind of punishment for Mgr with his pro-war stance and B-shite
leanings): "Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better."
"We are making the right decisions to bring the solution to an end." "And one
of the things to make sure that we do is anything."
In the meantime I'll search for my Beckett.

[Gość: nat]

Where on earth do you find them? All quoted gems are hilarious. You wouldn't
have fished them out from the speeches by the current president of the greatest
country on earth? Feels like I'll have to intensify my efforts to to find
something to amuse you.
In the meantime, again from my favourite publication on Polish cuisine,(just so
that you are aware of context) - would you guess what they mean under the
cryptic description of 'topping polonaise'?. Don't salivate yet.

[Gość: Wojtek]

Tluszcz ze skwarkami?

www.dubyaspeak.com/

[Gość: nat]

Wrong, dear boy. It's a humble 'zrumieniona buleczka z maslem'
Basicaly, the book ought to come with a compulsory insurance cover: third party
liability (to cover accidental fatalities among the guests at your dinner
table), and extended house cover to encompass damages arising from the oven
overheat/explosin, as there is no prescibed time for any recipe to be completed
in. Total cremation seems to be the norm. One Slivovitz too many and the chef
is likely to render himself without a roof over his head.

Dubyaspeak site is priceless. Cheers.

[Gość: mgr Wypych]

erwas, erwas how could you?
Nat is not at fault here. It is gudrun who's driving this topic to a gutter.
Say you are sorry.

[Gość: erwas]

Gość portalu: mgr Wypych napisał(a):

> erwas, erwas how could you?
> Nat is not at fault here. It is gudrun who's driving this topic to a gutter.
> Say you are sorry.

sorry

[Gość: Wojtek]

Fifty one! Not bad, eh?

[Gość: nat]

Well, unfortunately the last delivery of posts comes from some other sad case
screaming for recognition from wilderness. How does one spread pesticide on the
net? Sounds like this thread has been now killed off.

I say...

[Gość: erwas]

...steady-on old girl, or I'll take my profuse apologies back.

erwas

Gość portalu: nat napisał(a):

> Well, unfortunately the last delivery of posts comes from some other sad case
> screaming for recognition from wilderness. How does one spread pesticide on
the
>
> net? Sounds like this thread has been now killed off.

[Gość: nat]

erwas, old boy, your apologies were graciously accepted and a return to subject
matter was seriously attempted. No joy there. I give up.

[Gość: mishy]

Dear Nat,
Are you refering to the 5-fold technical fault overposting, or to the previous
gentlemen's premature ejaculation of " libelous, defamatory, obscene,
pornographic, abusive, violent, bigoted and hate-oriented" content?

yours from the woods
mishy

quoted:

"Well, unfortunately the last delivery of posts comes from some other sad
case screaming for recognition from wilderness. How does one spread
pesticide on the net?"

Thank you for being here today. That's how. Z z z z z , the sun is calling me.
Buzzing off back to the blossoming meadows...

[Gość: Wojtek]

That's asking for a slap, Methinks.

Nat,
don't give up, please. Give us something to rake our brains for. A competition
for a best translation perhaps? With prizes. Your photo... in nude... he? It's
your thread. Put your heart to it!

[Gość: nat]

It was my thread to start with but feel I'm being stitched up here. I have been
awarded a personal watchdog in erwas who suffers gladly rudness and stupidity
of others but takes it upon himself to bring me in line with his moral
guidelines every time I dare to digress from the main topic. Swearing is fine
but sarcasm appears hard to handle. And how many people did actually say
anything on the subject of translations?
As for the photos Wojtek, nudity is not in season here right now, but should
you reside in sunnier climes then perhaps you could oblige - though beware of
the fallout.

[Gość: Wojtek]

Dear Nat,
taking an easy op-out, aren't you. Just say you are tired. Erwas? In my humble
opinion, he apealed to you because he found you the person worth appealing to.
Know what I mean? I would"ve taken it as a compliment. C'mon gal!

[Gość: nat]

Wojtek, my lovely; not so much tired as exhausted. Don't know anymore what it's
all meant to be about. Maybe ought to sleep on it before foot-in-the mouth
strikes again. Your Christian efforts of reconcilliation and peace for all are
highly appreciated but even you are not able to kick start sensible
conversation with that lot. As for me, I'm ready for a Bacardi Breezer or two.
Take care.

[Gość: Wojtek]

Gość portalu: nat napisał(a):

> not so much tired as exhausted.<

Now, where does this come from, Oxbridge?


>Don't know anymore what it's all meant to be about.<

Look at the thread heading. Anyway, you haven't seen me. Been lurking only.

[Gość: Wojtek]

... yer translators, I've got something for ya.. . Short but tough and with an
Irish angle. As I was not able to find a copy of Beckett's "Watt"
unfortunately, I am quoting from memory, ok? But first a little 'feel of the
land'. Watt is employed as a man-servant in Mr Knott's House. There are other
employees, of course, and one is an Irish gardener, Mr X (can't remember his
name). It is one of Watt's duties to offer a bottle or two of stout to Mr X
about lunch-time. On one occasion, Mr X, under pressure of Watt's questioning
gaze, feels necessary to protest, saying:
"It's only me turd or fart."

Try to render that in Polish.

[Gość: nat]

Woytek, I knew you'd come up trumps! Another tough one it is indeed. Well, I
could deride vulgarity of the quotation, hide behind a veil of decency and
refuse to put it into our ancestral speake. But I won't. The truth is that
right now, I have no idea how to say in Polish so that it retains the original
ring.
You see, I have been to Oxbridge (to answer your earlier query), but mostly on
the open top double decker. AAAHHH ...

[Gość: nat]

Well, couple of days have passed and nobody has come up with a Polish version
of ' it's only me turd or fart'. Will you now reveal how it has been translated?

[Gość: Wojtek]

Couple of days passed, indeed. I was hoping for some bravado, some unexpected
twists and thunders... Try, try again...

(Forget about the 'toilet' aspect of it. Its briliance for me consisted in the
fact that I could actually 'hear' an Irishman speak, first of all. There are
funny regional accents, phrases in Polish, aren't there.) Come on!