Gość: martinal
IP: *.214.101.184.Dial1.Boston1.Level3.net
11.09.02, 05:12
... over Afghanistan has just been completed.
It was another five million dollar drop of
Bennies (Ben Franklins, or hundred dollar bills) for
the Afghan peasantry. The hundreds were in the usual
envelopes with George Bush's face on the outside, as
we've mentioned before.
This time they were trying to spread leaflets
about "Wanted: Terrorists." Inside the envelope not
only were there a couple of Bennies, but there was a
pamphlet, which looked like a menu for a Chinese
restaurant. There were photographs of all these people
we're looking for with their names and number one,
number two and number three next to them. And in the
middle of the column it says, "Circle the terrorist you
know about" and in the left hand column was the reward,
you know, like "Three million afghanis and a lifetime
supply of camel dung" or "Four million afghanis plus a
microwave oven." You were supposed to circle with your
pencil the ones you knew about then turn it in to the
local American forces. It was funny; it looked just
like a Chinese menu.
Assuming that the Afghans didn't have any pencils,
they dropped pencils along with the envelopes and the
money and brochures. What our "intelligence" didn't
realize, of course, is that these people didn't know
what "pencils" were from a hole in the wall.
They were going to initially drop them in
cartons, but the government bought them from some
fly-by-night company called the Dung Show Pencil
Company or something like that. They used mostly C-130
cargo planes for this and they're throwing out the
pencils out of the plane. You just stack them up and
out they go, out of the plane - but they're sharpened
pencils and they're falling to the ground. Then they
showed the Afghan peasants sitting around and they know
George Bush as "The Great White Father of the West Who
Causes the Heavens To Rain Down Bennies."
But they didn't realize that when you drop
sharpened pencils from the sky you're going to hurt
somebody. So they're raining down these envelopes along
with the pencils and the pencils are hitting people and
the people are running and the camels are bolting and
the sheep are trying to hide. The pencils were actually
sticking into the ground when they hit. They're also
sticking out of the roofs of the huts. The Afghan
tribal leader through an interpreter, asked, "Why are
you dropping sharpened sticks on us?" Finally they got
the hang of it and though they didn't get what the
pencils were for, the minute it stopped, they ran back
out of their huts to grab their envelopes.
They've seen the WANTED brochures so they had an
idea what that is. But the pencils completely baffled
them. Then the camels started to come back, no longer
frightened - but they had pencils sticking out of their
backs. Then the camels started grazing on the pencils
and actually eating the pencils.
The French interpreter explained that the
graphite in the pencil acts on camels' bowels like
Exlax does to people. And, of course, this is very
beneficial for the average Afghan because dried camel
dung is used for just about everything.
The Afghans were sitting up and smiling holding
up their pencils. They called the pencils "Sharpened
Sticks Which Cause Camels to Give Much Dung." They love
them and they want more pencils now. They're feeding
the camels these pencils and the camels are pooping up
a storm and they can't get over it.
--------------------------------
a piece of a piece by Al Martin
...........your tax money at work
TOEFL reading comprehension test:
1. What are Bennies?
2. Were Bennies and pencils airborn?
3. What does a Chinese restaurant menu look like?
4. Why do you sharpen pencils?
5. Is a pencil a good laxative?
6. Why were the camels bolting?
7. What is wrong with some dung?
8. Is more dung better than little dung?
9. ???
10. ???
