could you help me with some jokes?

[Gość: A...]

cześć
Musze napisac, albo przetłumaczyc jakis dowcip na angielski...jesli znacie
jakies smieszne i niezbyt długie dowcipy nawet po polsku, to napiszcie,
najbardziej bedę wdzięczna za te w języku angielskim....thank you very much:)

[gelatik_]

Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young
engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the
benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a five-week vacation, 14
paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching your retirement fund
to 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red
Corvette?"

The young engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

The interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[gelatik_]

There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer
and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road,
and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.
The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and
trying to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineer, not
knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified
and getting blocked somewhere.

Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a
suggestion, "Why don't we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the
windows again, and maybe it'll work !?"

[jerzy312]

Help yourself:
www.google.de/search?q=jokes&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=de&btnG=Google+Suche&meta=

[Gość: Ches]

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After reaching a comfortable
cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies
and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293,
nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore,
we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax. OH, MY
GOD!!!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the
intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you
earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant brought me a cup of
very hot coffee which ended up spilling in my lap. You should see the front of
my pants! A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back
of mine!"

[Gość: cm]

A lady walks into a pharmacy and speeks to the pharmacist.
"Excuse me, I would like to buy some arsenic."
"What would you need arsenic for?" he replies.
"Oh, I want to poison my husband."
"I'm sorry, but I can't sell you arsenic."

She reaches into her purse and takes out a photo of her husband and the
pharmacists wife in bed and hands it to him.

"Oh, you never said you had a prescription."