Funny mistakes

[Gość: janek]

Proponuję wejść na stronę i przeczytać tłumaczenie na język polski.
www.chemsafety.gov/about/who.htm

[Gość: crms]

Gość portalu: janek napisał(a):

> Proponuję wejść na stronę i przeczytać tłumaczenie na język polski.
> <a
href="http://www.chemsafety.gov/about/who.htm"target="_blank">www.chemsafety
> .gov/about/who.htm</a>
>

it is funny - there is no polish translation...

Please excuse my daughter?

[Gość: Bert]

From actual ?please excuse? letters sent to schools.
Parents write them, teachers have to read them. Original
spelling quoted.


Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I
had her shot.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been
bothered by very close veins.

Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan.28,
29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose
vowels.

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday
he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out
of his face.

Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a
fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her
sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother
had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the
best either, sore throat and fever. There must be
something going around, her father even got hot last night.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a
cold and could not breed well.

Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E.
today. Please execute him.

(words in the brackets were crossed out)
Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had
[diahre] [dyrea] [direathe]-

http://www.angielski.EDU.pl

[Gość: pundit]

Witam,

na www.angielski.EDU.pl jest sporo roznych fajnych pomylek tego typu w
dziale 'humor'...

[Gość: banan]

dzieki z gory: thank you from the hill

zwierze ci sie: i will animal to you

zapalenie opon mozgowych: brain tyre fire

wierze ci: i tower you

czuje do ciebie pociag: i feel train to you


pzdr/grtz
banan

Dear Landlord...

[Gość: Bert]

These are extracts from actual letters sent to various
councils and housing associations throughout the UK:

I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired
and burnt my knob off.

I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very
badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls
against my fence.

Will you please send someone to mend the garden path, my
wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is
pregnant?

I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster
and the rest are plain filthy.

The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children
until it is cleared.

Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a
funny colour and not fit to drink.

I want to complain about the farmer across the road,
every morning at 6:00am his cock wakes me up and its now
getting too much for me.

The man next door has a large erection in the garden,
which is unsightly and dangerous.

Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two small children and
would like a third so please send someone round to do
something about it.

I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would
you please do something about the noise made by the man I
have on top of me every night.

Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job
and satisfy my wife.

I have had the clerk of the works down on the floor six
times but I still have had no satisfaction.

He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and
I just can't take it any more.

The toilet seat is cracked. Where do I stand?

When the workmen were here they put their tools in my
wife's new drawers and made a mess. Please send men with
clean tools to finish the job and keep my wife happy.

My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back
passage has fungus in it.

[Gość: gagata76]

what about movies...do you remember?dirty dancing-wirujacy sex heheheheh....

[Gość: Strzelec]

Gość portalu: Voyteck napisał(a):

> While playing golf president Bush said "Now, watch this drive". Wiadomosci
> translated it to "Teraz ide sobie pojezdzic". That reminded me of an article
> I read some time ago "Jak poezje amerykanska zerznac tepym nozem" by
> Stansilaw Baranczak. It had a whole bunch of funny mistakes made by polish
> translators...
>
> Anyway, if you know of any funny mistakes, let us know.

Some time ago a female colleague of mine from the office (I live and work in
Canada) approached me with a translation request. It turned out that her father
that had recently passed away was of Polish origin and she was rediscovering
her roots. She had just returned from Poland, met her father's relatives. The
problem was that she could not speak Polish but wanted to write a letter to the
relatives in Poland, and in their native language, i.e. Polish. Actually her
request was not so much to translate the letter but to proofread it as she had
already written it in Polish herself, with the help of a dictionary. She hands
me the letter and I start reading it. After a few moments I realize that I have
no clue what the letter is all about. What struck me as very odd was that she
used the word "studnia" in almost every sentence, several times. Not knowing
what she was talking about (in her letter) I asked her if she perhaps had the
English version of the letter. She did, I looked at it and, forgive me, burst
out laughing. I laughed my socks off, I could not help it. Yeah, right...she
would start each and every sentence with the word "well", she would put it in
the middle of most sentences too...so that was the "studnia" she was talking
about !!! ;-) Naturally I had to translate the whole letter from scratch, her
Polish needed too much polishing ...

[Gość: fazz]

Bye,honey!!!- kup miód

[Gość: wierzbowa]

from one of the Harry Potter's books :
"and Bob's your uncle" - translated - "i Bob jest twoim wujkiem"

[Gość: azm]

After a visit to my friends' in Canada, they asked me: Well, and how do you
like our house?
My reply was: Oh, great, very imposing.

I wanted to say "impressive", but after several drinks , you know..

[butter_fly]

The other day I did complain a bit. I sai:
'I have a cold bed' when I meant to say 'I have a bad cold'...

Well, I didn't have to wait long for the ...rescue;)

[Gość: shosha]

za pan brat "behind mr brother"