ontarian
03.11.08, 18:57
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
bonk: A white one...
bonk: Hi, this is bonk. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
bonk: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
bonk: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet...
it's still on my desk... sorry....
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon onto the left of the
screen.
bonk: Your left or my left?
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
bonk: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on 'start' for me and...
bonk: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill
Gates.
bonk: Hi, good afternoon, this is bonk,
I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'.
I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor,
but the computer still says it can't find it...
bonk: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a colour printer?
bonk: Aaaah....................thank you.
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
bonk: A teddy bear my pig bought for me at Woolies.
bonk: My keyboard is not working any more.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
bonk: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
bonk: ! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
bonk: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
Is there another keyboard?
bonk: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
Tech support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple,
a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
bonk: Is that 7 in capital letters?
bonk: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
bonk: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
bonk: Five stars.
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
bonk: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
bonk: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
bonk: I have a huge problem.
A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer,
but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
Tech support: How may I help you?
bonk: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
bonk: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address,
but how do I get the circle around it?
bonk called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
bonk: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his
printer is working fine.'
Tech support: 'Okay bonk, let's press the control and escape keys at
the same time.
That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
bonk: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, bonk.
bonk: What do you mean?
Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, bonk.
bonk: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!
